Gigem2012
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Posts posted by Gigem2012
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Sabastian,
I feel your pain. It is crazy how similar our timeline and experience with adderall is. I did not take it for as long as you but I took a slightly higher dose (20-40mg).
Not a day goes by that I do not wonder if my brain is permanently damaged/altered from adderall. I am going on 17 months off and I want to say I am doing better than 1 month off but am I?? I am not so sure it is definitive.
I constantly debate what you debate, keep pushing or get back on medicine. Life is not as fun/interesting/energetic as it was for the 2-3 years I was on adderall. My gut tells me the best thing to do is to keep pushing forward and that one day we will be back to our normal selves. The hardest part is not knowing if we will ever be the same, and if so, how long will it take?
I hold a good paying full time job but the day to day struggle is miserable. Obviously I am not near as sharp as I was on adderall, but I am almost positive I was sharper than this during my pre-adderall days.
I probably notice the most change is my social skills. I used to be a lot more outgoing and quick to come up with responses to questions, where as now it is not near as easy.
Stay positive and keep pushing forward. If you need to direct message me to talk more in depth, feel free to do so. Just know you are not the only one struggling. I wish more than anything I could be back to normal!
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This has been the hardest 16 months of my life. I have zero focus, confidence, energy... As long as I know there is light at the end of the tunnel I will be fine. I guess most of the recovery is mental. If only I would have known I would feel this way. Definately my biggest regret in life.
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Do any of you struggle with chronic headaches? I have been dealing with them for almost the full amount of time I have been off Adderall.
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InRecovery,
This may be sad, but I am not sure what PAWS is. Also, at what point in the process are you?
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Sabastian,
I have been off Adderall for 16 months and am struggling with everything you are today. I was able to graduate college, find and maintain a job during these 16 months, but they have been hell.
I never feel normal. I constantly feel disoriented. Like you, I am always online searching for a cure or remedy so I can return to my normal self. I find myself more short tempered than I ever was. Motivation is hard to come by.
I wish I would know that I was going to recover. That is the part that I cant get over. I am constantly wondering if permanent damage has been done. Keep me posted on your progress since we are on the same time frame for recovery. Good luck!
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How would you guys stay up for so long? I felt like I was taking a lot (30-40mgs) and I can only remember pulling one or two all nighters.
The meth and Adderall comparison is what scares me. As a former Adderall user, I was never aware of the potential damages it could do. I really hope my dopamine receptors are not burned up. I still enjoy things, just not as much.
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Long is a relative term. I was thinking that after a year to a year and a half that I would be back to normal. I am able to function but constantly thinking about how different I feel.
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The constant disorientation kills me. I have not found a cure for it.
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InRecovery,
I am assuming you have been through a similar experience? If so, could you share your story.
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I need to remain positive and hope for the best but am convinced it is permanent. If nothing has happened in 16 months, I doubt it happens at all.
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Diet is great. No fried/processed foods. I am dealing with headaches from a shoulder problem so exercise is limited to a few days a week but I am active. I take a multi, fish oil, vitamin c and a greens supplement with all of my other vitamins and minerals.
I keep wondering when I will discover the new normal. I keep waiting but am not happy with the way I feel.
The headaches happened about two months after Adderall and have not went away ever since. I have been to many doctors trying to find the cause and so far it has been unsuccessful.
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I was prescribed and took Adderall for 2.5 years. I feel as if I took too much but never took more than the prescribed dosage. I would take 30mg a day about 3-4x a week and occasionally got up a little higher in dosage than that. I was prescribed 30mg 2x a day.I have been off Adderall for 16 months and haven't felt 100% normal at any point in the past 16 months. My brain feels like it was fried during those 2.5 years. I have had blood work to check for deficiencies and do not have any. Has anyone else struggled with what I am dealing with? I constantly feel disoriented. I am obviously cognitively slower than when on Adderall and keep thinking I would return to normal but it hasn't happened. I have a full time job and just built a house but feel dumb/confused/weird all of the time.Not a day goes by where I don't think about the damage I have done. Will I ever return to the normal person I was? I have a hard time focusing in meetings, reading, being motivated. Maybe it is just ADD I am dealing with but I am convinced it was Adderall damaging my brain. I often times find myself just starring off into space and not thinking anything at all. I also have a hard time enjoying as many things as I should in life.Hoping someone can share some light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks!
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I was prescribed and took Adderall for 2.5 years. I feel as if I took too much but never took more than the prescribed dosage. I would take 30mg a day about 3-4x a week and occasionally got up a little higher in dosage than that. I was prescribed 30mg 2x a day.I have been off Adderall for 16 months and haven't felt 100% normal at any point in the past 16 months. My brain feels like it was fried during those 2.5 years. I have had blood work to check for deficiencies and do not have any. Has anyone else struggled with what I am dealing with? I constantly feel disoriented. I am obviously cognitively slower than when on Adderall and keep thinking I would return to normal but it hasn't happened. I have a full time job and just built a house but feel dumb all of the time. Could someone please help. Thanks!
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The toughest thing I am dealing with is constantly wondering "if this is normal". I am always in a thinking state trying to remember if I have felt like this before adderall or if I felt like this 2 years ago. It may be normal but sure doesn't feel like it.
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No, I didn't notice or get the feeling I have until after Adderall. It's hard to put into words. As I mentioned earlier, the best word to describe it is disorientation. I also feel as if I have some visual problems. I went to the eye doctor and they didn't find anything so it may be mental?
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Interesting. There would be weeks where I would take it 4-5x a week but on average over 2.5 years it was about 2-3x a week.
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I wasn't prescribed adderall, I bought it from different people who had prescriptions. For the year of usage I took it as much as I could but not daily. After the first year, I began taking probably 30mg daily which eventually got to upwards of 150mgs. My last 12 months I was taking 60-70mg daily and that was "just to feel normal". I too have been playing lumosity games and believe that the natural way is best. I have been also been lifting weights 5-7 times per week since I quit. I also run on occasion and have noticed that I am significantly more clear-headed after a good run. I think cardiovascular exercise is probably the most important type of physical exercise to increase cognitive performance and there are actually studies that back this up. Other than that, I take a super multi-vitamin, melotonin to help get in to a deep sleep quickly, and fish oil which is supposed to really help out the brain among other things.
I definitely don't feel "dumb" like i did between months 1-9, however, I certainly have some more mental improvements to make. Let's do this together! A part of me misses the super-focused absolutely "on point" feeling that adderall gave me in the beginning, however, I know I'll get a much more natural version of that feeling eventually; in fact, it's already starting to surface.
Dillon
Ditto to everything you just mentioned. However, I was prescribed Adderall and took it 2-3x per week. I never took more than 45mg a day, but at the time, that felt like A LOT. My work performance is pretty good. I too notice that I am not on the "high" or up to speed that we were on while taking Adderall. I believe more than anything that it is an adjustment period to get use to normal speeds. All of the neuros I have asked tell me that I shouldn't have caused irreversible damage to my brain. It is just scary because no one really knows. All I can do is pray and continue to grind it out and get better each day!
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What's up Gigem,
I am 11 and a half months sober and I totally felt dumb after quitting and have felt progressively "smarter" or more "on point" each and every month since quitting. I was super "on point" before ever taking adderall and after taking adderall for about 2.5 years, and quitting for 11 months, I still feel less on point than I did before ever taking adderall. I really think it takes longer than a year as I have had more focus and "smart thoughts" during month 11 than month 10. If you're really trying to improve your brain, doing things that work your brain such as reading intellectual things helps a lot. Also, exercising and eating healthy really helps to clear up your head and help you think better. At 11 months, it's about rebuilding your brain naturally. Nothing you do will make increase the sharpness of your brain as instantaneously as adderall did, however, doing little things to help your brain day in and day out will improve it's efficiency over time. Also keep in mind, recovery is not a linear process and of course you will have days where it might "seem" like you're not making progress when in actuality it's just part of recovery. I hope this helps.
Dillon
Blesbro,
This is very helpful. It is nice to hear someone is in a situation very similar to myself. I have slowly been getting better but as you mention, there are days when I don't feel all there. If you don't mind me asking, how many mg were you prescribed daily? Also, how many days a week were you taking?
I have been trying to read more, play Lumosity games and exercise. I believe the natural way is the best way to recover. Surely over the course of the next 6-12 months, we should notice some gains back to our old cognitive situation.
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Hard work?
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So do you guys think that over time, our brain has the capability to overcome what damage was done to it?
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Does anyone else feel much dumber post Adderall? I catch myself constantly feeling dumb, stumbling over words, becoming slow to respond, etc. If so, does the feeling last forever?
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Sirpumpkin,
Thanks for the response. I agree 100% on the A&M v Bama game. I am really hoping it takes longer than a year to restore confidence and start feeling closer to 100%. I do feel better than 5 months ago but I have had chronic tension the past 9 months. It's been an awful experience. I think some of my feelings may be due to the headaches. Had everything done, Brain MRI Spine MRI, acupuncture, physical therapy, rest, etc. and can't find relief. Thanks for the advice. Looking forward to hearing if anyone has had similar experiences since I am new to the board.
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Hi,
I am now 11 months clean. I was a user for 2.5 years. Never OD'd or misused, just took 3-4x a week max. As you all know, at the time it was the greatest thing ever, however, I am having a hard time overcoming regret. I know this is normal for any aspect of life, but I can't stop thinking/worrying about the damage I did to my brain taking Adderall. Before I go any further, my life is in control. I just graduated with a business degree last December, have a good job, a fiancé, building a home, etc. The thing that really bothers me is I am constantly asking myself "is this normal?" regarding the way I feel. I have the thought that adderall permanently altered or damaged my brain. I could be blowing things way out of proportion, but not a day goes by that I don't think about possible damage adderall has done.
The feeling I experience is hard to describe, but to put it in a word I would say it is disorientation. I am hoping it is completely normal and I will get use to it. Other than a few minor things, I feel great. If anyone has this feeling or can relate to me in some manor, please share advice. This is something I have to work on myself but it helps to hear from people with familiar experience. Thanks!
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Sebastian,
I am 10 months clean today and very glad I found your post. I was prescribed and took Adderall for 2.5 years. I never OD'd, just took the recommended dose which I think it quite high (30-45mg). I would never take it more than 3-4x a week.
To make a long story short, I feel good for the most part minus the disorientation I have been dealing with. I constantly feel mild disorientation daily. No matter what I do, the disorientation grabs my attention. It is hard to explain. I feel as if everything around me is moving if that makes sense.
I hope and pray every day that I have not done any permanent brain damage. Neuros have told me that my dose wasn't high enough to cause harm but the disorientation has me worried. I would love to hear more responses of users who have been off for more than 6 months. Looking forward to hearing from everyone.
Permanent Brain/Other Damage?
in General Discussion
Posted
I am going on 18 months and wonder about this topic everyday.... Has anyone gotten back to a pre adderall mental state? I constantly feel like my brain is weak and damaged. Hoping there is potential in the future to be back close to 100%