[My journey - now four years off of Adderall]

Hi Freedom's Wings--

 

I feel probably about 85-95% of where I used to be depending on the day, but this is also hard for me to judge because I'm also just older now. I started on Adderall when I was 27 and now I'm 33. People just get older so I'm not sure how much of what I'm feeling is just no longer being in my 20's. But I feel good most days and some days I feel great. I've been told it takes the brain time to heal, some say even decades...so this could jsut be the beginning.

[My journey - now four years off of Adderall]

Hi all,

 

This is my first time posting, and really just wanted to share my experience in the hope that is can help some of you. Recovering from Adderall has probably been the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I’ve now been off of Adderall for 4 years now, and I feel great, and have found a new happy, and a new normal.

 

A bit of background: I basically was a work horse from high school, through college, and then into the workforce. I was on a constant hamster wheel of success and started to drink (mostly wine/beer) at nights to help me come down from high-stress days. This pretty much lead to a cycle of exhaustion and lack of focus. Lack of sleep and alcohol are a bad combination for the brain, calm and focus. I decided then to give Adderall a try. Like many of you, it was at first a godsend. I felt like I was in high school again and could work and focus for long hours without any problems. I became highly dependent and eventually addicted. I started at 10 mg but maxed out probably somewhere around 150-200 mg PER DAY! Yep, I was an Adderall junkie. I was on Adderall/Vyvanse for about 2 years. My body was basically telling me that I was going to die if I didn’t quit, so I came up with a plan to quit. So, here are a few pointers. Take what works for you and best of luck on your journey.

 

-- Come up with a plan. I think it’s pretty hard to quit Adderall cold turkey. So make a plan (something that Adderall is great at helping you to do!) to come off of it. For example, I basically started by reducing my dose a little bit each week, and not taking it on weekends. The weekends were hell, I admit—I didn’t even have energy to do dishes or get gas-but I somehow made it through. I didn’t come off of Adderall according to the plan I set, but it put me on the right track. I failed probably three times—thinking this will be my last one! But the commitment paid off. Become comfortable with just feeling tired.

 

-- Plan a work change/break or long vacation. Depending on who you are, how long you’ve been on Adderall, and how much you took, you are probably going to need a big break to let your body recuperate. How long? Each person is different, but think of it this way. In this world there is Yin and Yang, Night and Day, etc. Adderall keeps you on the “up†Yang side of life. You’ve been depleting your body of energy for a long time on this drug and now you have to go in the complete opposite direction—towards the yin. You need to sleep, nourish, lay around, watch tv, go on slow walks, do gentle yoga and basically be a slug. It’s the price you pay to get back into balance. I was in a position where my company got sold and I was able to take a good amount of time off. I know one guy who decided to keep working but he consciously communicated what he was going through with his firm. He decided to work on the IT help desk 20-25 hours a week in his new role, while he had previously been the firm’s top programmer. Big pay-cut but he adjusted and found new direction. Find what works for you, but provide the space and time for your body to heal.

 

-- Get help. Whether it’s rehab, friends, or just a good therapist, get a support network in place that knows about your commitment and 100% supports it. For me this was a therapist and some close friends.

 

-- Try acupuncture. New research is showing that it really does work to heal the body. It helped me remarkably, and the herbs that the acupuncturist prescribed me really helped my body rejuvenate and return to functioning at a more normal level.

 

-- Give up the belief that you will ever be as “on†as you were with Adderall—you were working/living at a heightened state provided by the drug that even 99% of most humans can’t do on a long term basis. Accept where you are with grace. It may hurt, you might cry, but start to become more comfortable with what is, vs. what you want it to be.

 

-- Surrender and let go. In retrospect a lot of my need for Adderall stemmed from a need to keep control of things. I grew up in a pretty unstable environment and was always scared about what would happen if I lost control. I realized coming off of Adderall that life is WAY bigger than we can ever imagine, that the love and support that we need will be there if we can somehow let it in. I had to let go of a lot of things—who I thought I was, what was important, a certain way of life, etc. But open your heart, and let life heal you. Whatever power you think there is in the Universe, start to have faith in something bigger than yourself that can help guide you through—because it will.

 

 

I know the road that many of you have walked, and the many ups and downs you have been on. Hoping you can somehow stay on the drug, then crashing and feeling miserable. The journey off of Adderall is one that takes the courage of your heart—but your heart is big enough to let go of the life you had in order for something bigger to be born. You can do it!