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jennablu

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Posts posted by jennablu

  2. I'm ready to stop thinking about it

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    You know what I think is interesting ~ pretty much EVERY PERSON on this board has mentioned that they were afraid of their sense of humor not coming back ~ just thought that was interesting! I guess we are all funny :D

    Sky, love your video 1989 ~ ha ;-) I thought I was the only one that will be talking to someone then just bust into song (random songs that nobody has ever heard)

  3. I'm ready to stop thinking about it

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I hear you ~ I felt that way too 'I'll never be funny without add, i'll never be creative, I'll never be charming, I can't do my job, people won't like me, nobody will want to date me' etc. etc. My biggest fear was that I wouldn't be funny or creative again - ever.

    I read somewhere to just keep moving and eventually feeling would come back! That is what I did at first ~ just moved ~ then that turned into moving with intent ~ then intent turned into more work and meaningful relationships! It is hard sometimes when we compare what we did when we were 'good' on add to our new 'normal' selfs - but think about what we did when we were 'bad' on add ~ I know I did some shitty things!

    I really do think everything gets back to normal - and maybe even better then when you were on adds. I feel like I am more of a whole person now, someone capable of real relationships! I knew I just had to let it go - i knew that I would be a different person off of add then on add ~ and I'm actually finding out I like the person I am becoming! Crazy huh!

    I wish you luck in your journey!!

    Jenna

  4. Anyone suffer from insomnia after quitting??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Jennablu - hey, hope you're doing well.. I read that you believe sam-E was the culprit of your insomnia - good job! I am quiting over winter break and am thinking about buying some myself ... how has it worked for you in terms of combating the withdrawal from adderall? Also **if you find yourself still struggling with insomnia ever - get some KAVA tea.** it's made by Yogi and they have a bunch of different kinds - but get the one that says "stress relief" but make sure it says Kava! It's honestly the best ever. I don't really believe in all of the other "stress relief" and "calming / soothing" teas like chamomile and whatever else - but Kava...I swear by it! Look it up for the background info (its actually illegal in a lot of countries) but not the US...i just wouldnt recommend drinking 5 cups a night. But I drink it when I think I might have trouble falling asleep and it completely relaxes me and makes me ready to fall right asleep. Good luck!

    Hey Nosleep, I didn't take the Sam e until my third week of quitting, so not sure if it helped with the withdraw. After trying to quit at least 4 times I learned that NOTHING was going to make me feel like adds. Unfortunately I think withdrawal is just something you have to go through. I think you have to feel the worst low to appreciate what a 'normal' feeling is like - does that make sense. A lot of recovering from adderal is re-leanring what it is like to feel 'normal'. It took me 4 tries before I got past the 3 week period ~ now i'm in my 5th week and I know I will never take it again because I never want to feel the low of quitting again.

    My depression had gotten pretty bad around week 3 which is why I took the sam e ~ it helped at first but the headache was brutal. I have heard really good things about it though - I read that it is a prescription drug in other countries - I just think it is tricky to get the dose right.

    Good luck!!

  5. Anyone suffer from insomnia after quitting??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Goodness, I don't think I could have hung with either of you during your party days :-) :o

    Falcon, I spent a ridicules amount of money on add too! I have a daughter and struggle with some guilt over my 'addy' days! Just hang in there Falcon! When I feel overwhelmed I always try to look at what I have accomplished ~ and you have accomplished something HUGE ~by quitting! Aren't you like 5 or 6 weeks out?!? That is amazing! When you feel down think about that! ;)

    I'm lucky and so grateful that I have an amazing 'friend' that I can talk to about all this and he has been very supportive and helped me with this journey ~ but it has not always been easy ~ that is for sure!

    I think the Sam E was the culprit! It made me feel much better for the first 3 or 4 days but the headaches and lack of sleep just were not worth it! Hopefully you boys will have better luck. I cut out the Sam-E about 4 days ago and this morning I woke up headache free for the first time in about a week! Feels good - headaches are brutal! I did my rounds at the Dr.'s office yesterday and I think they took samples of every liquid in my body (blood, urine, tears etc.) ~ If everything comes back 'normal', I am just going to blame it on the Sam -E!

    Glad your doing so well Sky!! And yes, always take your vitamins with a ton of water!!!

    Staying in theme ~ here is my Beatles song that has even less relevance then sky's! Ha ha

  7. Anyone suffer from insomnia after quitting??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Thanks Falcon, how are you doing??

    Oh I know the dr. will just send me off with xanex :o - Believe it or not, I could take or leave anything other then addy's! And I sure as heck do not plan on getting hooked on something else. I'm a bit nervous because I have been getting really bad headaches too - so I just want to see what they say.

    I think you are right on the naps! It is just so hard to cut them out and I work from home - so the bed calls to me!! I am trying different teas! I need to find a way to slow down my mind that just decides to start racing through everything at 2 AM! Thanks for the song too!

    I have been taking Sam-E and it makes me feel great during the day - but I'm wondering if that is the culprit?!?!? Any experience with that?

  8. Anyone suffer from insomnia after quitting??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    I know everyone is fatigued so it sounds crazy to not be able to sleep but I'm really struggling with this! For the first 2 - 3 weeks I could fall asleep while walking! Now - I still get really tired and can nap - but only for like an hour and I pop up! I fall asleep quickly but wake up EVERY night around 2 AM and sometimes never fall back to sleep?!?!?

    Plus I have a major headache, which can be lack of sleep - I don't know!

    I'm just a bundle of fun - huh :-)

    I am going to the DR. Monday and overall I have felt pretty good! You know it isn't all rainbows but at least I am moving forward! Working-out again, engaging with friends again, feeling stuff again (other then sadness), working again - just not sleeping!

    Thanks for any help :-)

    Jenna

  9. How to Wake Up and Live

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Hey beautiful Disaster,

    I was like you about 6 months ago. I would quit ~ then start again ~ then quit. It took me a long time to realize how it was negatively effecting my life. I truly and honestly did not think I had a problem even though I was taking double to triple my dose! It sounds so cliche ~ but admitting, to myself, that I had a problem was the first step!

    I was scared to death about telling my mom ~ but I could not have done this without her. She was disappointed but so supportive!

    You will get to the point where there is more bad then good. For me, I had to quit cold turkey! Sober I would tell myself 'I'll just take my dose, 40 mg etc.' then next thing you know I had taken my whole bottle in less then a week.

    Hang in there!

    • Like 1

  10. Depression Hurts

    in Announcements

    Posted

    Sorry Falcon! It does suck - people who have never suffered from 'true' depression, which can seep up from anywhere at any time, really have no idea! I really have nothing to say that will help except I have been there - and it does fade a bit! Yes get out of the house - run - that helps me with my anger (and might save the TV ;-) When I'm down that low - I just make myself walk or run and sweat till it hurts a little less!!

    Hang in there!! Let us know how you do!

  12. When will I be able to read again??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Ha ha Ashley, I had to read it 3 times before I replied! You can tell by my long reply response that I needed a nap afterwards ;-) At least my sense of humor is coming back - slowly! 5 days ago I wouldn't have gotten that you were joking - so sad!

    Thanks to everyone for the support - is it time for another nap yet??

    • Like 1

  15. I thought I was super mom. Um. No.

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Hey chelle,

    Ya, I gained 25 lb's already ~ but I did need to gain some weight. I had wasted away to a size 2 and I am not someone who should be a size 2 - i'm 5'6 ish. I feel better now - just don't want to gain anymore then another 5 or so. PLUS you get to go shopping.

    Ihear you - I could barley get out of bed at 1:30 to go get my baby from school the first week. The L-thysoine helps a ton!! Just got some Sam-e today, I have good hopes for it ~ we will see! tommrow is a month for me too!!

  17. When will I be able to read again??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Thanks guys! I always struggled with reading (prob. real ADHD) like getting tired soon after I started, or not retaining things but I did make it thru school ~ hee hee ;-)

    I just can't read anything that is more then a quick paragraph. I get overwhelmed and super stressed and find myself popping up and wandering around.

    Falcon ~ I was taking A LOT towards the end. probably at least 100mg a day (if not more). On it for 4 sold years - by year 2 taking 2 prescriptions and by year 3 buying from people plus taking my two prescriptions and it still wasn't enough.

    Off almost a month.

  18. When will I be able to read again??

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    You know ~ like get through a whole paragraph of a book etc.??? UGH, one of the things I loved about add was my ability to breeze through editing books etc. (I'm a photographer). Now I can barley read one tutorial and nothing really makes much sense or sticks.

    I'm scared that I may never be able to produce good work again :-( (yes, I am a bit dramatic - but this is my biggest fear)!!

  20. I thought I was super mom. Um. No.

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Hey Chelle,

    I can relate to your story! I started taking this as a mom as well. For me, the first two weeks were the worse (I'm on my 3rd try in 3 months). I'm almost to a month and the suicidal thoughts have finally drifted away!

    What has helped me is celebrating the things I get done (no matter how small) instead of the things I don't! Like 'I made it all day without napping' OR I cleaned the kitchen for the first time off adderall and it SUCKED ASS but I got it done!!

    Hang in there!

  22. 3 weeks out ~ Seriously the hardest thing I have done!

    in General Discussion

    Posted

    Hey guys,

    I have browsed here for a bit now and am happy to say I am 3 weeks off add's! I NEVER, EVER, EVER thought that quitting would be so stiken hard!

    After hitting 30 with no addictions other then caffeine, I pretty much thought I had made it ~ ya know :-) Unfortunately (and ironically) I was prescribed add's on my 30th b-day and instantly feel madly in-love with aderall!

    This forum has helped me a ton! I just wanted to introduce myself because I'm sure you all will be hearing from me a lot more :-)

    Jenna!!

    • Like 1
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