Craythur

Mr. No personality

39 posts in this topic

. Ive been up for 21 straight hours after sleeping for 23? On this stuff for five straight years give or take. xr 20s. Woke up tired, late for work. Didnt care. Got my assignment, popped a 20, worked on ten different things...all poorly. People went to break, didnt ask me to go cuz they know i say no. Went to work on "creative" presentation that was the result of a major fuckup on my part. People came back, and i felt ashamed and distracted that they would see me obsessing over the smallest detail of page 1. I retirned to my mundane busy work, and felt more comfortable. Mouth was dry so I got an iced coffee with a shot of espresso, and popped another 20. Now I was a work animal. I could do any stupid thing fearlessly and probably badly. Then it wore off less than hour later. And I was a bum. People were rapping about life all around me. I couldnt even open my mouth. They didnt notice. Its been so long. I thought, " what has happened to me?" I used to talk and care and yes procrastinate and flake, but I was fun. And I laughed and I broke balls, and my work was fine. Now im a fucking zombie on speed. Im quitting. Pray for me.

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Hi, Crayathur. I am sorry to hear you are struggling right now. I will say a prayer for you. You CAN do this my friend!

Hugs,

Liltex

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. Ive been up for 21 straight hours after sleeping for 23? On this stuff for five straight years give or take. xr 20s. Woke up tired, late for work. Didnt care. Got my assignment, popped a 20, worked on ten different things...all poorly. People went to break, didnt ask me to go cuz they know i say no. Went to work on "creative" presentation that was the result of a major fuckup on my part. People came back, and i felt ashamed and distracted that they would see me obsessing over the smallest detail of page 1. I retirned to my mundane busy work, and felt more comfortable. Mouth was dry so I got an iced coffee with a shot of espresso, and popped another 20. Now I was a work animal. I could do any stupid thing fearlessly and probably badly. Then it wore off less than hour later. And I was a bum. People were rapping about life all around me. I couldnt even open my mouth. They didnt notice. Its been so long. I thought, " what has happened to me?" I used to talk and care and yes procrastinate and flake, but I was fun. And I laughed and I broke balls, and my work was fine. Now im a fucking zombie on speed. Im quitting. Pray for me.

I can relate completely..

I was addicted to the XR's, I would honestly fear the comedown so much that I would pop about 4 or 5 throughout the day.

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Crathur,

Sounds like you really need to quit. When and how do you plan to quit using adderall? You have my support and encouragement. Good Luck!

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Crathur,

Sounds like you really need to quit. When and how do you plan to quit using adderall? You have my support and encouragement. Good Luck!

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I didnt sleep a fucking wink, and I was late for work again today. I havent poured any 20s down my throat though. Im just suffering, sweating through the day. Like a bad hangover, but i feel human. Good lookin out.

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When you come to the realization that adderall is draining your soul and no longer allowing you to be happy, that's a big turning point. I'm glad you came here. Keep posting. It's like having your own little cheerleaders...we've been through it and will support your newfound sobriety. Hang in there, hour by hour, minute by minute. Congratulations on the big step!

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Adderall basically turns us into robots just like your post title indicates.

Glad you are transitioning back to 'human' again! Keep it up!! We're rooting for you.

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Adderall basically turns us into robots just like your post title indicates.

Glad you are transitioning back to 'human' again! Keep it up!! We're rooting for you.

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Man, im dying to pop one today, but I wont. I am dragging ass today. Gonna get a coffee and fresh air instead. Just for the record, I was laughing all day yesterday. Granted, i was over-tired as hell, but it was still better than a stone face and eyes bugging out.

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Hi, welcome to the forums. Sounds like you want to give up and you're going through a tough time. I am sure you've experienced life coming off adderall before, so you know the worst is yet to come (sorry, just the truth). Do you have enough time and resources around you to be able to support you through at least the next few weeks? How serious are you on quitting? It's going to be a rough road - adderall is a serious drug and you're seriously addicted. Just want to make sure you set yourself up for success!

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. Ive been up for 21 straight hours after sleeping for 23? On this stuff for five straight years give or take. xr 20s. Woke up tired, late for work. Didnt care. Got my assignment, popped a 20, worked on ten different things...all poorly. People went to break, didnt ask me to go cuz they know i say no. Went to work on "creative" presentation that was the result of a major fuckup on my part. People came back, and i felt ashamed and distracted that they would see me obsessing over the smallest detail of page 1. I retirned to my mundane busy work, and felt more comfortable. Mouth was dry so I got an iced coffee with a shot of espresso, and popped another 20. Now I was a work animal. I could do any stupid thing fearlessly and probably badly. Then it wore off less than hour later. And I was a bum. People were rapping about life all around me. I couldnt even open my mouth. They didnt notice. Its been so long. I thought, " what has happened to me?" I used to talk and care and yes procrastinate and flake, but I was fun. And I laughed and I broke balls, and my work was fine. Now im a fucking zombie on speed. Im quitting. Pray for me.

GETTTT ITT CRAYTHUR!!!!!!

You know what you ultimately want and need to do! There will be a lot to deal with and it's not gonna be easy. But if you have the desire you seem to be expressing here, then you've got this!

There is a better life waiting for you!!!

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GETTTT ITT CRAYTHUR!!!!!!

You know what you ultimately want and need to do! There will be a lot to deal with and it's not gonna be easy. But if you have the desire you seem to be expressing here, then you've got this!

There is a better life waiting for you!!!

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I'm still good, thanks. I've been sleeping terrible at night and sweating profusely during the day. I must have maxed out my adrenal glands on that shit for so long. I have an appt to see my shrink where I get my scripts for XRs. I know I shouldn't go, but the dare I say addict in me wouldnt miss it. Its the only appt. I ever keep.

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So do you plan to refill your script? Or will you tell him you are done with adderall?

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I have a bundle stashed already, but yes I want to fill the script. Why? Because I will want them again even though they drain my soul out of my pores. And they are slightly difficult to get unless you doctor shop. All the junkies sell em for Heroin.

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It doesn't sound like you're nearly ready to quit and that's sad to me, but only you can make that decision. Is the hell that you've been feeling the past few days any indication as to what this drug is doing to you, if that's what happens when you don't take it? I sincerely hope you come to a place when you realize life abusing adderall really isn't life at all.

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It doesn't sound like you're nearly ready to quit and that's sad to me, but only you can make that decision. Is the hell that you've been feeling the past few days any indication as to what this drug is doing to you, if that's what happens when you don't take it? I sincerely hope you come to a place when you realize life abusing adderall really isn't life at all.

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I have a bundle stashed already, but yes I want to fill the script. Why? Because I will want them again even though they drain my soul out of my pores. And they are slightly difficult to get unless you doctor shop. All the junkies sell em for Heroin.

How do you define quitting, Craythur?

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I am quitting, and havent partied in 4 days now. I just want insurance in case I need it for what I was supposed to take it for in the first place....to pay attention in meetings, seminars, trainings. My problem was that I was taking it every 4 hours of everyday for nothing or to just be a lunatic.

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Crayarthur,

It doesn't work that way. Once you've crossed the line into addiction, the drug can no longer be used as it's supposed to. Ask any of us here. I think we've probably all tried at one time or another to "take as prescribed." after abusing. It's quitting or addiction.

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Crayarthur,

It doesn't work that way. Once you've crossed the line into addiction, the drug can no longer be used as it's supposed to. Ask any of us here. I think we've probably all tried at one time or another to "take as prescribed." after abusing. It's quitting or addiction.

It is the truth. As much as I detest ultimatums, "either / or"; and "black and white" viewpoints, I must accept the reality of this truth if I want to beat my addiction for good. Let me repeat this simple truth:

Once you have crossed over the line from casual/recreational/prescribed usage into addiction, there is no return to casual/recreational/prescribed usage without the return of the addiction.

I am still waiting to hear from anybody who has recovered from an addiction that believes otherwise. An adderall addiction is a lifetime affliction.

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It is the truth. As much as I detest ultimatums, "either / or"; and "black and white" viewpoints, I must accept the reality of this truth if I want to beat my addiction for good. Let me repeat this simple truth:

Once you have crossed over the line from casual/recreational/prescribed usage into addiction, there is no return to casual/recreational/prescribed usage without the return of the addiction.

I am still waiting to hear from anybody who has recovered from an addiction that believes otherwise. An adderall addiction is a lifetime affliction.

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Well stated. I understand you know the truth. I am just having a tough time letting go of that script. As many of you know, some of these controlled substances are like currency and they are good to have for "rainy days". 4 days and I feel fine.

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Well stated. I understand you know the truth. I am just having a tough time letting go of that script. As many of you know, some of these controlled substances are like currency and they are good to have for "rainy days". 4 days and I feel fine.

You don't even need it to pay attention in meetings. I know where you are coming from, you should be taking it for instances where it can be beneficial, the psychology of this drug makes you think you need it for anything that is mildly important. But the truth is you can pay attention in a meeting or lecture or seminar without it. Just do what regular people do. They go to a meeting without adderall. They sit there and they listen. That's it.

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