Frank B

Month plus still hate my lazy ass!

34 posts in this topic

So welcome to my world a fucked up mess.

Everyone's life is a big hot mess in one way or another don't let anyone tell you differently.  You have really high standards and that is a double edged sword.  Do you and your significant other ever have "date" nights?  It sounds like you both have a ton going on and are two people just living in the same space instead of being two people doing life together and supporting each other.  Sorry if that is incorrect or sounds judgemental; that is not my intent.  I'm just suggesting reconnecting with her; you liked each other at some point.

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Thanks for the inputs and basically letting me tell myself the underlining problems why I started to abuse this prescription, but from what I see even if you take this as prescribed it's still just a bad option for your mind & body. I know everyone's life isn't perfect hell divorce rates are what 70% these days exactly why I'm in a long term engagement of 4 years just easier to say 'my wife'. I'm not one to risk all I worked for to lose it in a divorce and she knows that. I'm very much a realist and will not get caught up in my feelings to make a possible life altering error. So in general pretty raw and blunt to the point kind of guy just imagine me on adderall lol.

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Frank, I feel for you.  When I read what you are saying it sounds like you feel like you are backed in a corner and thinking that you will never be healed and you've always been inclined to use speed.  I used this for 5 years at a rate of 60-70mg per day so my dosage isn't that outrageous.  But I did feel that I was beginning to not feel the benefits of productivity and recognized the pull back I was doing in my relationships.  I've been off two weeks and tonight I'm tired.  But throughout these two weeks after weening down for a couple weeks I feel pretty good.  Today I had two big coffees so I'm still using a stimulant to get me through the day.  

 

What bothers me about this drug is I didn't want to be zoning in on work and zoning out on what is important (my family ---wife, daughter, parents, friends, siblings), all because I was a slave to this stupid drug.  I know some people on here have read and know I was prayed for in the name of Jesus before I quit while weening down and that was a big help I believe.  

 

You will think I"m a religious nut perhaps when I tell you this because most people do.  But I don't go to church and most people that do go to church I know think I'm a complete reprobate.  So I'm telling you straight up people get prayed for and healed.  I've experienced it first hand and I have done this on other people and they have experienced recovery.  You are welcome to contact me via Skype and I'll talk to you and help you.  I'm not soliciting money nor will I take any if you offer.  I'm not looking for followers or the joining any church religion.  I simply would like to help anyone that is desperate for deliverance from this evil drug and the damages it has done in your life.  I'm a former whore mongering, drunkard, thief, and murderer.  So I've had a rough past, but I"m clean of everything now.  The last thing was adderall.  There's hope for anyone that will seek it.  I can be contacted via Skype: michael.king500

 

Be blessed,

 

MIchael King

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Hey Frank and welcome. I'm not sure if I have spoken to you in any of the chats yet. I was on the meds for 7 years as well and 70-something days clean now.

After reading this convo, you keep comparing yourself to how you were and what you did while on Adderall and if you want to stay clean -- you can't keep doing that. You need to look at Adderall has the devil it is and not as what made you do all these wonderful things. Fuck, I graduated college and started a business on Adderall but I don't ever want to take that shit ever again. And I would have been just as successful, maybe even more without it.

 

 

 

SweetCarolinee, I love that you say you would be as successful or more without adderall.  It is so true, but I somehow don't see that attitude with those that I've read about just quitting (including myself).  That is an eye opener to really know that adderall is not a benefit in the long run although it does give early signs of a power drug.  Adderall is a deceptive shortcut.  :blink:

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life. I'm a former whore mongering, drunkard, thief, and murderer. So I've had a rough past, but I"m clean of everything now. The last thing was adderall.

I've slept with a whore or two in my younger days that's the most honest sex you can have with a woman while single cuts to the chase. Been drunk a lot also while younger never really stole much besides as a kid and never put a cap in someone came close but was for protecting my family long story. Prayer by all accounts in the scientific community does work even atheists must take those findings to account now rather a big man with a white beard grants your wish or the combination of multiple brains and positive thoughts engaged with others plays a significant role in the outlay of what becomes real might be true also. I grew up catholic a religion that still dresses like the 14th century it's outdated and very boring. One thing is funny they tell kids now at catholic schools it's ok to believe the Darwin theory and Big Bang.. Umm sorry folks if you truly believe that throw your bibles out the window. Anyways life's crazy look at that plane that disappeared wtf and today it seems society all has ADHD big events pop up that scream hey powers of this world or universe is doing things and we will move on next week to some Justin Berber headline just ignorance.

I'm not saying that im against religion but I'm against anyone telling me I must believe what they do or burn in hell you know fuck you what gives you that right? Also beliefs in your religion alone gives people self justice to slam a damn plane into a building you gotta take each religion with a grain of salt until god has a Facebook page and tells us which religion is the correct one. It just gets on my nerves the born agains especially so the billions who lived before Jesus who died went straight to hell I guess? All the people around the world who didn't know Jesus because words did not travel fast until the last century they all burned in hell young old whatever you just die and god sends you to a place worse than a Hitler death camp because you did not kneel before him enough and praise Jesus really if god is that cold hearted we are all fucked saved or unsaved. If Jesus was alive today the same conservative uptight people who worship him would say he is damn hippie liberal and is dangers to America and should be arrested and thrown in jail or killed in the electric chair. Just think if Jesus happened now instead of then we would all have electric chair jewelry and tattoos. But anyways glad it worked for you prayer does help regardless of beliefs. My second week off addy was fine after a month it's a real challenge.

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Frank,

Maybe it's the fact that emotions don't translate well in written communications, but some of your posts come off angry. It may do you well to talk to a therapist if you have a short fuse.

You make some valid points and I agree with your view that Darwinism is incompatible with the Bible. I won't debate Christianity with you but I will say that Jesus went around loving people and that is what I aspire to do also.

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Justin, yeah i got some anger thought quitting would chill me out I don't think it has because all the issues in the world that makes me angry come up into play more now vs when I'm on addy I'm to focused on work so I store that anger and emotions deep down inside which we all know is best... For a stroke. I'm not knocking anyone's beliefs if it does good for you and others great if it makes you think it's ok to bash other religions, make you feel better than others, feel gays are subhuman sinners going to burn in hell etc then not so great. I'm pretty much at fault for all my errors I'm gonna actually talk with a counselor to see what routes best to work out my problems as for addy my feelings on it go like so.

We been dancin' with

Mr. Adderall

He's been knockin'

He won't leave me alone

I used ta do a little

but a little wouldn't do

So the little got more and more

I just keep tryin'

ta get a little better

Said a little better than before

I used ta do a little

but a little wouldn't do

So the little got more and more

I just keep tryin'

ta get a little better

Said a little better than before

- well not exactly what GNR was referring to but feelings the same.

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I didn't take offense to your assessment of organized religion because it wasn't aimed at me or anyone in specific; I was just clarifying my position.  I'm here to help and it's not our place to judge anyone but ourselves.  I'm glad to hear that you are going to talk with someone because that is a much better alternative than a stroke.

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