Interleukin6 Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 I want to quit Adderall. I have taken it almost daily for 5 years. Sometimes getting up to 120 mg a day. It started when I had a roommate who was late on rent and gave me 10 pills to pay her late fees. I loved it, I was so happy, I lost weight quickly, my grades went up, my house was always clean, my social anxiety decreased. Many things have gone on since then, I did eventually get my own prescription, sometimes still bought from her too, had another doctor giving me vyvanse at the same time. I decided to pursue my love for science and I am currently in a PhD program. I am going onto my third term next week and I have yet to pass a class (B or above), I am on academic probation, and I cannot get myself together, organized or calm. I feel like I can’t remember anything, like the people around me can remember everything that is said, and they all do so well when asked questions, etc. Does Adderall abuse affect memory? It seems like the excessive abuse of stimulants during college worked because all I needed to do was spend time with the material. Study for hours and hours and hours, trigger that part of my brain on some multiple-choice exam and recognize the answers. Although I feel like blaming the Adderall, it has been my only ally and friend. What got me here in the first place. I have a prescription now, and once I told my doctor (who is out of state and has phone appointments with me- since no doctors would prescribe stimulants to me when I moved for school) that I failed classes she doubled my dosage. I am abusing for sure, I am scared of the withdrawals and unsure how to move forward. Thank you for listening. I have never told anyone about my addiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interleukin6 Posted March 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 oops sorry meant to put this in telling your story... see what i mean about being all over the place! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 It sounds to me like you have reached the point where adderall is no longer effective and the quality of your work on adderall sucks; is that enough of a motivator for you? You can quit when you set your mind to it and are determined to never go back down that road. Welcome to the forum! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post quit-once Posted March 27, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Does Adderall abuse affect memory? . HELL YES IT DOES! It also affected all of my higher cognitive functions including decision making, reasoning and learning. My memory was the last thing to recover from years of abuse, and it still isn't where I want it to be. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BeHereNow Posted March 27, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 I want to quit Adderall. I have taken it almost daily for 5 years. Sometimes getting up to 120 mg a day. It started when I had a roommate who was late on rent and gave me 10 pills to pay her late fees. I loved it, I was so happy, I lost weight quickly, my grades went up, my house was always clean, my social anxiety decreased. Many things have gone on since then, I did eventually get my own prescription, sometimes still bought from her too, had another doctor giving me vyvanse at the same time. I decided to pursue my love for science and I am currently in a PhD program. I am going onto my third term next week and I have yet to pass a class (B or above), I am on academic probation, and I cannot get myself together, organized or calm. I feel like I can’t remember anything, like the people around me can remember everything that is said, and they all do so well when asked questions, etc. Does Adderall abuse affect memory? It seems like the excessive abuse of stimulants during college worked because all I needed to do was spend time with the material. Study for hours and hours and hours, trigger that part of my brain on some multiple-choice exam and recognize the answers. Although I feel like blaming the Adderall, it has been my only ally and friend. What got me here in the first place. I have a prescription now, and once I told my doctor (who is out of state and has phone appointments with me- since no doctors would prescribe stimulants to me when I moved for school) that I failed classes she doubled my dosage. I am abusing for sure, I am scared of the withdrawals and unsure how to move forward. Thank you for listening. I have never told anyone about my addiction. Hi and welcome! It sounds like you need to quit now. Adderall works for awhile, but if you abuse it (and maybe even if you don't), it stops working eventually. It has a law of diminishing returns where it starts to become actually counter-productive. Adderall has stopped working for you and from here on out, you can only continue to get diminishing returns. It is no longer your ally. It is not a friend. It is undermining you, your work, and your future. I hate to be harsh, but that's the pattern adderall abuse generally follows. I'm a grad student too so I definitely understand how scary it is to quit. In hindsight, my final months before quitting were some of the worst for me in school. I was taking incompletes in most of my classes because I couldn't even get a paper together. My grades suffered. My mind was an idea-salad and my ADD was actually getting worse. At the end, I actually spent more time thinking about when I could take the next pill than I spent thinking about my work! I was late for EVERYTHING, horribly antisocial, and when I read my old papers from that time, I basically sound like a tweaked out disorganized robot. Quitting has been so hard, but so worth it. It also made my GPA go up and I became more coherent again. There are others on here who have had similar results from quitting. I hope you quit. I hope you stick around. Feel free to message me and/or post away on here as you figure out your next steps 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 im quitting literally right now (today). my last dose was 2:15 hrs ago; feeling tired/ hungry/ and little anxious at the same time if this makes sense. i will post daily updates on my status to shine light and hope among everyone. we can fight this beast; we can overcome and rejuverinate our old selves. it's a mirage, don't be fool yourself anymore with (insert excuse here); i'm going to make the change right now; i choose no more adderall! -hope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 feeling real tired; loss of confidence, extremely scared/worried how Im going to react tomorrow; anxious; feel like shit; super laggy; gonna sleep til i wake up; never giving iback to beast. like 3+hrs since last final dose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 It sounds like you might benefit from some relaxation and meditation techniques to get you calmed down. RELAX! Congratulations on your decision to quit; you can do it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 thanks ; so just woke up feeling thirsty; headache and still tired; going to chug some h20.watch some tv; still think the adderall is in my blood from yesterday so full withdrawal symptoms aren't felt yet, but im not going to quit. im going to beat this beast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 A positive mental attitude will take you a long way! I believe the half life of adderall is around 4 - 5 days so it is definitely still in your bloodstream. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted March 30, 2014 Report Share Posted March 30, 2014 Thanks JustinW: i feel discombobulated (no work or school for the next week (i took sick leave) ) I've literally planned for this "escape". keeping the work load to a bare minimum and being super lazy; i had breakfast (bowl of cereal) told my brother to get me some vegetables/fruits from the market; gonna start inner cleansing as well; for most part; pretty much body aches/headaches/ light is blinding so I have lights off tv on just chilling. the urge to take adderall isn't there yet; and i don't even feel like taking it. be strong readers; and I promise u i will! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm continuing the day, slept much of it. Woke up hungry thirsty; body aches, headache; feelings of lost self-confidence; feeling cold (i guess i was always hyped up to feel cold; its like rain/snowing here). feel pretty lousy; won't lie. watching tv/gonna try and shower / relax. not giving up.....never giving up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 I'm glad that you are keeping close to the forum for support. We are here for you and you are kicking butt...you've got this! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Feel pretty zoned out. Like my head is “onâ€, but my body is “offâ€. Everything is like a daunting task; from simply just getting out of bed to getting dressed. I feel a total loss of self-confidence, very tired, my head hurts, my body hurts, sweating a little; thirsty; hungry;, just feel like crap. I feel my “brain†like slowed down; random thoughts of how I started using adderall til now replay in my head. Isn’t this just like systematic meth in a prescription bottle? =/ not giving up ever! Going to continue to relax; sleep ttyl 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 Good plan for relaxation and sleep. You gave yourself a big advantage by taking time off work to get through this first little bit. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 woke up; again similar feelings to last night/yesterday. its not that hard to fight the urge when you have nothing critical to do.. but gotta say still feel like the real withdrawls are coming up next few nights as i near the end of the half life of adderall in my blood. being strong. getting thru it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freebird Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 HANG IN THERE!!! if I can do if I KNOW you are anyone else can!!! seriously.... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 im hanging in there! wanted to honestly expose the truth of the withdrawal cycle for readers. so right now; i feel like total crap; extremely low; like i am a business major; and I wouldn't feel confident in even doing a simple assignment or assessment of something. I don't feel like myself (than again perhaps this "self" was make-bevel?: As well; intense body pain; headache; emotional pain I guess; sleeping a ton. been drinking eating rather healthy; just watch + juices; no caffeine or sodas. well ill continue to keep u posted. not giving up!! thanks for the support Robin+JustwinW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 make-believe, water + juices* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted April 2, 2014 Report Share Posted April 2, 2014 Another fellow business major, graduate or undergraduate? The early stages of recovery suck and it's great that you are being honest about it! I believe that it is healthy and will help you process what is happening with your mind and body. You are making great strides even though it may not feel like it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted April 3, 2014 Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 undergrad he-he well at this moment, similar feelings of yesterday. A shower/restroom beak really does make the difference. I also realized diet is critical; and as tired and brain dead as I am I going to put my running shoes on and go for a "steady" walk on my treadmill. I still can't really feel "emotion" if that makes sense, but some of my favorite songs really "make me wanna move" still; so im using that to get in some movment; which will be followed by sleeping most likely. Either way a little moving a day can't hurt. I want people to know my intake is 2x vitamin fish oil tablets + many vitamin tablets (all natural vitamins); a green tea with fresh squeeze lemon and honey (that's my secret drink ) i still feel the emtional strains I did the day before; but I become numb to its constrainits today atleast; and will go for a nice walk I tend to sleep afterward so expect a msg from me again tmrrw; thnaks all be strong and thank u for the support; were going to beat this thing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted April 3, 2014 Report Share Posted April 3, 2014 Sounds like a great plan, any movement is a good thing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted April 4, 2014 Report Share Posted April 4, 2014 Unfortunately I couldn't measure to yesterdays activity level; but I did spend the day doing chores; cleaning the house; taking care of my cats; doing laundry. I figured keep my hands busy. for the most part; extreme loss of self-confidence, contintious self-worry; very anxsious; tired; strung-out; a bit releifed though.. I want to feel this because I haven't felt this pain in so long and I know following pain is pleasure (reality)I'm going to keep active; eat proepr; and keep my readers / my support crew up to date; We can do this guys 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GDTRFB Posted April 4, 2014 Report Share Posted April 4, 2014 Way to go CMLT! How many days has it been for you? You might want to start posting in the 30 day challenge. It really helped me out, a lot. I made it 30 days today with the support of the kind people of this community! Keep up the good work! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChangingMyLifeToday Posted April 5, 2014 Report Share Posted April 5, 2014 hey thanks GDTRFB haha 30 day challenge? i just wanted to broadcast to readers what im going thru; didnt know there were contests that'd be cool for support. so at this phase im a sweating a lot more than usual (typically when sleeping). I have some vivdid dreams that cause me to wake up and sit for a bit before sleeping. I am tired, and "slow" during the day. I sleep a lot; appieite has increased; i try to do some form of exercise a day to keep from going crazy mentally (thats where the most pain is ) rather than physical. well i am typing this in bed , sorry got the grammar errors; planninh on sleeping and going for a jog tmrrw...or a steady walk will keep u posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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