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oswhid

reality vs addereality question

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I've seen quite a few up you mock yourselves about how "awesome" you thought you were when you were using only to look back and discover you were only a legend in your own mind.

My question is when did you make the transition from  romanticizing your abilities to facing that what you did while on adderall wasn't all that special after all?   Was it after a certain amount of time had passed or was it when you read or saw something you had done and realized that it wasn't so awesome after all?  Or both?

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When i first quit i thought that i would never be able to do the same things that i did on adderall, like work efficiently at my job and hold conversations with others.

Well, after maybe 6 months into the quit i realized that i actually work better when i am sober. I don't hyper focus on stupid shit. 

And i also speak when it is warranted or if i have something interesting to say, not just to go yapping on and on about whatever i was thinking.

I probably came off as super annoying. And most of my friends told me they thought i was high on something when i was using. That i was 'strung out' or 'too hyper' 

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My communication skills and ability to work problems out with people were horrible. My technical skills ability to focus on very tedious task and problem solving was on a level I know that I really can't achieve off adderal. However that mental edge did little to help me make a better living it was used more on side projects as something to brag about "look what I accomplished". Now I will say if I work 8 hrs and know I have a few more jobs to finish I sometimes think "Boy on adderal I would not be so physically drained." But I know that I can do it off adderall I just need to break and get a little food to continue on.

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