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Sunnie

9 months clean

2 posts in this topic

Fuck yeah. 

What a freaking trip this year has been so far. Getting to know myself, owning my story, welcoming my pain and meeting my grief. 2017 has been the slowest yet most transformative year. In some ways i can compare it to waking up feeling all slow and groggy, trying to piece myself together and trying to sort out what-the-hell-just-happened, after a long hard sleep. Its been a rollercoaster of getting reaquainted with myself and normal human emotions, feeling giddy and excited greeting my quirks and the hidden parts of myself like an old nearly forgotten friend and thanking them for finally showing up to the party. 

From the outside and to the rest of the world my achievements this year may not look so noble. I sure as hell know its not the kind of accomplishments i once hoped for myself at my age. But it feels like the bravest thing i've ever done.

I guess what i really want to say to anyone whos reading this and mustering up the courage to quit and reclaim their lives from addiction is as following. Theres no quick fix. Youve gotta face the storm head on. Learn to fully accept and forgive yourself and you'll be free ( this parts an ongoing practice, probably to be continued for the rest of my life). Dont be afraid to ask for help. And if you are afraid, its ok, just do it anyways. Dont listen to the negative stories youre telling yourself. The only truth that is really relevant is that you are unique, valuable, worthy and absolutely beautiful.  

Much love.

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