After 15 years on Adderall/Vyvanse, it is time to call it quits!

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It’s 5am and I have not been able to go to sleep just thinking about what awaits for me the next couple of weeks and months. I know it will be hard but I understand this is what needs to be done in order for me to find true happiness. For 15 years I have depended on a pill for motivation, perseverance, career advancement, etc......but I truly hate the person I have become.  So much so that I have forgotten who I really was before making the terrible decision to begin this journey back in 2005 at the age of 24.  I am turning 39 in a couple of days and even though you could call me “successful”,  I’m horrified by the fact that at an age where you are suppose to be at your spiritual, social, and career peak, I do not even know who I am. For these and many other reasons I have decided to quit and begin a new journey that I know is real and can call my own.  These are stressful times in the world but hopefully with the help of this forum and advice from my newly found peers, I am able to find truth, happiness, and my true self at the other side of the abyss!

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hi @Civilengr2020

welcome to the forums - it sounds like you're in the right mind set to start this journey! that sense of not knowing who you really are is an existential nightmare that we have all been through. i remember thinking, back at the peak of my addiction, that i had built this seemingly successful life for a person that didn't even exist anymore. would that person even care about the addict's achievements?

something to remember early on is that those achievements may not feel "real", but they're still yours. you don't need to shut away all your accomplishments. it may not seem like it for the first year or so, but you will eventually learn to love your life again and not think of the last 15 years as a waste.

gl and stay close to the forums (:

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