Greg Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Hey all, I havent posted in a while and I am sorry for being MIA for a while. The last time I wrote, I think I was so depressed I was in bed for days, and i spent a lot of time wallowing asking myself why i had to get addicted to adderall.. But things have gotten better since, much better. I was accepted to business school recently and I've enrolled, School starts in late January and Ive put in a deposit and am officially a grad student and no longer 'studying for grad school'. I am doing a cool internship now in Manhattan and I am slowly getting my life back together. I am doing this all without adderall, and it scary, Life feels wobbly. but I am doing it. Slowly. Most importantly, I am 2 Years off adderall!! I didnt do much during these two years except study for an exam and focus on my recovery, but so far these have been the two most important years of my life. I still get PAWS, and I cope. But thats what happens when you pop adderall like candy for years. Motivating myself is SOO hard sometimes. Applying to school was a nightmare, looking for jobs was a nightmare. Trying explain around two years of recovering from adderall was really difficult. Instead of reaching for pills, I hold my breath and just force myself to do the things I don't want to do, and hate every minute of it. But i get it done. For a long time after quitting, all I wanted to do was stay in bed all the time. But staying in bed all the time and not doing anything, until i was finally able to crawl out of bed is how I recovered. Everyone recovers differently. This was the way i chose to do it. It worked for me. Adderall addiction destroys your life. It makes you think you are AWESOME and makes you THINK uninteresting things are interesting. But when you are on adderall, you are caught up in your own little world of DISreality. Your center is adderall and thinking and feeling like your awesome. And of course more and more You believe it is the one thing that gets you through life. I could go on and on and on...and if you look at earlier posts, I HAVE. if you are struggling or deciding on how to give this up. Do what I did and just STOP everything in your life. Get some support from family, and kick this thing. Because its the most important thing you can do for your future. Even if it means laying lifeless on your bed with no motivation for months, years, whatever. You need to do what you need to do to kick this habit before you can move on with your life. Stay strong everyone. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highonlife Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 InRecovery, thank you very much for your post. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I am 6 months in and have been encouraged by many of your posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted November 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Me as well and Congrats on 6 months!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted November 28, 2012 Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Welcome Back, InRecovery! I have checked your profile page several times looking for new activity but it always said "last active Aug 24" or thereabouts. I was worried that you somehow went away so I am sooo glad you are back and doin OK! Congrats on passing that test and getting into a school of your choice. One of your last posts said you were starting a new job - and then silence..... Did that job work out? It is good to hear from you, my friend. ......quit-once....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted November 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2012 Hey quit once, I know it's been a while, But I'd never leave this forum for good! That job u mentioned was actually the internship I'm doing now which was pushed back weeks, so i didnt start until recently, and it is turning out to be really cool. And I feel so much more together at work off of adderall. And feeling more confidant that i can do this . and i can give my work 100% on my own. I'll be doing that for a couple more weeks then heading to Florida for school. I feel nervous and wobbly on my two feet doing all this - it's a lot- but know this is a sign I'm getting back on my feet. The clean and sober person I am now is the person I want to be for the rest of my life. The biggest lie any adderall addict can tell themselves is that they are BETTER when they are on adderall. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 Hi InRecovery, I'm glad you are back on the forums. Your posts have helped me so much. Good luck in business school - I'm sure you will do great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted November 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 I missed all you guys a lot!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 CONGRATULATIONS FOR TWO YEARS!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 InRecovery, I'm glad you're back! Your posts have gotten me through a lot. 8 months clean today, and I get down on myself for where I think I should be and where I am. Your post just gave me the reminder I need to take the time to recover and be damn grateful I'm off of that junk...a day at a time.....thanks!. Don't leave us again Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted November 29, 2012 Report Share Posted November 29, 2012 I forgot to say congratulations...great news for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted December 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2012 Thanks all, and i really cant believe its been two years!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted August 30, 2013 Report Share Posted August 30, 2013 This is a great post! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosthisguy Posted August 30, 2013 Report Share Posted August 30, 2013 Amazing. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted September 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 1, 2013 Thanks all. There is nothing more important than being clean!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kori Posted September 5, 2013 Report Share Posted September 5, 2013 You are all so inspiring. its like a huge family here what better feeling to have continued, selfless support from people who have been through, and made it out the other side. inrecovery, I consider it a privilege to witness your life being transformed! Into the beautiful, determined, sound minded individual you were meant to be. you demonstrate perseverance; and that motivates me to also take the steps to become whole again. thank you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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