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porcelain

i'm new here... & scared

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hey,

I've been reading the posts/articles on this site for awhile now. I've found it helpful & comforting, although I haven't really done anything to get off adderrall. I want to get off it but, like so many others here, I'm scared that I won't be productive, energetic, etc. Will I be me? I've been on it (prescribed) for 8yrs now. I'm almost 29 now & I just don't really know who I am off of adderrall - what if I don't like myself as much? What if I don't like myself at all? I'm also scared to let others down or make others feel like they don't know me (because all of a sudden I'll be this different person). I'm feeling overwhelmed just starting to write all this now. If I hardly have energy/focus ON adderrall now, how am I ever going to have it if/when I go off?

I know I have to be off it (and off my other meds that I've been on so long) fairly soon because my husband & I want to start trying to have kids in a couple of years (& I will NOT do that with meds in my system - I'm trying to give myself plenty of time to get off the meds & stabilize).

I guess I'm just looking for some insights... some hope... does anyone have experience or know anyone who has had success after 8yrs of being on adderrall? (no breaks or vacations from the little orange/pink pills during those 8 yrs).

I have so much more to share & ask, but I think I will leave it at that for now. I'm feeling defeated today and, like I've said, just so scared.

Thanks for being here.

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hey,

I've been reading the posts/articles on this site for awhile now. I've found it helpful & comforting, although I haven't really done anything to get off adderrall. I want to get off it but, like so many others here, I'm scared that I won't be productive, energetic, etc. Will I be me? I've been on it (prescribed) for 8yrs now. I'm almost 29 now & I just don't really know who I am off of adderrall - what if I don't like myself as much? What if I don't like myself at all? I'm also scared to let others down or make others feel like they don't know me (because all of a sudden I'll be this different person). I'm feeling overwhelmed just starting to write all this now. If I hardly have energy/focus ON adderrall now, how am I ever going to have it if/when I go off?

I know I have to be off it (and off my other meds that I've been on so long) fairly soon because my husband & I want to start trying to have kids in a couple of years (& I will NOT do that with meds in my system - I'm trying to give myself plenty of time to get off the meds & stabilize).

I guess I'm just looking for some insights... some hope... does anyone have experience or know anyone who has had success after 8yrs of being on adderrall? (no breaks or vacations from the little orange/pink pills during those 8 yrs).

I have so much more to share & ask, but I think I will leave it at that for now. I'm feeling defeated today and, like I've said, just so scared.

Thanks for being here.

I am in a similar boat as you. I'm on day 1 of no Adderall. I've been on it since 1996 except for a 4 year period where I was determined to get and stay off it. I feel each person is different but I understand that you are particularly scared that it might change your personality. Just remember your friends are your friends and your family is your family, they are going to stick by you and the absence of the drug is not going to turn you into some lazy monster. You just have to work hard like other normal people. Adderall is essentially cheating, remember our ancestors got through there lives without the use of this crap. Men like John D. Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, John Piermont Morgan built empires all without the use of drugs. Live is tough, I know I'm getting a little side tracked here but just take some comfort that there are some other people out there going through the same exact things as you. I've been on for almost double the time you have and I have successfully gotten off that crap - they were the some of the happiest days of my life. I relapsed but am stopping now as it's do or die for me at this juncture. Be Strong and make a set game plan, throw out the pills, and keep your chin up!

John

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YES, you most certainly CAN get off adderall! I was taking a very high dose for 7-8 years without any breaks, and then stopped taking it cold turkey 9 months ago. I never thought I could and the thought of permanently quitting adderall was terrifying to me, but I did.

Naturally it took some time for me to adapt to life off adderall. At first, the adjustment was very physical and I slept through most of the first couple weeks. Mental adjusting took place for about six months or so, but I was fully functional for work/social activities after just 3-4 weeks. Reading the material on this site was tremendously helpful:)

I thought about adderall every day for the first few months. After I stopped thinking about it consciously, I had nightly dreams of relapsing on those orange pills. But then those stopped as well, and all my unhealthy obsessions over the drug are now gone.

The only time I think about adderall now is in realizing how much worse I was at doing something when I was on it. Everything I do now happens more fluidly. When I was on adderall, my wheels would spin like crazy and it ended up limiting my productivity, not to mention my sleep cycle, social life, relationships, etc.

Having insecurities and worrying about letting others down happens regardless of whether or not you take adderall. Of course you will still be "you" after you quit! In fact, you will be even more "you" than you are right now, and it will feel great to you and those around you. The only time I was scared was when I was still on adderall and thought about quitting. After I quit, I was just tired and relaxed.

It is just a matter of regaining the balance that adderall offsets. You can do it!!

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Yes you can live and thrive without Adderall! I think there’s something to be said for the old concept of “one day at a time.†The first three days or so are guaranteed to be shitty. Take a three-day weekend and “have the flu,†and give yourself permission to spend a day or two on the sofa if you have to. It’s normal. There is a real withdrawal from this stuff. For some people it’s very fast; for others it takes a little longer. But it does get better.

Besides, very few decisions we ever make are truly “forever.†If you decide, after six months or a year, that you made a mistake and you need your speed-self back … well, lord knows the pills will still be there, and so will the doctors who appear to be just fine with prescribing it. My guess is, you will not want to go back. But you always could.

Lastly, I think there’s NOTHING wrong with tapering off this stuff gradually. As long as you don’t drag it out forever. But taking a month to work your way down? Totally sensible, especially if you’re taking a fairly big dose. You will still have to take the plunge … even going from 5 mg to zero mg will be a transition. But it will be a lot less extreme.

Be of good cheer. Adderall is not you. You are you. Adderall can give you extra energy and focus (for awhile!) but it cannot make you into something you're not. The things you've accomplished, the close relationships you have, the person you've become ... Adderall could never given you all those things, and it sounds like you're beginning to realize it could slowly start taking them away. Good luck!

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Yes you can live and thrive without Adderall! I think there’s something to be said for the old concept of “one day at a time.†The first three days or so are guaranteed to be shitty. Take a three-day weekend and “have the flu,†and give yourself permission to spend a day or two on the sofa if you have to. It’s normal. There is a real withdrawal from this stuff. For some people it’s very fast; for others it takes a little longer. But it does get better.

Besides, very few decisions we ever make are truly “forever.†If you decide, after six months or a year, that you made a mistake and you need your speed-self back … well, lord knows the pills will still be there, and so will the doctors who appear to be just fine with prescribing it. My guess is, you will not want to go back. But you always could.

Lastly, I think there’s NOTHING wrong with tapering off this stuff gradually. As long as you don’t drag it out forever. But taking a month to work your way down? Totally sensible, especially if you’re taking a fairly big dose. You will still have to take the plunge … even going from 5 mg to zero mg will be a transition. But it will be a lot less extreme.

Be of good cheer. Adderall is not you. You are you. Adderall can give you extra energy and focus (for awhile!) but it cannot make you into something you're not. The things you've accomplished, the close relationships you have, the person you've become ... Adderall could never given you all those things, and it sounds like you're beginning to realize it could slowly start taking them away. Good luck!

I don't mean to hi-jack this post, but being new and not having read all that's in here, I'm wondering about your statement about "5mg to Zero". 2 1/2 months with Adderall, 60mgs/day morn, noon, afternoon. Down to 10mgs in the morn and fighting through afternoon. I own a business and work 7 days a week. I can NOT miss a day, especially right now. Going to Zero, are there those who are able to get up and work through it? Understanding everyone is different, it appears as though I'll be looking at 3-5 days of ??? Have you, or do you know of anyone to come off and not lay on that couch, or better yet, still apply themselves to a demanding job during that 3-5 (hopefully not more) day period? Thank you, and sorry if I've pulled this thread in the wrong direction. I feel like an 80yr old man in the morning until I take the only 10mg pill for the day currently. Seems like it may be nearly impossible to fuction at ground zero, but if I hear of those that did it, I can fuel myself and say "Hey, he/she did it, stop complaining and get your a** up and going", etc. PS: My apologies if the answer is already on this page,or I've not read enough of the wonderful posts on this forum. I've got to spend an aweful lot more of energy to focus since reducing and miss things here and there in addition to having to read the same thing several times to digest it right now.

"Likatu" - looks like you started this thread. If I receive a response, I hope that it is helpful to you as well. I too am scared though I have not been on as long as you. I hope you find the strength through this forum and folks to accomplish your goal(s). I am NOT a forum person as I have found too many... Jesus how do I say this nicely... too many that lack education and have such poor grammar, that I can't understand what half of their points are. HOWEVER, this forum... WOW. Extremely intellent people, wonderul info, cohesiveness, etc. "what a find!"

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