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About Kimber

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  1. I don't think age makes it harder to quit...I quit Aug. 10, 2017 after being on Adderall 17 years. I too am 52 years old. The last couple of years I was on Adderall I was prescribed 40mg/day, usually running out before end of month. Age for me was, now or never, and there was no more kidding myself about the harm it was doing to me physically. That being said, I got another rx within the last 2 years, so I guess you can say I relapsed, but really it was great for me because for some reason I felt AWFUL on it from the get go...not sure if my metabolism changed or what, but trying them again helped that nagging voice that was in my head go away, that maybe I'd be better on Adderall again. Flushed them after using for a day. You can definitely do it. It is soooo nice to really really laugh again, something I didn't realize that I hadn't done in a long, long time. Also learned about my genetics and vitamins I need to be using to help my ADHD instead of prescriptions, also learned to eat right, something I never bothered to do while using Adderall. Age also gives us a bit more wisdom. Good luck and don't beat yourself up.
  2. Social media garbage.

    YUP having a zero motivation day and made the mistake of thinking "let me look and see what's happening on fb" within seconds of being on there my low motivation mood went to irritation, jealousy, depression,...feeling like i'm wasting my life instead of doing what so and so is doing with there life (as evident on fb) and on downward. Deactivated account.
  3. Social media garbage.

    I detest fb since quitting Adderall... not really sure why...fortunately or unfortunately where we moved to prior to my quitting Adderall is like a wifi dead zone...unbeknownst to us. I definitely notice when I occasionally get on there I feel 10x worse afterwards, so why do it in the first place right?!
  4. Anyone else try NADH? I tried it within my early quit time, maybe within first year, and don't remember much effect. Found in my supplement cabinet and thought I'd try again. Seems like I'm having a halfway decent effect from it this time. Nothing remotely adderall-like, but seems to help with mood and some "get off the couch" feeling. Just curious of others experience ....
  5. Observing Active Users Post-Quit

    Same here! Especially when they have told you they have quit and their behavior indicates otherwise.
  6. Great advice! About getting up and doing something ! Anything. When the bad comes it's hard to remember the good, for me anyway. Going to the gym first thing in am definitely helps me, I don't kill it, but just getting there is huge. Sometimes it really is about the little things. Good luck to us all.
  7. I am feeling tons better AND love not daydreaming about adderalls "what Ifs" and how much better I'd be if I just had a little adderall! Would never have thought it'd make be feel that bad.
  8. After taking Adderall pretty much as prescribed, but for 15+ years, I had quit for 14 months! Unfortunately the brain fog really never lifted for me and I felt unable to anything that required an amount of brain effort. After not working for 10 years, I am having to go back to work and felt I could not pull myself together and asked my doctor to prescribe only 10-20mg pills a month and to not prescribe to me longer than 6 months . Well after using for 10 days, I FELT HORRIBLE! It was as though every bad side effect and then some came on with full force and after the first couple of days, never even got any thing good from using it. All the "day dreaming" for the last 14 months of how much help it would be if I could just have a "little" adderall,....I guess using again really was the only way for me to stop thinking like that. Because shit, I swear I don't remember feeling THAT horrible and now when I think of Adderall that is immediately what i feel instead of a "lost love" feeling. Sooooo....I'm not beating my self up for relapsing....actually the best thing for me .... Just thought I'd share Good Luck to everyone
  9. Thank you both for your responses. Really helps to hear from people who have been there, family and friends try, but just don't get it. It is hard because it truly is like starting ALL over in life... my likes and dislikes are more gray and not as sharp, and some times just blah. Started working out for the first time in 20 years...something I certainly wouldn't have thought possible a year ago when I decided to quit.
  10. Whew. I can't believe it has been a year ago today that I tore up my last Adderall prescription. Physically I feel 100% better. Mentally I still feel "mushy" ... 17 years is a long, long, long time and it really probably became more a part of me than I cared to admit or could possibly understand. Feel like I'm treading water right now. Not really going anywhere and trying to not beat myself up about not going anywhere, because that is when I think "if i just could have a couple of Adderall to get me going again"... I'm ready for those thoughts to be GONE! And ready for something, I just don't know what.
  11. I keep trying to remind myself that almost 20 years is a long time to be on any medication and it formed many habits and thought processes that aren't necessarily congruent with my true nature and getting back on course may take some time...something that is so 180 from the adderall thought process of "pop a pill" and it will come attitude. I know I am a better friend, sibling, wife off adderall... I spend a lot of time alone and on adderall it was easier because it was like I wasn't alone. So now I need to figure out what to do with myself...20 years later. I just struggle with is it too late now....
  12. Do you feel like your personality changed either on Adderall or afterwards adapting to not having the Adderall personality? I feel like I almost don't know who I am sometimes....then sometimes I recognize someone.... I also find I struggle with just being okay with quiet...mentally and physically. I think I got so used to being jacked up, then crashing that that became the norm. So now quiet-time can make me feel very restless...Headspace app is helping. But sometimes just knowing others experience this helps.
  13. God I needed that...your post "four years ago today" brought me to tears. Thank you so much for sharing that. EXACTLY WHAT I needed today. whew. thank you.
  14. While I can't believe its almost been a year, August 10, 2017, I definitely feel like I've hit a wall. I used as prescribed for 17 years 10mg, then 30mg and the last 2 years was on 40mg IR/day, which I knew from the beginning was too much and didn't make me feel very good. I miss almost every day. I think about it every day...sometimes thinking I'm glad I'm not on it any more, sometimes wishing for way to concentrate again. The last couple of months have been a struggle with motivation and mood...more so than the first 6 months sober and am wondering if it is b/c its like "now what". I just started working out...first time in 20+years to try to help with the low mood and motivation and lack of concentration. What are other year long quitter's experiences? I don't want to get back on it. Just surprised I'm still struggling. Obviously my body has rid itself of it and should be healed as much as it is able to from whatever Adderall may have done. Just feel flat. I don't have a job and at this point don't even feel like I am hire-able...brain just doesn't work anymore...
  15. BPC 157

    How has it been? I've researched it some, but EVERYTHING gives me side effects. Still looking however....