raisingcranes

not 'you' obviously, just whomever wrote this.

Okay, so, you have outlined the progression of amphetamine use/abuse pretty accurately, I think. What I like most about your outline is that you capture the transition--from deriving feelings of "euphoria" and the like, to experiencing exclusively negative symptoms such as irritability, isolation, delusions of invincibility, etc. The feelings outlined here are all ones that I have experienced, at least in some capacity. I think your description of cognitive dissonance in step 8 is...effective. When I say effective, I mean that adderall appeals to the inexperienced user for the initial sensations described here. Your description in step 8 is certainly a convincing deterrent to those early in the use/abuse process. Your step 8 is also very, very demoralizing, and quite frankly, your scientific references are unprecedented. You are right that amphetamines increase feelings of motivation ten-fold, and it is not until the brain has completely exhausted its capacity for dopaminergic signaling that we may feel depleted, as described in 7b. In other words, adderall increases the store of dopamine (responsible for reward-oriented behavior), norepinephrine (responsible for concentration, along with cognitive alertness via dopamine transmission), along with other neurotransmitters. Taken in large doses for a long period of time, like any other drug, adderall loses its efficacy. The brain is unable to synthesize normal levels of dopamine because prolonged abuse exhausts the store of dopamine in the brain. This is the major theory behind the decline of motivation in speed abusers: too much of a good thing starts to be a bad thing. Our brains are equipped with feedback mechanisms that either expedite or slow biological processes. Once the brain has reached "threshold" and dopamine levels become too high, it compensates by depleting levels of dopamine to maintain baseline. If we did not have this neurological threshold, we'd all be out of our minds. But the brain is also highly plastic, and we know now we can still form new synaptic connections, strengths in areas of the brain that may be weakened; we can continue to grow and change. What I take issue with is not the misuse of the scientific basis. Rather, the way you describe a person's decline suggests that he/she could never recover (potentially), or in your words "never be the same again." First, this is wrong. We are infinitely evolving humans, on scales large and small. Evolutionarily, we adapted these neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, epinephrine, etc) because they were (and are) essential to our survival. Particularly dopamine, which evolutionarily functioned as a means for our brains to communicate: "get it". When I say get it, I don't mean "wanting it" but rather "needing it". The difference between the two is huge. As primal creatures, we see food (the stimulus), and do whatever we can to procure it (the reward). The downfall here is we cannot use our primal instincts as a justification for abusing drugs, as speed increases dopamine beyond levels we are even equipped to deal with neurologically. This reward-seeking behavior becomes incorporated into our self-concept and into the way we see and approach the world. You are right that drug abuse can irrevocably change a person. Once we come to rely on a pill to define us, we will never return to the person we were prior to ever picking up. Having said that, to presume that amphetamine abuse can create a permanent void in a person is failing to address an essential part of recovery: spirituality. We can and do recover. Do yourself a favor--no matter what "stage" you see yourself in, no matter if you believe you will never return to normal cognitive functioning or you're just beginning to use adderall and think you are impervious to its effects--no matter what you used, for how long; no matter where you came from or who you knew, no matter what: the details are irrelevant. An addict is an addict is an addict, and each addict is bound by the disease of addiction. My guess is anyone who frequents this website is, by nature: competitive, self-interested, compulsive, obsessive, sensitive, and has never "felt right in their own skin." I know before I had descended into adderall world, I was smoking weed 3xday every day. Before that, I had abstained from using drugs for many, many years. I claimed I just "wasn't into it" but it is only now, in my recovery, that I can say I didn't pick up because somehow I knew I would not be able to put it down. At age 5, I was pulling tiny pieces from my blanket and shoving them up my nose. For no reason in particular other than it felt good to me at the time, so I kept doing it. This is the pattern in all addicts, that we cannot stop; that we are powerless over our disease, that our lives have become unmanageable. Do yourself a huge favor and attend your local Narcotics Anonymous meeting. NA saved, and continues to save, my life. There aint no difference between an "adderallic," an "addict" or a "junkie." Life awaits you, but you cannot do it alone. more will be revealed.