90 days

[Nkl]

Today marks day 90 since I quit adderrall, with a couple of small relapses 2 months ago

long story a little less long, I was on it pretty much daily for 3 years before I decided to quit, I had a 20mg prescription but I would take a higher dose on some days (up to 50 at times) while taking lower doses on others. During the past year the I needed it for EVERYTHING and the side effects really took off.. I would take 20mg in the morning along with a hefty caffeine dose and crash in the afternoon. I would wake up around 1-3am with pain in the back of my eyes unable to go back to sleep which I believe was the acute withdrawal symptoms. It would also give me extreme muscle twitching and neck pain/tightness which I thought would go away after I stopped using but unfortunately that’s not the case.. I am sure it’s the adderall though as during those small relapses it instantly got worse.

I had a window of opportunity with little obligation in June where I decided I would taper off and then only use it sparingly (yeah right). I tapered off in a pretty stupid way but it worked nonetheless.. I would use a gradually lower dosage every day while 3-4 days a week taking a higher dosage before a workout, I worked my way down to stupidly small dosages where I used a mg scale in order to weigh as little as 0.5mg worth of amphetamine at the end of my taper . This taper took me about 3 months until I was at zero on august 30th.. I’ve since then took 10mg a couple of times and 5 mg a couple of times on my first month off as i thought I’ll be able to use it only occasionally and feel fine.

I guess I’m not nearly as deep down the rabbit hole as some others here as I largely took my prescribed dose throughout but recovery is still insanely hard, honestly I’m happy I didn’t read up on it much before quitting as I wouldn’t have gone for it have I known I had such a long road ahead of me.. I had about a week where I felt much better but the paws hit me again a few days ago and it’s a bitch.. extreme low energy, depression and suicidal thoughts at times.  
 

im really struggling and reading some of the stories here really helps a lot, it’s great to have such a community.

[eric]

Welcome to the site!  Great to see that you're at 90+ days, keep it up!

I'm only day 59 but I've had 8.5 years of taking this junk and more relapses than I can count. Most veterans of the site and I would recommend getting rid of your meds completely so you don't have that temptation to take them.  It can make the struggle way worse when in the back of your mind you know you have them. It can also be freeing to rid yourself of them and look at moving forward.  I know from my own experience....I realized that I wanted to quit meds in January 2015 after only being on them for less than a year and here it is November 2022....I've missed so many important events in my life being completely blown out of my mind working on the most meaningless things.

Just want the best for anyone that comes to this site looking for support. Keep us up to date! 

Best of luck!!

 

[Nkl]

Thank you so much for the reply, really helps being able to discuss this with others who are going through something similar..

yes I absolutely do realize I need to get rid of those pills.. I have so many of them.. about a 9 month supply of 20 mg (I was using a lower average dosage the past year. But I’m finding this very hard to do, though I will say I have zero cravings for the drug at this point and don’t really feel a temptation to use.. something in the back of my mind kind of think I’ll be able to use them again in a lower dosage and only sparingly although I do know this is probably the disease talking in my head, I think maybe once I’ll feel better and see that I can function normally without it I will be able to truly let go.

 

It’s important to note this is my first try at quitting..I know it may not sound that bad but the withdrawals are a true bitch, I can only imagine what some of those with more serious abuse most go through..