ashley6 Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 Ok, so my first speech is Friday, in my public speaking class. I'm starting to think about what I'm going to talk about. It's called this I believe.... We're supposed to talk about principles and beliefs that guide our lives and maybe events that have led us to our belief system. You know if I was on adderall I wouldn't even have principles or belief systems, because all I gave a shit about was my next pill. I'm so nervous, but at the same time I think this is a great speech to start with considering my circumstances. I'm debating on whether my abuse issue should be addressed, because I truly have changed who I am and what I believe having gone through all of that. I'm debating on whether you all think this is too personal for a speech class where I don't know anyone? Any public speaking tips would be greatly appreciated too. What are your thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev&Rush Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 I'd be hesitant to discuss the adderall, only because of the stigma that is attached to it. Most people really do not understand all of this. That being said, the best speeches I've ever heard (and given) are the ones that were written from the heart with experience. Those are the speeches that captivate people because the words are perfect, the speaker flows and the audience really listens to the message. They are not distracted by fluctuations in someone's voice caused by insincerity and nervousness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 That sounds like a fascinating class, Ashley! And something given your experience conquering addiction, depression, anxiety, specific phobias (like flying and public speaking) put you in a really unique place to have a very compelling story. I've loved looking back through your content (sorry if it feels like I'm stalking you!). Your comments, encouragement and probing but gentle questions say a lot about your own struggles and perspectives. Maybe you can take a little meander through time on this site and piece together some "Ashley wisdom" that you can take with you in to the class. What I'm saying is that it's all in you, all that content about what you believe and your "life commandments"; and they are sprinkled throughout your comments on this forum. Not that you have asked for this, but if I were to summarize you and your characteristics, Ashley, based on the little time I've known you in this random virtual but powerful community we have here I'd say the following things are important to you: humility, encouragement, focus and determination, consistency and trust. Not a bad story at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 Ashley you gave a talk about your adderall addiction before a huge audience before right? Do you remember there being any backlash or anything. No, right? I have also talked about it in front of strangers...one was in a huge roomful of some 60 parents who had children with ADHD. No backlash or anything. This was a couple years ago. If anything, it helped these parents gain an understanding of the potential pitfalls of it. It's not like you are presenting to an audience of recruiters at job fair or anything. They're just other students and a professor. I really liked Rev&Rush's advice about the best speeches coming from the heart. And this one will really be from the heart and its definitely subject that is important to you and it sounds like you want to do it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 InRecovery, You just made my night. Those are some kind words. Isn't this sight made for stalking? I know your story from start to finish as well After listening to some of the speeches in the class, some talking about abuse as a child, to losing a loved one to suicide, I have gotten teary-eyed and left remembering those speeches the most. I agree with you Rev and Rush. I wanted to hug those people for having the guts to talk about that stuff and almost fighting back tears. I think I will discuss it. It doesn't seem real if I don't include it. That's an excellent idea going through my posts, I hadn't thought of that! I received nothing but positivity by talking about it before, and left with a sense of empowerment. Ok, I'm including it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 given your experience conquering addiction, depression, anxiety, specific phobias (like flying and public speaking) put you in a really unique place to have a very compelling story. There ya go -- you can talk about conquering phobias and fears! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 That sounds like a fascinating class, Ashley! And something given your experience conquering addiction, depression, anxiety, specific phobias (like flying and public speaking) put you in a really unique place to have a very compelling story. I've loved looking back through your content (sorry if it feels like I'm stalking you!). MFA, If I were brand new to this site, I would be so curious about everyone's backstories too. Luckily I have gotten to know a lot of you as you have come to this site... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 MFA, What I said about InRecovery's post, I meant about yours. I for some reason thought he said all of that stuff. I'm so grateful to have you on this site. You know exactly what to say somehow. InRecovery, I still like you, and your post was good too I'm confusing myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 What better way to get over a phobia of something than by doing it and addressing it at the same time? Great point! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 MFA, What I said about InRecovery's post, I meant about yours. I for some reason thought he said all of that stuff. I'm so grateful to have you on this site. You know exactly what to say somehow. InRecovery, I still like you, and your post was good too I'm confusing myself. My post sucked Im through with posting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 6, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 Stoppppittt! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 And now for my two cents: Since the talk is about beliefs and principles, you could discuss your core values and principles that led you to quit adderall. Should the abuse issue be addressed? not necessarily if that would be sharing too much with total strangers. Simply quitting an addictive drug or an addiction really isn't simple at all. they don't have to know to what extent you abused it, only that you were addicted. that is pretty common with many drugs, legal and illegal, stimulants or pain killers. There will be lots of folks talking about their religion so you can downplay the glory days of your adderall abuse and focus on the addiction and recovery leading to where you are now, not so much of what a fuck up you were. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 6, 2013 Report Share Posted February 6, 2013 InRecovery, You just made my night. Those are some kind words. Isn't this sight made for stalking? I know your story from start to finish as well After listening to some of the speeches in the class, some talking about abuse as a child, to losing a loved one to suicide, I have gotten teary-eyed and left remembering those speeches the most. I agree with you Rev and Rush. I wanted to hug those people for having the guts to talk about that stuff and almost fighting back tears. I think I will discuss it. It doesn't seem real if I don't include it. That's an excellent idea going through my posts, I hadn't thought of that! I received nothing but positivity by talking about it before, and left with a sense of empowerment. Ok, I'm including it. Cool! And don't forget to mention the upcoming press attention - I'm sure it's a great punchline!! Let us know how it goes. Even better... record it on youtube and post it!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 7, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 Ok, this is how serious my public speaking fear is. I emailed my professor and told her I was sick, so I couldn't be there tomorrow to give my speech. While a couple people have already done this, and she's very paranoid of getting sick, so I don't think it will affect my grade, I want to smack myself in the face. I, for one, don't like lying. It reminds me of my adderall days. And secondly, I'm putting off the inevitable. I'm going to have to do it Monday. What in the earth is wrong with me?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 oh no! Now you're going to have it hanging over you all weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted February 7, 2013 Report Share Posted February 7, 2013 You can totally overcome this! Practice in front of the mirror -- or via webcam while sitting in the comfort of your favorite piece of furniture. You will be relaxed (probably more so than in front of the mirror) and you've made a new association between comfort and the speech... comfort and the speech... comfort and the speech... edit -- I mean the camera on your computer... not on the web ... is that called a webcam??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Lea, Good suggestion! I have to overcome this, so I can flippin graduate. Didn't think of the phone idea. I will use these tools....over the weekend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 MFA, I'm really beating myself up now, because you always have something positive to say. I think I really screwed this one up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Lea, great idea! Ashley you probably know this already but a few things I've found helpful (others chime in!).... - As long as you have the first line and bullet point, the rest will follow - Big deep breaths beforehand - Breathe in peace, breathe out release - Even though you're talking to a whole group, just imagine you're talking to one person... like a conversation... - Make the focus on the content, not about anything else ... and remember you know exponentially more about this subject than anyone else there, so they will be eating out of your hand! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 MFA, I'm really beating myself up now, because you always have something positive to say. I think I really screwed this one up Oh babe don't worry you're going to be great! Really, you've got this. The only thing you need to concentrate on is thinking positive and remembering YOU ARE THE EXPERT! If you have anyone you can practice in front of, then that might help? If it makes you feel better I have to do a massive case study sales pitch for an interview at a totally intimidating management consulting company next week... and only an hour to prepare. They give you the case at 8am and you have to pitch it to a panel of Partners one hour later. So I'll tell you what... if you do well on Monday, then that will make me feel MUCH better about how I will do on Tuesday! Deal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Thank you. I feel a little better now, but that sounds ridiculously stressful. You seem to really know your shit, lady, so I think you'll do wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Oh babe don't worry you're going to be great! Really, you've got this. The only thing you need to concentrate on is thinking positive and remembering YOU ARE THE EXPERT! If you have anyone you can practice in front of, then that might help? If it makes you feel better I have to do a massive case study sales pitch for an interview at a totally intimidating management consulting company next week... and only an hour to prepare. They give you the case at 8am and you have to pitch it to a panel of Partners one hour later. So I'll tell you what... if you do well on Monday, then that will make me feel MUCH better about how I will do on Tuesday! Deal? sounds like a real life episode of the apprentice.......where's The Donald? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted February 8, 2013 Report Share Posted February 8, 2013 Hey Ashley, As someone who is also working through massive public speaking anxiety.... I don't know how much I have to offer, but I'll try. Its really hard to speak in front of your peers too, I think they are the toughest audience anxiety-wise. It's all about practice. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And anyways thats the whole point of your class....right? I mean as long as you go up there and do this, you CANNOT FAIL. Nobody will judge you harshly if you seem a little nervous, because it's normal and shows you care. And theres nothing wrong with it. Its tough, but try not to speak super fast to get it done and over-with. If you go too fast, the audience won't get as much out of it, so take your time to explain/unpack each point. It's OK to take little mini pauses and a deep breath here and there. It radiates confidence, its actually good for your audience, it helps them process what you're saying and it can draw them in further with the suspense. Maybe, pretend you are talking to a good friend. Bring your beautiful colorful personality into it! Smile, gesture, pace around the room, speak from your heart/mind, be GENUINE. It sounds cliche but...be YOU. Bring your whole self into it. You know, the vibrant self that adderall tried to steal from you. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself if you make a little mistake! Don't overprepare. In my experience (and everyone is different), I do my best when I only prepare a few main points, then go in there and speak from the heart, improv style. I think people sometimes overprepare when they're super anxious...I do..... but you'll be more genuine, less rehearsed, and less nervous if you just prepare a few main thoughts you want to cover, and fill in the rest as you go. Over-preparation can block your heart from expressing itself in the moment as thoughts occur to you. You have it all within you! Try to interpret that nervousness/anxiety as a good thing. Take a breath and say to yourself, OK good I'm nervous, that means I have a little adrenaline rush to help me be on my game. (MUCH easier said than done, but something I strive for.) OWN IT. Just take over the stage and take your moment to shine! You are a voice in this world, and you have great things to say!!! And they will want to hear it!! Also, remember that NOBODY is judging you as harshly as you are judging yourself. Remember, YOU'RE AWESOME!!!! Confidence is key!!!! Good luck girl! Its nothin you can't handle!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 10, 2013 Report Share Posted February 10, 2013 Hey Ashley, WATCH THIS! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amy-cuddy/body-language_b_2451277.html Best confidence booster ever. Really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 11, 2013 Thanks for posting this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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