etherwitch Posted April 2, 2023 Report Share Posted April 2, 2023 I don't even know if this is day 1 or just a temporary break. I've been taking adderall on and off since 2020. In the beginning it was fine, but it began to severely affect my relationships (severe mood swings/violent outbursts). I began taking it again February 2022 because of my job. I don't get the same negative side effects from it now but I can't help but feel somewhat ashamed for choosing to take it again due to my past experiences from taking it. In January 2023 I began to abuse it and since then I've fluctuated between taking the prescribed dose and taking more than what was prescribed. However, with the ongoing shortages it has become really tricky to obtain it. Now I feel like I've been given without a choice to quit. It's scares me because I don't remember who I was before all of this. Although, adderall has positively impacted my life and helped me through accomplishing a lot it has also negatively impacted my life as well. I don't know. I just feel so lost. Today I had my first outburst and screamed at my partner and mother. I suppose I'm withdrawing. I just feel so shitty and it doesn't help that I have so much going on I feel like everything is piling up. Like if I have no control of my life. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piano90 Posted April 2, 2023 Report Share Posted April 2, 2023 Hi I just joined as well. I have the same feelings of “oh it helped me to achieve so and so”. I ran a successful business by popping stimulants all the time. But mentally and physically it has ruined my health- I’ve developed a dependency on benzos to sleep because of the stimulants and my appetite is next to none. My anxiety is horrible, I get panic attacks. I’ve had to come to terms with being a less productive person than before, to slow down and accept myself as I am. xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALA Posted April 3, 2023 Report Share Posted April 3, 2023 Welcome y'all! I'm still a newbie, but I rid my Adderrall and its prescription/connection to a psychiatrist in January, and it's been 74 days without the devil drug. I decided to quit after being on it for a decade, mostly deciding to quit because of the health decline I have been experiencing over the last year. I can't say the withdrawal process doesn't suck, but I can say my health is the best it's been. Keep posting here -- this community is fantastic, and I wouldn't have been able to go this long without it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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