I quit and this Website did help - Here is my story

[Hello542]

Childhood and Early Diagnosis: As a kid, I was diagnosed with ADD. It wasn't through any scientific methods like brain scans, but through quizzes sent to my teachers and parents. Interesting protocol but it was the 90’s so I place no blame on the diagnosis or my parents decision.  It is still diagnosed the same way today and likely because now one wants to pay for a brain scan to see if the prefrontal cortex is working in the right way. If I was a teacher, I would likely want my kids to be on Adderall too so why they give them quiz seems ridiculous. What a great way for them to get focused and be less trouble.   This diagnosis made me feel different as a kid, special but not in a good way. It really affected my confidence and happiness. The medication I was given changed who I was. Probably made me resilient but also hurt my confidence.  I became less imaginative and felt more zoned out or maybe to zoned in is the right word. I wonder about this one thing from my childhood: I had once won a creative writing award, and I never won anything like it again. This makes me think about whether that was before or after the diagnosis because I feel like those meds stifled my creativity and based on my most recent research they definitely did. There is no doubt Adderall has a deep effect on the brain and it is proven that kids on Ritalin and Adderall morph the brain to become more focused for the rest of life. It literally alters your brain for life. Maybe that was good for me. I am doing well now. Funny thing is looking at my old report cards my grades didn’t even improve. Not one psychologist suggested natural remedies and it seems that is still the way it is today. No over the counter supplement, no diet suggestions or food intolerance tests or tricks to stay focused (which I imagine is hard to teach a kid). My guess is the pharmaceutical sales rep wouldn’t like that and likely the Psychologists revenue would like that. Literally, 25% of the US population is on some stimulate. This must be big money and the drug is just wildly effective at its job.

 

 

Experience with Adderall: I faced a crisis about 2 years ago. I was juggling a new job I honestly want qualified for at the time, moving houses, selling a home, buying home, studying for my CFP, Covid pandemic along with baby and pregnant wife. When I failed the CFP exam despite my intense efforts, it was soul-crushing. Faced with limited options, I turned to Adderall. It seemed like the best decision at that time. I was putting myself through 14 to 16 hours of intense focus daily, a seemingly impossible task. I now know you can only truly focus for two 90-minute sections a day. Adderall helped me through it. I don’t regret it. I do regret being on it for as long as I was and doing too much in one time but that was just the opportunity life gave me at the time.  But success came with drawbacks, and I wasn’t even aware of it until I was off my Adderall. I became a task-oriented machine on Adderall, losing touch with my creativity and the little voice inside my head. I was always bored unless I was doing something. Being with the kids was hard and I couldn’t wait to put them to bed to look at my phone or get another dopamine hit. I was still a good Father but I kind of felt I was faking it a lot which I became pretty good at. Time flew on Adderall because of the high dopamine and more than ever before in life. I felt life was getting away from me. Completing task or unhealthy outlets was the only high I could get in life and nothing else really mattered. This made me realize the impact of Adderall on my brain and life. It increased my dopamine levels to extremes and the extreme became my baseline over time, but that also led to lower baselines when not on it or when it faded which was typically when I came home from work or the weekend (which were brutal not being on it). I didn’t understand why I was craving alcohol, cigarettes, or other strange things. Dopamine is an insane brain tool. My baseline Dopamine was so high, little could bring me more enjoyment.  This imbalance affected my mood, my interactions with my family, and my overall well-being. Realizing the path, I was on, I made the difficult decision to get off Adderall despite it making me feel like superman at work. I was headed down an unhealthy path and needed a change. This was all happening in my soul and heart. On the outside, I was crushing work being number one in my company and making more money than ever.

 

 

Life After Adderall: Quitting Adderall was tough, especially the first two weeks. I felt like a zombie and wonder if I could continue my success at work. I am number one at my company and felt I lost my edge, and I was scared. Hannah has quit her job, and my family is relying on my success and income more than ever. I took a scientific approach to recovery. I analyzed my DNA through 23andMe, a third-party service to analyze the DNA and boiled down that information in a digestible way using Chat GPT. Interestingly, I scanned my DNA into an ADHD analysis, and I was in the 15% likelihood of having ADHD which is the lowest likelihood score you can get. I don’t know if I believe it but since I never had a brain scan, I guess we won’t know if I really am ADHD. I likely am but its interesting.  I tailored my diet and supplements based on the findings. I shifted to a like Mediterranean diet, took a ton of omega-3 fatty acids, started  cold showers, stopped drinking, and adjusted my vitamin intake based on my DNA needs. These changes helped me recalibrate. Now, I don't feel the constant need to be on my phone or to be constantly doing something. I enjoy being in the moment with my kids and have started talking to myself again. Which I weirdly missed.  My work isn’t as focused as before, but it’s more enjoyable and I am still crushing it. I still have a ton of energy and focus after the 2 week hell. I will probably gain weight because I’m starving all the time now. Despite all of it I’ve embraced being human again, I have enjoyed being distracted sometimes and not always focused on the task. I am mad at myself for not believing in myself the last year and thinking I needed to be on this crap. I needed it for 3 to 6 months. I am great without it and am still functioning at a high level. It made me learn I am enough I don’t need some artificial drug to keep me going. My success is not because of a drug. My cravings for quick dopamine hits have diminished. Most importantly, time has slowed down for me. Days feel longer, but the time I spend with my family is more meaningful. I'm healthier, sleeping better, and have a newfound love and empathy in my life. I want to share this story to show that change is possible, and you don’t always need pharmaceuticals to find your way. Are genetics are powerful and strong. We would have been eradicated years ago if that wasn’t true. I hope this encourages anyone that is on any pharmaceutical drug to find your way. I hate saying this, but most Doctors are not going to help you off drugs and you need to find your own path. PS- Andy Hubermans Podcast is a great place to start finding solutions for your health. Hope all this helps.

[dyingalive]

Tell me not to pick up my prescription tomorrow even though I'm eagerly waiting for it to be refilled