Searchingsoul9 Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Did you guys find yourself feeling more angry or sad when/while quitting? I find that i am rarely sad. I actually either have a good day or an angry day. I find myself having a VERY short temper. This is unlike me. I never was one with much anger prior to the adderall. Now i have little patience. When driving, i scream at the other morons that somehow got their license. In class, i keep it to myself, but my facial expressions quite obviously show how fed up i am by the annoying ass know-it-alls in my class. My therapist thinks i may be bipolar. Since getting off the adderall it has become a bit more obvious to me. On adderall, it was a given that i would have major ups and downs. The high and the crash, but i am going on 2 weeks sober and my 'emotions' are sporadic. Not just one day being up and the next down, but one minute up, the next down. For instance, today i was pissed and angry, my mom was talking to me, asked if i was mad. I said no. Then 5 minutes later i am cracking jokes, laughing like a complete maniac, and grinning ear to ear. I felt this crazed energy and i wanted to scream and laugh at the top of my lungs. Fast forward 20 minutes later and i want to yell in anger. WTF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 26, 2013 Report Share Posted February 26, 2013 Just my opinion, but I think to diagnose someone this early in recovery with anything is too soon. You're gonna feel all kinds of shit! And you are getting to know your real self again. But I'm out of my depth here, maybe someone else has experience with this... sorry... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 No worries, just confused is all x You're prob right though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 I totally agree with MFA. I felt emotions I didn't even know existed when first quitting. I think your body is just out of whack, because it's a big adjustment. I would jump from crying to laughing in a matter of minutes too, and that's not my temperament at all. I think just give your body and mind time to regroup 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 yeah definitely. I think the quit has brought out the agro in me for sure... I actually put myself back on the wellbutrin 2 days ago after getting back from my trip... same kind of thing: agro with other drivers, impatient, find myself saying a lot of things are "good not great", erring towards the negative a lot more these days.... I don't like it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Emotional lability. It is one of the clinical symptoms of amphetamine withdrawl. I read it in the PDR or maybe one of the package inserts that comes with an adderall prescription. I experienced it too in early recovery. Hey Sky, glad you're back amongst us again! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Oh I love those inserts!!!! Folded up all tight in like 48 squares...then you open it up,and WOW!!! MORE INKED WORDS THAN THE ENTIRE LOCAL SUNDAY PAPER ROUND HERE HAS,,,,ON ONE PIECE.....COOL. LOL. That was the stuff I'd kinda wave my hand at the tech and say ...oh.yeah,you can keep that stuff...and yeah that too. Hell keep your bags too...just hand me the bottle is cool. Oh boy...them daze. Crazy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Hey sky welcome back! Was aggression something you struggled with before adderall? Or on it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 Oh I love those inserts!!!! Folded up all tight in like 48 squares...then you open it up,and WOW!!! MORE INKED WORDS THAN THE ENTIRE LOCAL SUNDAY PAPER ROUND HERE HAS,,,,ON ONE PIECE.....COOL. LOL. That was the stuff I'd kinda wave my hand at the tech and say ...oh.yeah,you can keep that stuff...and yeah that too. Hell keep your bags too...just hand me the bottle is cool. Oh boy...them daze. Crazy. Heather. did you ever read an addie info insert? In denial, addicts usually want nothing to do with that kind of information. I rarely looked them. Sky: Agro = anger+aggrevation? new word to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 thanks quit-once, thanks MFA--- not aggression, agro, just kind of impatient and quickly annoyed. It comes on fast and dissipates fast, but I don't think its pleasant to be around. Before quitting I smoked a ton of weed, that mellowed me out for sure, so now not smoking weed, not taking adderall, not smoking cigs- I guess my true colors shine thru. agro is like edgy, but not in a good way. I remember the wellbutrin mellowing me out before, but I was also taking adderall, smoking cigs, smoking weed, drinking, etc... so not sure what will happen this time around. Hopefully it'll take my edge off. I just googled agro to see if there's a better definition than I'm giving here, and I don't think it's the right word now... I think edgy is better. Easily annoyed, quick temper but it stays inside, not outwardly hostile or aggressive, but quick to get annoyed if something goes "wrong". Nice to be back, how's everyone doing? what'd I miss??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 OK. I get what you mean by agro since I had a lot of practice quitting smoking. Sky, did you have a huge problem with weed addiction? The reason I mention it is because before I kicked the adderall, I couldn't smoke enough weed. Take addie, smoke weed, smoke cigs and repeat the cycle all day long. But after adderall, my weed consumption fell way off to only occasional usage. Sometimes to mellow out after a stressful day or PAWS, sometimes just to relax and recreate in my own fun way. Weed does not seem to be linked to adderall like the cigs were. Personally, if I have a choice between a natural substance where I can carefully regulate the dosage by how I smoke it; or a chemical pill, I'll go natural every time. Just sayin..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 yeah I totally agree. No it wasn't a huge problem, but I was pretty much 98% of the time a daily smoker. Though I had a reverse tolerance, so just a little bowl/ hit would do me. I just didn't like the way it made me towards the end, I was way too introverted, I'd screen calls when stoned and regret if I answered as I was totally awkward I thought. It stopped working, stopped being something to spice up a day and became a habit that was holding me back. When I quit the addy I told myself I'd dry out for a bit, see if things got better sans the weed, which I'd been wanting to quit for ages. Its funny how people react differently to drugs- I have friends who can smoke and go out into the world and be funny and social, it's like it has not affect on them- but I hated smoking at parties or in social settings where there was more than one person, I just withdrew and became introverted and slow, dull, bla. My eyes were a dead give away too, red bloodshot and glassy, whereas other people's eyes don't change at all.... weird. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted February 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 yeah I totally agree. No it wasn't a huge problem, but I was pretty much 98% of the time a daily smoker. Though I had a reverse tolerance, so just a little bowl/ hit would do me. I just didn't like the way it made me towards the end, I was way too introverted, I'd screen calls when stoned and regret if I answered as I was totally awkward I thought. It stopped working, stopped being something to spice up a day and became a habit that was holding me back. When I quit the addy I told myself I'd dry out for a bit, see if things got better sans the weed, which I'd been wanting to quit for ages. Its funny how people react differently to drugs- I have friends who can smoke and go out into the world and be funny and social, it's like it has not affect on them- but I hated smoking at parties or in social settings where there was more than one person, I just withdrew and became introverted and slow, dull, bla. My eyes were a dead give away too, red bloodshot and glassy, whereas other people's eyes don't change at all.... weird. EXACTLY. I am the same way. Before the adderall i was smoking 3-6 blunts a day, every day. It made me semi introverted, but then i started smoking bowls during the crash on adderall and i would get SO paranoid, anxious, introverted. Could only have 2-4 hits or i'd be flipping out.I never liked smoking at parties though. I get so socially awkward when i am stoned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted February 27, 2013 Report Share Posted February 27, 2013 EXACTLY. I am the same way. Before the adderall i was smoking 3-6 blunts a day, every day. It made me semi introverted, but then i started smoking bowls during the crash on adderall and i would get SO paranoid, anxious, introverted. Could only have 2-4 hits or i'd be flipping out. I never liked smoking at parties though. I get so socially awkward when i am stoned. So do you notice anything different now that you've stopped smoking? I don't really. Can't say that I feel more sharp or remember things better or whatnot... not really sure. I am definitely more social and when I look at myself in the mirror I don't feel like a lame, don't look all drugged out heroin sheik (chic?)... Aren't you supposed to cough up a lung of black tarry nasty phlegm after quitting smoking? I never did this time, I have when I've quit before, tho those times were just a couple of white knuckle weeks, but after more than 3 months off cigs and weed no phlegm... hmm... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 So do you notice anything different now that you've stopped smoking? I don't really. Can't say that I feel more sharp or remember things better or whatnot... not really sure. I am definitely more social and when I look at myself in the mirror I don't feel like a lame, don't look all drugged out heroin sheik (chic?)... Aren't you supposed to cough up a lung of black tarry nasty phlegm after quitting smoking? I never did this time, I have when I've quit before, tho those times were just a couple of white knuckle weeks, but after more than 3 months off cigs and weed no phlegm... hmm... Well, i am still smoking weed. Not daily. If i go drink at my friends house we always end up smoking, but i refrain from it for the most part unless i am drinking. The alcohol helps take away the social anxiety. If i do smoke without drinking, it is alone, at home. Couple hits, watch some family guy. But i don't even enjoy it like i used to. It's like i am trying to force myself to like it again. Like, right now i want to smoke just because i am bored, but i know i wouldn't even enjoy it much.I'd like to stop completely, along with cigs. And i cough up black phlegm sometimes. When i blow my nose too. Not good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Did you guys find yourself feeling more angry or sad when/while quitting? I find that i am rarely sad. I actually either have a good day or an angry day. I find myself having a VERY short temper. This is unlike me. I never was one with much anger prior to the adderall. Now i have little patience. When driving, i scream at the other morons that somehow got their license. In class, i keep it to myself, but my facial expressions quite obviously show how fed up i am by the annoying ass know-it-alls in my class. My therapist thinks i may be bipolar. Since getting off the adderall it has become a bit more obvious to me. On adderall, it was a given that i would have major ups and downs. The high and the crash, but i am going on 2 weeks sober and my 'emotions' are sporadic. Not just one day being up and the next down, but one minute up, the next down. For instance, today i was pissed and angry, my mom was talking to me, asked if i was mad. I said no. Then 5 minutes later i am cracking jokes, laughing like a complete maniac, and grinning ear to ear. I felt this crazed energy and i wanted to scream and laugh at the top of my lungs. Fast forward 20 minutes later and i want to yell in anger. WTF I wonder if adderall brings out underlying anger issues. I know someone who has always had some deep underlying anger and depression and stuff, but who before taking adderall was sociable and sad, only sometimes angry. She's on a huge adderall roller coaster and gets extremely angry and frustrated very frequently now. It's scary and sad. I mean she actually did get angry like that previously, but its become way worse. Me, I used to be more angry on adderall. Now I've mellowed out. I cry and get depressed a lot more easily but I blame that on withdrawals. I have the same amount of anxiety now as when I was taking adderall, but it's changed its form somehow. In any case....emotional lability. WOW. It's super intense after being a robot-zombie for so long!! I guess we have to actually deal with our shit now. At least now we can recognize it for what it is...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 I wonder if adderall brings out underlying anger issues. I know someone who has always had some deep underlying anger and depression and stuff, but who before taking adderall was sociable and sad, only sometimes angry. She's on a huge adderall roller coaster and gets extremely angry and frustrated very frequently now. It's scary and sad. I mean she actually did get angry like that previously, but its become way worse. Me, I used to be more angry on adderall. Now I've mellowed out. I cry and get depressed a lot more easily but I blame that on withdrawals. I have the same amount of anxiety now as when I was taking adderall, but it's changed its form somehow. In any case....emotional lability. WOW. It's super intense after being a robot-zombie for so long!! I guess we have to actually deal with our shit now. At least now we can recognize it for what it is...... Truer words never spoken m'lady.I love/hate feeling compassion towards others again. I love it on days like today for example. We had this guest speaker come to school. You know me, all add-like and what not, can't focus on a dude speaking for an hour straight. To my surprise i was 110% focused the entire time. He came to lecture on how to run a successful business, but he talked a lot about respect, treating people with respect, being open minded, spending your time doing good things, making sacrifices now that will benefit you in the future. He talked about how his wife nearly died. I felt SO much emotion listening to him speak. I really took something from that, which is more than i could ever say if i had been on adderall. I would've dismissed his words as fake and unrealistic. Instead, i nearly cried when he was telling his stories! Good tears, sad tears. But then comes the negatives of feeling. Like actually feeling bad when i hurt someones feelings or am doing something morally wrong. But, numbing my feelings towards my bad behavior will not change me for the better. I would've just become more and more of a horrible person. RAMBLE. Sorry. & as you know, my anxiety is there now even without the adderall. More-so now even, but i can deal better. I don't feel the desire to down 10 shots of vodka just to take the edge off now. xox 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted February 28, 2013 Report Share Posted February 28, 2013 Hahaha, this totally just reminded me of one day two summers ago. I was sitting on the beach reading Psychology Today magazine. Reading an article about highly sensitive people. Identifying with everything that was said about "highly sensitive people," people who feel emotions especially strongly, who tend to be very perceptive and creative....The thing is, I was reading this WHILE POPPING ADDERALL! Hahaha! Here's an article about it.... http://www.hsperson.com/pages/hsp.htm Anyway, I wonder if there is any correlation between highly sensitive people and the draw towards adderall? OR, a correlation between highly sensitive people, ADD/ADHD, and possibly adderall? Hmmmm........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 I'm screwing this quote thing big time I'm thinkin...but absolutely not quit once...never thought about any of that ...well kinda I did cuz I was living the insert in some ways. But as far as pharmaceutical propoganda.....uh,uh.Heather. did you ever read an addie info insert? In denial, addicts usually want nothing to do with that kind of information. I rarely looked them. Sky: Agro = anger+aggrevation? new word to me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 Told ya...a quote in a quote for me to quote????? Are you serious? ??? Scarey out the gate. LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 Heather you are fucking with us on the quote in a quote to see your quote and raise you...another quote! When are we goin to Vegas? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 Hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 Oh, Heather, you crazy cat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddw5053 Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 Same. I get mad at the little things, like if I cant get my shoe off right away after untying them haha really wierd. And the smart know it alls in class definitely!!! But I agree other people in that its way to early to diagnose anyone bipolar this early cuz your definitely gonna be feeling all kinds of shit. I wonder that about myself too, but the I ask myself if I never took one adderall, would I feel bipolar? Or if I was clean for a year would I feel bipolar? probably not 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted March 2, 2013 Report Share Posted March 2, 2013 You'll be amazed at how "normal" you can feel after being free and clean for a year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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