Heather67 Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 So,when I was doing my thing with adderall..I handled it all with multiple doctors prescribing various mgs. I would have to go outside my own town often...and I had one psych APRN up in a town called Warwick its the furthest out I traveled for a prescriber...like 45 min. From my town...she was a strange one...her office was outta her home...she never seemed to hear things I said to her ...and I recall her saying she was leaving a script taped to the door for me the day after Thanksgiving ...so I hauled my kid all the way there to find it NOT ON THE DOOR. Freaking out.I was ...weekend coming up..had none. She was seeing other patients and I was manically calling and leaving messages..asking patients going in.yo tell her I was there....I'm sure it was apparent to her I was a drug seeker...who fuckin cares about later ....I WANT MY FUCKIN SCRIPT NOW. I finally got it..and she did suggest I get someone closer to home....whatever...I went to Walgreens and had a rather pleasant ride home. My point is coming...today my mother and I took my son to the airport up there to watch the big planes,its like 3 minutes from this APRN's house...and I found myself mixed between "how fucked up was I" at that point....and "it'd be kinda cool to cop another script(tho that wouldn't happen)...I had the sensation.of the last time I was there...it was very specific and deja vu. Feeling. Shitty for being so desperate,pathetic and obvious.....and feeling happy and euphoric that it got me my pills. Its weird ...it was a strange day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 lol thanks for sharing! it was nice to realize that that was behind you though? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted March 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 Yeah,it was. Its maybe just the general doing and feeling of anything without it being the adderall enhanced feeling. That seems to take awhile to really get used to...well,for me anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 How long has it been? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted March 3, 2013 Report Share Posted March 3, 2013 Omg, you just totally took me back in time! I can so relate to that scenario. I used to be so paranoid thinking the docs knew I was an addict and they were on to me. It seemed like it never failed..whenever I needed my script, something would go wrong! I'd be waiting..counting down the days until it was ready, then boom! I'd call and they'd say something happened and it was too early or they wouldn't have it till Monday, or whatever, etc. I would go ape shit!!! Then I'd have to find other ways of getting messed up until the day it was ready. It just always seemed like something would go wrong and I was at their mercy. And I HATED that feeling of someone else having all control over my life. I was a freaking SLAVE to that drug. FREEDOM is the gift today. Nothing controls me today besides ME. Best feeling in the world. Thanks for the reminder! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 How long has it been? its been almost 2 and a half months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted March 4, 2013 Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 Good for you girlfriend! 8 weeks for me tomorrow so hearing your posts is like looking into a crystal ball I still have those feelings of anticipation when I see my doc even though it's just for run of the mill antidepressants. Fortunately they are short and fleeting. It feels good though that I don't have to run straight from doctor's office to pharmacy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted March 4, 2013 Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 Thanks for sharing, Heather. Must've been a strange feeling, seeing all that landscape and stuff you hadn't seen since your life changed so dramatically. Its amazing how places can bring back such floods of memories and emotions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted March 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 4, 2013 Hi-5 on that one!!! Those moments of intense panic have been removed." How the fuck am I paying for these"...when $$$ is what stands between you and your "meds" the mind wanders to strange places. Lol. Those were crazy,crazy moments that easily induced screaming from me until the mission was complete,then instantly happy in a twisted and psuedo way. Time is more easily managed when not questing for the plastic bottle with the child proof cap. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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