Cost Benefit Analysis

[LILTEX41]

Hey everyone! This is for anyone out there who is struggling with the idea of quitting an addiction. I wanted to share it because I know there are a lot of people that come to this board and are probably very ambivalent to the idea of change. I struggled with sobriety for a LONG time. I'm talking over 15 years of being back and forth. It wasn't until I found this tool that my sobriety finally stuck. Hope you find it as helpful as I did. I got it from Smart Recovery. Enjoy!

Four Questions About My Addiction

Using the CBA (Cost-Benefit Analysis Tool)

1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)?

List as many things as you can that you liked about whatever you are/were addicted to.

a. Where possible, find alternative ways of achieving the same goals.

b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign.

c. Realize that there are some things you liked about the addiction you will have to learn to live without.

d. List what you enjoy about your addiction so you can ask yourself if it is really worth the price. e.

Realize that you aren't stupid; you did get something from your addiction. It just may not be working on your behalf anymore.

2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?

List as many of the bad, undesirable results of your addiction as you can. Here it is extremely important that you use specific examples. Specific examples have much greater emotional impact and motivational force!

a. Ask yourself honestly "If my addiction was a used car, would I pay this much for it?"

b. Review this list often, especially if you are having a lot of positive, happy thoughts about all the great things your addiction did for you.

3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?

List what good things you think/fantasize will happen when you stop your addiction.

a. This provides you with a list of goals to achieve and things to look forward to as a result of your new addiction free lifestyle.

b. This list also helps you to reality test your expectations. If they are unrealistic, they can lead to a disappointment based relapse.

4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?

List what you think you are going to hate, dread or merely dislike about living without your addiction.

a. This list tells you what kinds of new coping skills, behaviors and lifestyle changes you need to develop in order to stay addiction free.

b. It also serves as another relapse warning list. If all you think about is how much life sucks now that you are not doing your addiction, you are in a relapse thought pattern that is just as dangerous as only focusing on what you liked about your addiction.

Notes

This is not a do once and forget about it exercise. It is an ongoing project. Most people simply can't remember all of the positive and negative aspects of addiction and recovery at any one time.

Furthermore, seeing all the negative consequences of addiction listed in one place is very powerful. On the positive side, no one really knows what they like or don't like about living free of their addiction until they have done so for some time. I know of people who continued to add items to all four questions for a full 6 months.

See Also: CBA Worksheet

[waronwar]

Thanks for sharing... I have seen that website and forgot where I had seen it and all of the helpful tools/activities. I am going to work on this asap and visit the site too!

[waronwar]

Also, are you or were you a user of smart recovery? I'm curious also if you are sober or at least free from whatever your addiction/s were?

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

This is fantastic, LILTEX - thank you for sharing! I hope this doesn't get lost in the forums, as it's a really helpful tool.... maybe post it in the Announcements section which tends to be a bit less active and less likely to get hidden, what do you think?

[LILTEX41]

Also, are you or were you a user of smart recovery? I'm curious also if you are sober or at least free from whatever your addiction/s were?

Waronwar,

I am sober from everything..adderall being my number#1 addiction. This is probably not very bright to put this on a public forum, but sometimes I feel like the more honest I am about it..the more it helps me to stay clean.

My previous using history kinda went like this:

Pop adderall from the moment I wake up and take it every @ 3 hours and 40 mins

Smoke @ a pack of cigs a day

Get off work and drink / smoke pot every night till @ 3 -4am...wake up and repeat

During times when adderall was not around...other drugs were substituted here and there..

Days off from work...mix of adderall to get chores done..then heavy partying as soon as work accomplished..ok I need to stop I am getting triggered..

Anyhow, I went to rehab and quit everything cold turkey. Quit smoking the day I went into the emergency room and been clean from everything for almost 28 months (besides one bender on alcohol and pot for 2 weeks last september).

So that's the old cycle. It was nuts. I'm sure a lot of people on here can relate though.

So did you visit the website? If so, what did you think?

[LILTEX41]

This is fantastic, LILTEX - thank you for sharing! I hope this doesn't get lost in the forums, as it's a really helpful tool.... maybe post it in the Announcements section which tends to be a bit less active and less likely to get hidden, what do you think?

So glad you like it! I found it so helpful for all the times I really want to drink. I just look at the list of ALL the bad terrible things of my past and constantly remind myself that's the kind of bs I will fall back into if I start using again. I mean I literally dug up every bad incident I could possibly think of and wrote them down in black and white. I just try to imagine what my life will look like in the next 20 years if I continue living it the way I did the past 20 years and that makes it good enough reason to not want to use again. I find that my using brain wants to conveniently forget all the bad things when it wants to get messed up again so this little list is pretty helpful.

Like your idea about posting it in the announcements section. I'll do that now. Did you make your list?

[waronwar]

LILTEX,

Yes, I visted the website and think it seems like a really good place for support. I'm not sure I get the whole thing though. I wondered if you could start in an anonymous way or if it is a meetings everyday, tell your name kind of thing. Anyway, I like the tools and things they have available. Please share anything else like this if you think it will be helpful... for me I really like homework and tools to help me work through the stuff in my head. Adderall is the only thing that has really gripped me like this.

Thanks for sharing!

[LILTEX41]

Hi Wagonwar,

Yes, you are completely anonymous if you do the online meetings. All you would need to do is make a username and password. They have voice meetings and text meetings. You're in a chat room with 35 people. There will be a meeting facilitator who runs the meeting and helps introduce the Smart tools as needed. The facilitator starts the meeting by doing a brief check in with everyone to see how everyone is doing and then generates topics gathered from the issues that come up during the check ins. You can go to a face to face meeting if there are any in your area. Mainly, the program teaches self empowerment and self management. The program is founded on the belief that recovery is a choice and we have the power and capability to overcome our urges, manage our emotions/feelings, and work to achieve greater lifestyle balance. One of the main concepts is that one is often driven to substance abuse due to irrational beliefs and distorted thinking patterns. There is an ABC tool that is used and can be put into practice whenever you have an urge. I will post it if you'd like. It is key for developing self awareness so that you can learn to overcome cravings.

I tried to post the Cost Benefit Analysis, but I am unable to paste the format into this post for some reason. However, I'll just do the sloppy version so you can see what it looks like. Basically, you draw a square with four boxes. In the top half you list the advantages and disadvantages of using the substance or behavior and then in the bottom half you would list all the advantages and disadvantages of not using the substance or engaging in the behavior.

Here we go!

DRINKING AND DOING DRUGS

ADVANTAGES (BENEFITS & REWARDS)

Numb uncomfortable feelings

Tastes good

Distracts from depression

Cleaning the crap out of my apartment and getting organized

Having an advantage at work

DISADVANTAGES (COSTS & RISKS)

Amy's Wedding

Crashing car into curb on 1960

Emergency Room 3x

GHB – date rape

Getting Used by shady people

Feeling on edge, tense, scared, panicked, and paranoid

Waking up to a stranger

Feeling tormented by inability to be like normal people who stop after a few drinks..always needing more

Hangover's

Sadness watching fit people jogging in the morning as rolling home from a late night party and being up all night tweaked out...wishing I was back to my training days

Worry over people knowing what I'd done and having to keep secrets from everyone I love

Smoking

Shame, guilt, embarrasment, fear, hostility, regret, sorrow, sadness, stress, and hyper sensitivity

Hanging out with dark shady people, but knowing they are the only people who party like me

Intense CRAVINGS for hard core drugs when drunk

Dating a fellow alcoholic/addict - toxic abusive relationship pattern

Unwanted sexual partners

Wasting Money (thousands of dollars of the years)

HOPELESS DEPRESSION

Feeling like a worthless sack of shit

Adderall induced career obsession, but shaking like a junkie in the office and feeling paranoid everyone can see right through it

Weakness

Feeling father's shame over knowing I'm drinking again

[LILTEX41]

NOT DRINKING AND DOING DRUGS

ADVANTAGES (BENEFITS & REWARDS)

OPPORTUNITY to fulfill my destiny

Feeling good about myself for the first time ever

Have a ripped and hot fit body through exercise

Saving money

No fear of jail, crashing car, losing job

Mend relationships with family and friends

No HANGOVER

Soul feels GOOD

NO sweaty armpits from adderall and smelling like a chimney of cigarettes

Sex with a real lover (not a predator)

HEALING emotional problems

Finding myself and nourishing my soul

Helping OTHERS

Inner Strength

Being in God's Will

Journey to an alternate HOPEFUL LIFE

FAITH that it will get better

PROMISE of a new day

Finding a best friend and companion is possible

Knowing the best years of my life is yet to come

GROWING emotionally and spiritually

LEARNING about faith

More challenging than using, but also way MORE rewarding

DISADVANTAGES (COSTS & RISKS)

Have to work harder to stay clean / organized

Have to figure out how to be happy sober

Have to solve emotional problems

Will require patience and effort learning how to cope with problems sober

Coping with lonliness

Dealing with depression

Miss social bonding with ease and laughing

[ashley6]

LilTex,

This is really good...thanks for sharing. So, I see that you abstain from all substances. Are you am alcoholic as well? I know the AA mentality is to stay clean from everything. I drink sometimes, but I'm not an alcoholic. My counselor has scared me a little because she lives by the AA mentality, complete sobriety from everything, I just don't think alcohol is an issue for me, and I'm just curious if it is for you or complete sobriety is a lifestyle choice. I always love reading your insight on things!

[LILTEX41]

Awe, thanks! Glad you liked it.

Well, I don't use labels so I can't really say whether I was an alcoholic or not. I definitely had a substance abuse problem with both drugs and alcohol, but now I do not because I abstain from all of them. I was a hard core binge drinker and had a lot of problems because of it. I was never one of those people that could have a couple drinks and be happy. I'd drink before the party, during, and after until I passed out or blacked out. Within a few days of the first time I ever drank (13) I wound up in the emergency room. At age 14 I got in trouble at a school dance and was sent to Outpatient rehab. From then until 28 months ago I tried to get sober through AA, but never stayed sober longer than a year. I was constantly in and out of sobriety. In 2004 I had a year of sobriety, but then started taking ritalin. I swear the ritalin is what triggered me to want to start drinking again. Within 4 months after starting ritalin/concerta, I started drinking again..and it was down hill from there. Once I switched from concerta to adderall...well my life really got crazy. Looking back, I realized I was messed up 24/7 for 5 years straight. Adderall all day, drink, smoke pot at night. When adderall ran out...whatever else I could get my hands on. It was a mess. For me, I know it is not possible to do one without the other. If I were to try and drink alcohol, I would crave pot, cigarettes, drugs, and adderall. But that's just me though and everyone is different. I'm kind of intense like that. I wish I could be someone who could moderate, but that's just not the way I'm built. I'd love to think someday I could try again, but I feel like it's just too risky and I'm done trying to fight the battle.

That's really great alcohol is not an issue you though! You didn't drink when you took adderall?

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Llltex, thank you so much for sharing this journey. I don't know that I realized the extent of your challenges. Perhaps because you seem so strong and together and gorgeous and focused and generous and understanding these days, and you have achieved so much with your athletics and balancing your life, I assumed that your challenges weren't nearly as acute as they in fact were. I'm all the more humbled and impressed you share your time and insights with people here.

Just wanted to say that.

[ashley6]

LilTex,

Goodness, you've had quite the journey. I agree with MFA, I'm shocked at how much you've dealt with. I had no idea. That's really amazing that you've bounced back from so much addiction, and doing it very well!! I mean, Ironman...wow!

No, I didn't like to drink on adderall at all. I did once in awhile, but being super anti-social, I rarely did, and didn't like it. Thanks for sharing your story...quite inspirational.

[LILTEX41]

MFA,

Oh my gosh!! Thank you SOOOOO much!! That makes my heart melt. You just made my night. I think all of you are so AWESOME and I love being able to help others in any way I can. I still have a long way to go at times...for me I still have "eating" issues that pop up, but I tell myself better it be food issues than going back to drugs/alcohol. At least the food won't land me in jail or an emergency room again, ya know? I believe that the longer we stay on the right path, the closer we are to reaching our final destiny in the end.

Again, thanks so much. You're so kind! Love you guys!