Popular Post Motivation_Follows_Action Posted March 31, 2013 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 Hey all, well this chapter is coming to a close and I begin my "new life" tomorrow. I haven't been this sedentary probably ever in my life. It's like 5 months have practically disappeared... honestly I don't remember too much of them, except that I felt a lot of tiredness, heaviness and impatience. I'm glad to put this behind me! A few lessons I've learned that probably should have been drilled in to me at a younger age, but better late than never: 1) I'm no different to anyone else. I know that sounds basic, but for so much of my life I had thought I was holding myself to a "higher standard" of productivity and performance. This kind of thinking is what led me to adderall and to addiction which eventually destroyed me. 2) There are no shortcuts. We say it a lot here but I'll reiterate it. You reap what you sew. If you go 3x as fast and do 3x what you're supposed to do, you will eventually have to go backwards x3 and do -3x what you did before. 3) It's ok to admit failure without wallowing in an endless self-shaming pity party. Admitting failure and learning lessons but moving on is so hard to do! Actually, it's easier to become overly introspective, because if you do that you're not looking ahead. Picking my head up from my navel and moving forward was the only thing that got me out of my depression and post-adderall slump. I haven't been sleeping well lately but most of the time I'm pretty good. I spent a day doing things I never could have done on adderall: cleaning out my wardrobe, going through old files and spring cleaning, and writing to my family. Basically stuff on my to do list. Do I feel ready? Yes. Will I make mistakes? Yes. Will it take a lot of humility? Yes. Will it take a lot of energy I'm not sure I have? Yes. But bring it on! I'm sure I'll be back next week a blubbering mess.... Thank you all my quitting adderall friends for standing beside me to date and helping me every step of the way. I couldn't have done it without you. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 I am so excited for you!!!! Congratulations!!! You are going to kick ass - I know it! You sound so great and I LOVE your new pic. You are literally back on your feet again! HOORAY!! Can't wait to hear how it goes tomorrow. Thinking of you and will say some prayers for you tonight my friend! Hugs! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted March 31, 2013 Report Share Posted March 31, 2013 You are so down-to-earth with a sure-fire winning attitude and I for one have surely benefitted from your wisdom. I know you are going to rock it and wish you great success! xoxo 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted April 1, 2013 Report Share Posted April 1, 2013 MFA those are some really wise and powerful lessons in the wake of what we've been through and I think all of us would benefit if we listen to what you are saying. Thanks for sharing. In terms of work -- go get em. You sound excited and I bet it's going to go great. I would think of this not only as you going back to work and earning income,, but as an opportunity to continue developing yourself as a self reliant person without adderall. You are really doing two important things here not only toward your work but towards your own self development. Best of luck! Look forward to hearing how it goes. Very excited for you! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted April 1, 2013 Report Share Posted April 1, 2013 Oh, I'm so happy for you. I love the lessons you highlighted, as this is what recovery is all about. Still working on those, and you always put it into words that make me think aha! You're going to do great! Good luck (but you don't need it because you've got this). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 SOOOOO???? How did it go today??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Motivation_Follows_Action Posted April 2, 2013 Author Popular Post Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Well I am now sitting in a deli waiting for my first client meeting - on day 2! All the usual feelings of confusion, excitement, anticipation yesterday. The office has a friendly atmosphere and is a lot more laid back than an investment banking environment, which is nice! I left about 6pm and was amongst the last to leave... Also nice. The most reassuring thing was the lack of panic and paranoia that accompanied me everywhere in my last job.... All related to adderall. I felt somehow more internally honest, more connected, more able to follow lines of thinking rather than being distracted by all the millions of thoughts crowding my brain when I was high. Also although my organizational skills aren't what they used to be, when I was on adderall I had a really bad time remembering where I'd put things, and half the time I couldn't understand the notes I'd taken. It is nice not to feel like such a disorganized mess. Of course I was exhausted! Went to bed at 9pm, fell asleep on the subway home etc, but that is all to be expected. Being off adderall and starting a new job, afresh, is a rewarding experience. Thanks for asking! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted April 2, 2013 Report Share Posted April 2, 2013 Hey all, well this chapter is coming to a close and I begin my "new life" tomorrow. I haven't been this sedentary probably ever in my life. It's like 5 months have practically disappeared... honestly I don't remember too much of them, except that I felt a lot of tiredness, heaviness and impatience. I'm glad to put this behind me! A few lessons I've learned that probably should have been drilled in to me at a younger age, but better late than never: 1) I'm no different to anyone else. I know that sounds basic, but for so much of my life I had thought I was holding myself to a "higher standard" of productivity and performance. This kind of thinking is what led me to adderall and to addiction which eventually destroyed me. 2) There are no shortcuts. We say it a lot here but I'll reiterate it. You reap what you sew. If you go 3x as fast and do 3x what you're supposed to do, you will eventually have to go backwards x3 and do -3x what you did before. 3) It's ok to admit failure without wallowing in an endless self-shaming pity party. Admitting failure and learning lessons but moving on is so hard to do! Actually, it's easier to become overly introspective, because if you do that you're not looking ahead. Picking my head up from my navel and moving forward was the only thing that got me out of my depression and post-adderall slump. I haven't been sleeping well lately but most of the time I'm pretty good. I spent a day doing things I never could have done on adderall: cleaning out my wardrobe, going through old files and spring cleaning, and writing to my family. Basically stuff on my to do list. Do I feel ready? Yes. Will I make mistakes? Yes. Will it take a lot of humility? Yes. Will it take a lot of energy I'm not sure I have? Yes. But bring it on! I'm sure I'll be back next week a blubbering mess.... Thank you all my quitting adderall friends for standing beside me to date and helping me every step of the way. I couldn't have done it without you. Great job! Better late than never, right? This is a new chapter in your life and i know you will succeed!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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