memory & amphetamine abuse

[trey]

Hi all - i haven't posted in a couple of years.. I didn't go back on the drug full-time. Maybe a couple of 6-month scripts but many months without it, as well as binges, flushing a few scripts down the toilet, illicit speed, whatever. Kind of boring story.

I wanted to post a link about amphetamines that i really enjoyed. But also it touches on why users may find it real difficult to learn their lesson about speed. (My intro is a case in point) I found it a good reference about unique aspects of amphetamine addiction, and possible stages of use over time.

Most interesting bit to me was about memory formation for amphetamine addicts. Apologies if this same thing has been posted on already. I'm sure some of the excellent info on this site has discussed similar/same implications:

"...the user forgets how unbearable the negative sensations are (due to amphetamine compromising the brain's ability to efficiently make memories, especially goal-orientated memories); by the next day, even though the user may have told himself to not take amphetamine, he takes amphetamine again anyways (due to the brain not being able to make a goal-orientated memory, the brain was unable to produce counter-motivation to stop the user from taking more amphetamine the next day). This might possibly be the most psychologically painful and strenuous phase for the amphetamine user, since he is unable to figure out why he keeps taking amphetamine even though he clearly knows it only causes him pain."

http://www.bluelight...u-Learn-to-Hate

To re-cap my reason for quitting, as much to myself as to those reading: no real Work or personal evolution is possible for me on dexedrine. The process of goals/efforts/victories can be personally unique, but also follow certain natural laws. Some of these laws can feel harsh.

I feel the greater the tasks are that you want to achieve, the more you owe it to yourself to remove crutches And get back in touch with those natural laws of process, harsh as they may seem.

Best wishes to all.

[Greg]

Thanks for posting this. We have another thread about the stages u linked to, but I am rereading them. It is always a good reminder to know what the hell is happening to you and inside your brain as you get hooked on speed.

I think stage 3 is a really dangerous stage to be in because there is a false sense of safety in that stage. The stage where you are using adderall as a tool to get things done. Because during this stage it's easy to be like I'm not doing anything wrong..otherwise they wouldn't legally prescribe adderall..so it's hard to fully realize the addiction has begun. At least that was the case with me. I had a false sense of safety when taking it, but really I was slipping into addiction while feeling safe.

To address your quote. That is a scary thing about aphetamine addiction, not being able to produce counter motivation to stop..when I was quitting, I really paid attention to this, almost like a disability that I had to watch out for at all times...I was hawkish about it.

it is also something that we work on a lot on this forum..counter motivation, and reminding ourselves constantly how destructive it is to us.

[LILTEX41]

Great to hear from you Trey! You have my support 100%. You CAN do this and sounds like you're ready to find a happier way of life. I'm starting to realize so many of us here just have to let Adderall run it's course. I had my share of ups and downs, but towards the end the downs outweighed the ups by so much, it just wasn't worth it anymore. I couldn't go on living in that hell.

I am rooting for you. You GOT this!!

Hugs!

[quit-once]

I think stage 3 is a really dangerous stage to be in because there is a false sense of safety in that stage. The stage where you are using adderall as a tool to get things done. Because during this stage it's easy to be like I'm not doing anything wrong..otherwise they wouldn't legally prescribe adderall..so it's hard to fully realize the addiction has begun. At least that was the case with me. I had a false sense of safety when taking it, but really I was slipping into addiction while feeling safe.

I got stuck in stage 3 for seven years. As long as I had at least three full days per week away from adderall it always worked as desired. Of course I did not realize how worhtless I was during those three days of amphetamine withdrawl from my weekend binges. I had the same false sense of safety - "as long as I could quit and recover each week I wasn't an addict, right?" haha.

Regarding the topic thread (memory and amphetamines) here: I have recently discovered that the lions mane mushroom supplement is the real deal. Been taking it for about a week, most days. No bad things happened on the days I didn't take it. Better memory, better mood, sharper focus, and greater mental clarity. task completion. better decisions and clearer thinking. I'm not kidding, this stuff is great. And it worked for me right away.

[BeHereNow]

Hi all - i haven't posted in a couple of years.. I didn't go back on the drug full-time. Maybe a couple of 6-month scripts but many months without it, as well as binges, flushing a few scripts down the toilet, illicit speed, whatever. Kind of boring story.

I wanted to post a link about amphetamines that i really enjoyed. But also it touches on why users may find it real difficult to learn their lesson about speed. (My intro is a case in point) I found it a good reference about unique aspects of amphetamine addiction, and possible stages of use over time.

Most interesting bit to me was about memory formation for amphetamine addicts. Apologies if this same thing has been posted on already. I'm sure some of the excellent info on this site has discussed similar/same implications:

"...the user forgets how unbearable the negative sensations are (due to amphetamine compromising the brain's ability to efficiently make memories, especially goal-orientated memories); by the next day, even though the user may have told himself to not take amphetamine, he takes amphetamine again anyways (due to the brain not being able to make a goal-orientated memory, the brain was unable to produce counter-motivation to stop the user from taking more amphetamine the next day). This might possibly be the most psychologically painful and strenuous phase for the amphetamine user, since he is unable to figure out why he keeps taking amphetamine even though he clearly knows it only causes him pain."

http://www.bluelight...u-Learn-to-Hate

To re-cap my reason for quitting, as much to myself as to those reading: no real Work or personal evolution is possible for me on dexedrine. The process of goals/efforts/victories can be personally unique, but also follow certain natural laws. Some of these laws can feel harsh.

I feel the greater the tasks are that you want to achieve, the more you owe it to yourself to remove crutches And get back in touch with those natural laws of process, harsh as they may seem.

Best wishes to all.

This might be stating the obvious, but I'll just state it anyway: The impaired memory formation has got to be part of the reason why people relapse. Especially after long periods of time (more time for the already impaired memories of the bad stuff to fade.)

[quit-once]

This might be stating the obvious, but I'll just state it anyway: The impaired memory formation has got to be part of the reason why people relapse. Especially after long periods of time (more time for the already impaired memories of the bad stuff to fade.)

that's why I keep hanging around here, even after 22 months. All these stories and struggles constantly remind me that I can never touch the shit ever again. I am only one pill (or a line or a toke) away from resuming my addiction.