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I'm impatient.


Kyle_Chaos

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I hate that I relapsed, I know dwelling on the past is illogical, but we aren't entirely logical beings so I do occasionally dwell on the past. If I hadn't relapsed I would be at the point around now when others have said they started to feel better, but no.. I'm at the two month mark (almost) I feel bland, boring, still putting on a mask daily and pretending to enjoy life day after day. Life is a fucking chore, maybe I should try some anti depressant other than Wellbutrin (which made me an emotionless robot)

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when you relapsed how much did you take? how many days? i wouldn't worry about it. i'd keep running. thats what im doing. running is the only thing that makes me feel really good at this point.

i thought you had reallly liked wellbutrin? you drank on it which was a bad idea. youre not supposed to. and then it sent you into a rage, didnt it?

i'm still fighting off taking any sort of antidepressant, but right now, my anxiety is through the roof and my depression isn't TERRIBLE but its not good either.

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If you do not dwell on the past you are doomed to repeat those past mistakes.

Three relapses ago I asked you to explore the reasons that you relapsed but you never did, at least not here.

How many times have you relapsed?

What was the driving factor causing each relapse - was it the same thing each time or was it for different reasons?

What was the duration and dosages of your relapses?

What was different about the last relapse so that it can be your last one?

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I don't think dwelling on the past is healthy but remembering what relapse does to you is worthwhile not to forget, therefore you're less likely to repeat it. I agree with quit-once. You haven't shared with us what led to relapsing. Some of our members who have relapsed on here have gotten great feedback on getting back on track. Unfortunately, there's just no quick fix, Kyle. Hang in there. It'll get better.

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Kyle how many times have you given up and then relapsed? Twice? I imagine it gets harder each time to stick with your resolve, simply because it is a numbers game... Takes you that much longer to get to 90 days. But beating yourself up over it is going to prolong the agony too. Just take it day by day and don't think about tomorrow or yesterday.

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  • 2 months later...

I've wanted to quit an admitted I has a problem like 3 years ago really conciously tried and had therapist and cut ties with dealers ECt than I had alot of times I stopped for a bit and just pretended I didn't have a problem like I wake up keep busy keep my mind busy and avoid thinking about adderall or recovery steps

Maybe that's why I have tryes so hard to quit for good so many god damn times ove the past 3 years

This year I've been stretching my time off up to 2 weeks and binging for 2 days maybe 3

It used to be like 5 days 6 days binge

So that's good . But that little voice in my head says " yea right not good u suck"

My question is have I been -relapsing- for 3 years?

I really try and passionatly want to quit for good all these years but every 2-3 weeks I do it again

I hear some people talk about relapse 2-3 times than they are good

What's wrong with me

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