6 months off adderall - is it still early?

[Sebastian05]

hey guys. today is 6 months since i took my last adderall. for those of you who don't know my story, i was taking 10-20mg a day for about 4 and a half years. Of course, not being on the medicine is something I'm happy about, because I know its not something that someone can be on forever. I just miss feeling happy and positive and i really hate being as depressed as i am.

i'm still feeling pretty down and still not sleeping soundly. This was never an issue while i was taking adderall and I just have no idea when things are finally going to level off. I still have bad bouts of anxiety as well. That is something that is certainly messing with my sleep. I have some xanax that was prescribed to me a long time ago. I try not to take it, but sunday morning, i woke up at around 5 am and i just couldn't fall back asleep because im always so worried about work and life. I rolled over in bed and reached into my night stand and took .25 of xanax and just laid on my back and took deep breaths until i was actually able to fall back asleep till about 10:00am which i was so thankful for.

Is 6 months off adderall still pretty early on? will things be getting better? Every day is such a mission to get through, but im doing the best i can. People say they felt like zombies on adderall. I don't really know what that means or how to relate because ever since i stopped taking it, i feel like i've turned into a zombie of sorts. I just feel really sad and down and even when im out with friends, i feel like i run out of things to say or talk about and then just end up kinda just sitting there and playing with my cell phone.

The depression and anxiety that set in after quitting adderall have been terrible. I seriously don't remember the last time I was REALLY excited or happy about something and that just breaks my heart so much.

I've really started to wonder if there is something severely wrong with me, and I really hope there isnt. Am i bi-polar? Am i schizo? i really hope not. Maybe I'm watching too many youtube videos. I don't know. But the one thing I do know is that I'm very down and I've lost interest in so much.

All i look forward to every day when I wake up is coming home from work, going to the gym to do some cardio and sweat a ton and make myself physically tired so i can just go home and sit on the couch and watch some TV an fall asleep. This is no way to live.

I still cry everyday and feel sad and I'm pretty worried about what to even do next. I really am not happy with my job and i've been interviewing for others and I may have a potentially good offer coming up soon. I'm just scared to death about being able to perform at a new place and scared to death that this depression won't lift.

As I posted before, I tried wellbutrin for a few days and my ears started ringing pretty badly. I told my doctor and he told me to stop the meds immediateliy. It took 2-3 weeks for the ringing to go away, and its gone for the most part. I still have some remnants of it though.

So now I don't even know if i should try another anti-depressant or keep on keepin on and waiting things out.

My confidence levels have gone way down and that is part of the reason why I'm so scared about potentially taking a new job and quitting the one i'm currently at.

So guys, is 6 months still early? Can i expect the depression and loss of self esteem and self confidence to get better? Just hoping that I start feeling better about my life. I know I have a lot to be thankful and grateful for...i just wish some happiness would set in already.

Thanks guys.

S

[NaturalBrainPower]

The problem is (for me atleast) Adderall/Vyvanse gives me a surge of happiness/confidence/day looks much brighter kind of effect and that over time is the new normal. I haven't quite reach 6 months yet, more like almost 4 months.. The withdrawals are pretty much over (physical) *BUT* I do miss big time the memories of the instant artificial 'happiness/confidence/day looks much brighter' feeling. How is your diet ? I am a huge advocate of right diet along with heavy weight training (not to a point where you are overtraining). Btw, my dosages were around 100mg to 140mg vyvanse a day.

[Cassie]

Yes, it's still early. 6 months is not a long time to be off a drug.

[Sebastian05]

My diet is pretty clean. I don't eat junk and eat lots of fruits and vegetables. The problem is is that I used to get really excited about eating and cooking and that's gone. I've been a gym rat for about 15 years. My gym motivation has gone to hell, but I still force myself to go if only to do an hour of cardio. Everything has turned into a massive chore. I've definitely gained some bad weight too

I just got home from work and changed into my gym clothes. I'm making some coffee now and will go to the gym to do cardio for an hour or so. Not in the mood for lifting.

Overall, my positivity and happiness has gone down the drain and it seems to all point back to when I quit taking adderall. I hope to god every single damn day that i'll start feeling better soon. I'm trying so hard to be positive and I'm trying so hard to be happy.

I think im doing better than 6 months ago, but its still so rough. :/

[Krax]

Sebastian this sounds obvious, but couldn't the late afternoon coffee contribute to your difficulty sleeping, and your anxiety?

[Sebastian05]

i drink hardly any coffee ever anymore. my sleep is all screwed up no matter what. I'm using it as a little boost before i run. i'll go for a hard 1 hour cardio at the gym until im totally drenched thru and usually come home and sit in a really hot bath.

i RARELY drink coffee late. the sleep disruptions happen with or without the coffee. I just do not sleep restfully at all anymore. I used to sleep like a damn log.

[Jon]

• Stress from job disatisfaction can be a large contributor to sleep disruption as can the stress from looking for another job. I know this from experience. Stress can cause many a symptom with sleep disruption ranking high on the list of possibles. It's just a suggestion, but look to calming activities like meditation or yoga.Something to bridge you over your current job situation. All the best.
  

[BeHereNow]

I think 6 months is still pretty early. I'm at 6 months too and I'm still on the damn roller coaster. Sebastian did your dr recommend any other antidepressants? It sounds like you have a good and supportive doctor, which is pretty enviable actually. I know Wellbutrin works differently than other antidepressants, so maybe that's just not the right one for you? Supposedly Lexapro is good for depression and anxiety and starts working pretty quickly..... I tried it for 2 days and felt a little more stable in that time, though supposedly it takes a few weeks. Maybe it or something else could help you. I feel like maybe you should keep working with your dr. to figure out what's up, or what could help you through this adderall recovery so you don't have to keep suffering so much.

[quit-once]

I noticed an improvement in how I felt around nine months, but not before then. I just gradually quit thinking about it every five minutes and started feeling interested in making a life beyond adderall, but not until about nine months after quitting. I hope it is sooner for you, Sebastion. Hang in there.

[blesbro]

Sebastian,

I can completely relate with most of what you said. I am just past the 6 month mark and I really do miss that feeling of excitement and overall just having a positive outlook on life. When I hang out with friends, I'm almost always extremely bored and the main source of enjoyment I ever get is at the gym. Adderall made me confident, happier, and somehow made it impossible to feel depressed. Unfortunately, all these feelings were artificial and temporary and once the drug wore off the only way to get back to feeling that way was to take more. Hang in there man! Our turn to feel happy without it will come soon enough!

Blesbro

[catw66]

I have only been taking about 20 mg the last couple of months and now down to 10 mg and I feel about as depressed as ever. I really think that this can take a while or longer and there is such a thing as PAWS or post-acute withdrawal syndrome that can linger for a long time.

 

I am slated for ECT treatments as I've been that depressed the last few years (and actually disabled by it) and I just dropped further down, which I didn't think was possible. I am going to also rely on my yoga and supplements.

 

I also got a subscription to Lumosity.com and I feel that will possibly help the neuroplasticity of my brain - to find new ways to re-engage after being so long on not just Adderall, but other harmful psych meds for so many years by now.

 

Hang in there. I think it is not realistic for some people to feel better after just six months.

[Kevin86]

Hi Sebastian,

 

I've also been off of Adderall for around 6 months and can relate to the lack of desire to do anything.

 

Quitting Adderall also made me realize that Adderall was the only thing keeping me at my old job that I couldn't stand.  I decided to find a new job, and I hated every minute of the application/interview process.  I felt so accomplished, though, after finding a better job.  I realized I had no natural work ethic left after taking pills for 10 years, and finding a new job was a good first step in building that work ethic back up.

 

Now, at the new job, I am facing new challenges that are requiring me to continue building that work ethic, and it is getting better (it is still pretty bad, though).

 

For what its worth, I think building your natural character back up is a big part of the recovery process, and you should force yourself to do some of the things you really don't want to do.  After you overcome your challenges, you will realize that you didn't need that pill after all to be successful, and it feels good.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

If you think about it in terms of a chemical dependency, 6 months is still a short time for your brain to regain its own natural production and receptivity to dopamine.  Especially if you're not taking supplements/exercising/eating right.  

 

Sometimes we punish our bodies and brains for punishing us.  I am guilty of this.  Adderall has aged me and I'm still getting used to it.  

 

Be gentle with yourself, that's all.