Kevin86

Was there anything you remembered that might have triggered your PAWS episode?

Congratulations on going drug free. You can do it.

That is tough. Some events in life will leave painful memories forever. The pain will begin to subside with time. Drugs and therapy are a temporary fix, but time will heal your wounds.

Some motivators for me: -Being in a new environment where I need to prove my worth. -Knowing that every minute I work, when I don't want to, builds character. -Telling myself I will be better today then yesterday. -Relating to exercise, knowing that I will get a natural high after a good workout. -Having to support someone else.

Might be the stress of quitting is causing you to reach a breaking point, and release all of the emotions previously repressed. I'm no psychologist, though . I haven't had a big episode yet, 6 months in, keeping my fingers crossed. Hopefully you feel better soon.

LillyBeth, That is exactly how it went with me. I really had this need to be on it for all activities. It didn't start that way, but it ended up that way. Funny thing is, the adderall drove me to be socially isolated and filled with anxiety, and I would still take it before social events thinking I needed it. I had a 24 hour prescription, so I was effectively on it at all times, no matter what I was doing. Seems crazy looking back at it.

Hi Sebastian, I've also been off of Adderall for around 6 months and can relate to the lack of desire to do anything. Quitting Adderall also made me realize that Adderall was the only thing keeping me at my old job that I couldn't stand. I decided to find a new job, and I hated every minute of the application/interview process. I felt so accomplished, though, after finding a better job. I realized I had no natural work ethic left after taking pills for 10 years, and finding a new job was a good first step in building that work ethic back up. Now, at the new job, I am facing new challenges that are requiring me to continue building that work ethic, and it is getting better (it is still pretty bad, though). For what its worth, I think building your natural character back up is a big part of the recovery process, and you should force yourself to do some of the things you really don't want to do. After you overcome your challenges, you will realize that you didn't need that pill after all to be successful, and it feels good.