Heather67 Posted July 8, 2013 Report Share Posted July 8, 2013 Yup...and it sucks bad!! Gonna force myself to wash my hair soon ..and throw a load of laundry in..it's like 100 here too..that isn't helping. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted July 8, 2013 Report Share Posted July 8, 2013 Heather, Good job on the getting 4 days. The first days are the hardest to earn. I hope you are able to get a few essential things accompliched today. Believe me, I know how hard it is. I'm on day 16 after 12 years of continuous use. I'm sorry to know that your brain tricked you into thinking you could try controlled use. I know what that's like. I quit cigarette smoking for 25 years, then one day a friend offered me a cigar to celebrate the birth of his son. At first I said no, but he persisted and I had one. I remember my mind thinking "Well, it's not a cigarette". Next thing you know, I'm smoking 10 cigars a day and inhaling them just like cigarettes. It took me 4 years and 2 attempts before moving away from cigars. How clever the mind is. We have to be on guard forever. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2013 Thanks for the thoughts john. I have been down this road before and it is always confirmed that staying clean is easier than getting clean! !! And I have taken my own will back too many times now. Ill be happy if I get those 2 things done today. .hahaha ..they r my challenge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted July 8, 2013 Report Share Posted July 8, 2013 Heather, Very good to hear. Have you cut off your supplier(s)? You know we're here for you, woman. I doubt I washed my hair for the first 7 days of quitting, so that's an accomplishment. Hang in there and please keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2013 Yup..indeed I did Ashley. Got a new number and it does suck my car strait died ..but that aids in ending the chase also. I CANT walk with a child to hook up with this person or return that item for $$$$. The hustle is impossible via hoofing it. Or atleast I decided it had to be for me. And our clothes are in the wash I have a towel on my head...not sure if the conditioners all out but A for effort! ! Lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2013 And maybe its time to finally get around to picking up that Wellbutrin XR 100 mg script at the pharmacy ..it was called in about a month ago and was the last med on my mind at that time. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 Been a week...still freakin in my own skin it feels like!!!! Blaaahhh!!! I hate this..its soooo.vacant and empty feeling!!! Sucks....again and still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whosthisguy Posted July 11, 2013 Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 I hear you!! Some days are better than others. Just stick it out, you can do it Where are your pills? Maybe it is time to pick up your WB? If you suffer from pretty bad depression, that can make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, ya know? I'm sure you know, but WB is also one of the more stimulating antidepressants, which may be pretty cool for Adderall W/D. I have no idea, but you should give it a go! Also, the W/D from Wellbutrin could make you feel like that, too! There are a lot of factors that could influence your mood. Either way, we are here for you and keep us updated! Feel better *hugs* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashley6 Posted July 11, 2013 Report Share Posted July 11, 2013 Heather, It'll get better. You've done it before, so you know that. Keep it up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted August 4, 2013 Report Share Posted August 4, 2013 Heather, I'm just proud of you for posting when you're really down. You have friends and support here. The first whole was godawful for me and I'm lucky to be here to talk about it. So moan and bitch and cry. We are all here for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessa0412 Posted August 5, 2013 Report Share Posted August 5, 2013 Day 4 serial girl here. Do u guys think the SAME TRIGGERS get Us to relapS each time? I know there's lots of different components in relapsing and triggers and situations people even smells ECt but I was just thinking how repetitive and merry go round and compulsive my addiction is and relapsing . It's the same thing and feelings each time . Give in ( go invisible) regret beat myself up build myself back up stay clean repeat. So since that's so routine : than after awhile do our triggers get repetitive and routine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted August 5, 2013 Report Share Posted August 5, 2013 Day 4 serial girl here. Do u guys think the SAME TRIGGERS get Us to relapS each time? I know there's lots of different components in relapsing and triggers and situations people even smells ECt but I was just thinking how repetitive and merry go round and compulsive my addiction is and relapsing . It's the same thing and feelings each time . Give in ( go invisible) regret beat myself up build myself back up stay clean repeat. So since that's so routine : than after awhile do our triggers get repetitive and routine? Absolutely. Addiction is about habit, and habits are a form of exerting control over our lives. Therefore, addiction is about control (and we only get sober after we realize we've lost control). When I was addicted, I took my adderall like clockwork. I never missed a dose. Before I was addicted I took adderall recreationally - I didn't have a prescription. That was the proper way to take it, because it wasn't a habit. I wasn't using it to control my moods and actions as I was once I crossed the line into addiction. We may have a variety of triggers that lead us to relapse, but it all boils down to one thing: the fantasy that we can control it this time. Because it's the control that we crave. The addiction initally gives us the illusion of control and purpose, even though, as we eventually discover, its really the drug controlling us.One more thought: paradox governs our lives. We are creatures of habit but we also crave novelty and whimsy. That's why after awhile, addiction gets old, and often runs its course. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted August 7, 2013 Report Share Posted August 7, 2013 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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