Will I ever change

[tessa0412]

I decided adderall was bad for me and I had a serious problem about 2 3 years ago since than I've actively tryed to better myself making strides in growing and staying clean ( for 9 days at most) than find myself binged out blacked out in my own personal world of I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything than me and my adderall world that's spinning around my dizzy sleepy fucked up head. Than back on the therapy Positive I hate this stage for a week or so than back around again/ I'm still thereS I'm in therapy I'm trying I'm not getting change I don't know what else to do

[ashley6]

I believe you have to be ready to quit....not just ready because you know you should, but because you're sick and tired of being sick and tired of the drug running your life. A lot of people say you have to hit rock bottom, but everyone's rock bottom is different. My rock bottom was living off of other people, not finishing my college degree, working only to support my pill habit and basically messing up all of my relationships. Adderall was #1, and it changed pretty much everything about me as a person. You and me are different because I didn't really try to stop up until I did. I was a chronic, every day....binging pretty hardcore until the end, so I think the fact that you do give it up for periods of time is in your favor. I think I did have a stint when I went off of it for a month at most, but I knew in my heart I wasn't done with it. And let's be honest...quitting is HARD and takes so much patience. SO much that I never knew I had. I'm an instant gratification type of person, so having to wait a long period of time to see the results was far from ideal. It seems to me you're kind of in the early stages of toying around with the idea of quitting and that's not a bad thing. It sounds like when you really set your mind to sticking with the quit, you will do it. You're very self-aware and are sticking close to the boards and not in denial ....some key elements on the road to quitting. I hope this helps even a little.

[Jon]

Theresa,

 

Yes, you can change. We are all changing every day all the time. Think out the air we breathe. At night some of it condenses into moisture and when we wake up in the morning, the grass is covered with dew. The sun comes up and the dew evaporates into into air again. In winter, the same dew becomes frost. Seasons change. Change is all around us and all in us. Change is a natural state for us. Keep on doing what you are doing and see what happens. When the conditions are right for you, you will change.

[Zerokewl]

Theresa, 

 

   I dunno how many times I relapsed on concerta, ritalin, and adderall. I 'm glad you posted . I can tell by your writting you are not in the best place. But that felling will pass. Just keep trying. It will stick.