Zerokewl Posted August 27, 2013 Report Share Posted August 27, 2013 Before I did adderall I was a successful advertising executive working for major media company. I had a nice life things weren't perfect and I wanted more much more. So I took the wonder pill and for a few weeks things were great I had intensity and focus. From there I went completely insane. I worked towards getting fired from my job and start a new company focused on world domination or something. Ok the job sucked and I wanted out. I was fired with sort of an honourable discharge... but in a industry that gossips ALOT I really think I've ruined my reputation. I haven't had a steady job in 8 months. I'm working on some freelance projects. But I'm still really trying to find my work groove. Everything i'm doing takes me a long time. I'm still really angry at myself about losing my old job. I made so many strategic errors. I just feel like such a loser. I can't stop thinking about. am rebuilding but I just tossed away my 15 year career in media. I want to move I try to move on. How do you move on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
resetBrain Posted August 27, 2013 Report Share Posted August 27, 2013 I hope somebody has a more profound answer, but all I got right now is "one foot in front of the other." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted August 27, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2013 I felt better after posting it. I've just been focused on the past. This whole experience has humbled me. I can't focus on the past I need to live in the present. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted August 27, 2013 Report Share Posted August 27, 2013 Zeroqewl, Easy does it. I hear your cry of pain. My life, as I knew it, has gone up in flames too. Mike has said that this is the purpose of quitting...to put a torch to our old lives on the pill. I am proud of you that you let your cries out here on this page, rather than popping a pill. It took courage to do that. One of my mother’s favorite expressions was “Time heals all wounds.†Looking back over my life, I find it to be true for everything, even job loss. You must make it through this day. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted August 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2013 Thanks Jon & Reset, I've been getting some work done in the last week. Actually sitting down at the computer and pumping out code. So I think this freakout is just part of the getting started stage. I am fully in the Rebuilding stage. I'm certain the job offers/contracts will start flowing this fall. I used adderall to numb the pain of losing my job. So mourning its loss is just normal stuff. Upwards, onwards, push, pedal and punch I'm gonna hit 120 days. I've been trying to get back into my old schedule which was frantic pre-adderall. I think slowly reintroducing tasks is a better approach. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BookWoman Posted August 28, 2013 Report Share Posted August 28, 2013 Moving slowly is the best way to go. The biggest paradigm delusion I always fall into is that radical change is the only way. Radical change feels great in theory but is never possible in reality. The only change happens in the present moment when you're fully aware of the positive step you are taking. Thats why no real change is possible on adderall, its just numbing as you said. Think about what a positive step it was the you got off adderall and also, your self-worth shouldn't be bound up with dumb gossip. You have a free mind now and that is the most valuable thing. Hope some of this helps! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted August 28, 2013 Report Share Posted August 28, 2013 Hey Zerokewl, thanks for sharing. You know, had I not quit adderall, in a few years that could have been me. I was always so focused on my "super important" projects that I made crucial strategic mistakes, especially when it came to relationship building. For example, I resented my boss when he gave me the job of facilitating a leadership meeting every two weeks. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to show leadership and build partnerships (especially as the youngest senior person on senior staff) I was annoyed that it took time away from tweaking out on my computer projects. Now, off adderall, I value the ability to see the forest and not just the trees. Move forward. You'll find your place and guaranteed the path will be stronger and more sustainable without the adderall. Good that you're reflecting here rather than going back to adderall. Each day is a step forward. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted August 28, 2013 Report Share Posted August 28, 2013 Every now and then it's good to have an old fashioned "Freak Out"http://youtu.be/ukMM-OqCc5kI hope you are feeling better; it sounds like you are still making progress in the right direction. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted August 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2013 Thank- you 1Bad88, Cat, BookWoman,Jon ,resetBrain. Your advice and support means so much to me. You are amazing people and while the road to recovery is not easy. With every post we get a little better. Thank-you and may the force be with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted August 29, 2013 Report Share Posted August 29, 2013 If you want to see an amazing person, look in the mirror. I have a lot of respect for your determination and honesty. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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