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Who am I kidding?


lunax

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I stopped taking it for two weeks. I started feeling a little better, even went to the gym which I hadn't done in a while and was really starting to believe that I could do this...I could quit taking adderall.

But once I started to fall behind on my list of things to do I panicked and gave in again. Now I'm back to square one...taking more than I should be taking and feeling like complete shit.

 

I have come to terms with the fact that i am addict...now what?

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First of all, acknowledging you're an addict is a huge step. You've gotten past the denial hurdle. Now it's up to you to make the choice. Is getting healthy mentally sans adderall or getting shit done more important? I know you have a lot of important stuff coming up, so it truly might not be the ideal time, but it sounds like the adderall is making you miserable anyway. Is there any possibility of lightening your load right now? I really commend you for honesty, not something us adderall addicts are known for.

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Thanks Ashley, you just made me feel a little better. Adderall definitely makes me miserable but also satisfies me in many ways. I have such a love hate relationship with it… it’s like an abusive boyfriend that I can’t get away from.

 

This has been the busiest year of my life and it doesn’t seem it will get any easier anytime soon. But on the other hand I don’t want to keep using this as an excuse because for all I know things might be just as hard if not harder next year. It makes me feel really scared and anxious to ask my doctor to stop prescribing but I know it will have to come to this.

 

Thanks for hearing me out.

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I don't know what to say other than my heart goes out to you.  It sounds like you are in a lot of pain over this situation.  I also commend your honesty about your addiction.  Hopefully you will get some clarity on the best time for you to quit.  When you set your mind to it I am sure that you will be successful.

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