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Still clean


ldmcniel

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I haven't been on here in awhile but I am happy to say that I am still clean.  That doesn't mean it's been all great.  I still find myself struggling with the cravings but I have not and have no plans on giving in.  I just remind myself of all that I lost while on Adderall and I am still paying for what I did while on it too.  Addiction sucks and I know that I have a long ways to go until I can say that I am a recovered addict.  I am still a recovering addict and I have to tell myself this everyday or else it would be so easy for me to slip back into it.  The last 2 months have been some of my worst and I still did not relapse so that tells me that I am getting stronger than my addiction.  I hope to always be stronger but I have to take it one day at a time.  This way I don't become overwhelmed and give myself an excuse to use again.  I will try to be more active on this site again.  It always helps having support :)

 

 

How long have you been clean for?

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Sorry I missed  your earlier posting ld, I know just how much you were struggling in the early days and I admire your honesty with the process... no it is not easy and I totally hear you with the self flagellation that happens when you awaken from your addiction and look at the challenges of life you face today.  No easy task to get over all that.  I think if I remember you and I are similar in age and life stage, and it can be tough when you're supposed to be a grown up and have all your shit sorted, but addiction and other gremlins crept in and life did its messy thing.

 

But please stay the course without the adderall - there must be something in you that knows that even though the challenges of being clean are tough; going back on adderall will make things ultimately tougher.  

 

You keep on going, lady.  You're a fighter.   

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