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Quitting is so hard, but so worth it...


whosthisguy

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So, I quit at the start of this past July, so I've been just about 4 months clean. I will admit there were maybe 2 occasions that I snorted it to stay up and party, but I don't really consider that relapsing because they weren't mine and because I am an occasional drug user anyway, from soft to hard. It has been tough for me because I moved to NYC for school and don't have many friends here yet.

 

Adderall used to fill my void inside so much that I didn't even need my current friends; I was actually pushing them away. Now that I'm here off Adderall, I am able to talk to people without having my heart race and hands shake. I don't give them death stares. I can talk to them more easily and focus on the conversation instead of having to consciously think about my body language. And people can tell that I'm a warm and outgoing person. When I first joined I was wary about quitting because I knew my academics would be hampered. I say I "knew," but thus far they haven't. I got an A on my first midterm in grad school and I'll be getting another back tomorrow which I am pretty confident will be another A. 

 

It's strange that a lot of things HAVEN'T changed since being off Adderall. I'm still spacey. I still procrastinate for hours on the computer. I still have anxiety and am prone to mood swings. I still have a bad temper. I still drink a lot. I still talk a lot in class and blurt out answers to questions. I still feel like I have an adrenaline rush sometimes that propels me to do things. Still impulsive. I thought quitting would be a magical cure for some of those, but it has shown me that there is still a lot I need to work on now that I am off it.

 

One day I was so happy that I cried. I can now sleep through the night. I have gained weight and look better in my clothes. Some clothes don't even fit anymore (at my worst, I weighed 127-130lbs and I am a 5'9" guy....). And best of all, I don't crash in the evenings and want to hop off a bridge anymore!

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Congrats! That's amazing! How is the fatigue for you? Mine is still ever-present.... but my sleeping schedule is also awful. I tend to oversleep a lot, could be depression. I forgot to mention that I have gotten REALLY into running. I thought I liked running on Adderall (I mean, it does feel great not gonna lie) but running off of it is such a rush. It wakes you up and makes you happy. I don't think I'll ever stop. I ran my first 5k last month and my time was 28:00 and it has only improved since then. :D. (P.S., to any quitters reading this.... try cardio if you haven't yet!!!)

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Congrats! That's amazing! How is the fatigue for you? Mine is still ever-present.... but my sleeping schedule is also awful. I tend to oversleep a lot, could be depression. I forgot to mention that I have gotten REALLY into running. I thought I liked running on Adderall (I mean, it does feel great not gonna lie) but running off of it is such a rush. It wakes you up and makes you happy. I don't think I'll ever stop. I ran my first 5k last month and my time was 28:00 and it has only improved since then. :D. (P.S., to any quitters reading this.... try cardio if you haven't yet!!!)

 

Fatigue is much better. Every month things get better.  I really need to quit smoking and make 2013 the year I slayed the addiction dragons. Been cycling quite a bit this summer and walking a lot.  I really wonder why I have a car now. With winter hitting the prairies this year I'm gonna get into a routine at the gym and hikes around the city. Depression hit me really hard August and September I went on anti-ds and adopted a kitten.  The kitten ended my depression tho I'm still taking the Anti-D's. I'm using a new doctor now and had the I abused adderall conversation with him to.  Overall I'm improving everyday and happy again.  Good days / Bad days just normal stuff. All is well.

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