Does it matter why?

[ddw5053]

Everytime I try to quit adderall I get stuck thinking about my time on it.  Mainly, why is it everytime the last two years I take one adderall, it turns into a lot and an all nighter.  The amount of all nighters, even three consecutive all nighters, I have gone through is starting to scare me.  Scare me because I haven't stoppeed.  I wish if at least took it, I would have enough discipline to stop before bedtime.  But everytime nowadays, I take the max a person should ever take and stay up for a few nights straight. 

 

So with my history with adderall I am constantly wandering why did I do that?  Why does adderall affect me after just one pill.  My best guess is that I never want to "come down" and I've impulsively learned to just keep popping addies.  As long as I'm gonna get mad work done and have a super productive night it won't matter, because tomorrow I'l be normal again.  Anyway I have wandered if quitting adderall this way, on such a unsettled, uncontrollable note, will I be able to recover the same?  Will I always have less power since the adderall still controls me?  Obviously if I took adderall now, or anytime during my soberness, I would behave and react the same way.  Nothing changed regarding my behavior on it, just my ability to stay away from it.

[quit-once]

It does not matter why you cannot control your doses.  Adderall is an addicitive, manipulative drug that fucks with the way you think.  I bet you were getting so wrapped up in your binges that you couldn't keep track of the last time you even took a pill and it just becomes one big blur. 

 

What does matter is why do you want to quit adderall?

 

Quitting means quitting, and that requires total abstinence from the drug, for the rest of your life.   If you can't handle looking at it as a forever endeavor, then just take it one day at a time.  You have acknowledged that you are powerless over this pill but you are still wondering why.  That is just the nature of an addiction.   Once you have crossed that line from casual use to uncontrolled binges, you have burned the bridge back to recreational use, for the rest of your lifetime.  Sure, you can relapse in the future, but the addiction will always return.  That is just the sad universal truth about addiction, and until you accept it you will struggle with quitting.

 

One more thing is that you still believe that adderall helps you to "get mad work done and have a super productive evening", and then the next day you will be "normal again".    Sorry, but I don't believe that either one of those statements are true.  It is a manipulative drug that only makes you think that your time on it was super productive.  But you won't understand how that works until you have been off the addie for many weeks, months or even years.    

[Krax]

Though I completely agree with quit once that you are asking the wrong question, and that it is irrelevant why you cannot take it in moderation, I think there is a relatively simple reason. My lay person's understanding is that once you take amphetamine your brain has an unnatural release and inhibited reabsorption of dopamine, in a way that God or our designer never ever intended. As a consequence of that, your brain's natural production and release of dopamine is thrown out of whack, and from that first pill you begin to withdraw from that synthetic mass release and crave the same thing. I'm sure someone else can correct me in some way or explain it better, but the bottom line is that the drug itself creates the need and craving for additional doses, sort of like with nicotine.

[Jon]

Does it matter why?

Started by ddw5053, Today, 02:12 AM

 

No. It doesn't matter why. The only question that matters is how.

 

 

[blesbro]

The same shit happens to everyone who becomes addicted to adderall. It all starts when you get a tolerance or when you are coming down from the last dosage.  Your addictive instinct is to then take more to get back to your desired level of euphoria. For me, the honeymoon phase and after became a never-ending chase to feel absolutely wonderful at every hour of the day. And thus the pill popping continued.

 

 

Everytime I try to quit adderall I get stuck thinking about my time on it.  Mainly, why is it everytime the last two years I take one adderall, it turns into a lot and an all nighter.  The amount of all nighters, even three consecutive all nighters, I have gone through is starting to scare me.  Scare me because I haven't stoppeed.  I wish if at least took it, I would have enough discipline to stop before bedtime.  But everytime nowadays, I take the max a person should ever take and stay up for a few nights straight. 

 

So with my history with adderall I am constantly wandering why did I do that?  Why does adderall affect me after just one pill.  My best guess is that I never want to "come down" and I've impulsively learned to just keep popping addies.  As long as I'm gonna get mad work done and have a super productive night it won't matter, because tomorrow I'l be normal again.  Anyway I have wandered if quitting adderall this way, on such a unsettled, uncontrollable note, will I be able to recover the same?  Will I always have less power since the adderall still controls me?  Obviously if I took adderall now, or anytime during my soberness, I would behave and react the same way.  Nothing changed regarding my behavior on it, just my ability to stay away from it.

 

 

I think what you're trying to ask is, if you quit for a while and go back to addy, will you ever be able to control your usage? Maybe I'm wrong, but if that is what you were wondering, the answer is no. If you can't control your adderall usage now you won't be able to control it later.

[Zerokewl]

Sounds to me like you are ready to stop the vicious cycle.  Why? You need to answer this question. Are you really super productive on Adderall? I doubt it.