3 weeks, will this ever end

[thekid]

It was 3 weeks ago today i crashed,realzied i had a problem that only i couldnt see. I was not a daily user,but i did binge. 4 weeks ago i began a binge that i believe has changed my life forever.in a 5 day span i finished off 30 tabs of 30 mg addies.i barely slept and i barely ate. That week was the one of my girlfriends birthday. and the night going into it was when i went too far. Eating about 300 mg in about a two hour span, with no idea why i took so much.i spent that night convinced i was dying researching liver failure instead of enjoying the eve of my gfs bday.i slept for a few hoirs and awoke feeling crazed.i soent the day trying to sober up,but i took so much i was still high off my ass.the next day i had to cone clean to my gf as to howmuch i took because i was too paranoid to take her to the broadway play that was her present. We both agreed i needed to go to the hospital,and so we went.i calmed down in the er but after releasing me i was erratic and overly emotional. This is when the crash began.i spent the night crying on my gfs couch unable to speak. The next day i was supposed to work,but i was out of my mind.i had to come clean to my parents. My gf brought me to my father's house where they called my mother to come into town to helo take care of me.under the counseling of my psychiatrist my gf and mother took care of me the next week while i layed in bed going through mood swings and horrible depression.three weeks have passed since my last dose,and i no longer feel crazy. I do feel aan enormous amount of guilt and depression that has gotten in the way of me getting anything accomplished, especially my hw.i have a 4.0 gpa but i know i will probably lose that this semester. I layed in bed all weekend imstead of getting my school work done. Im angry an hate life. I love my girlfriend and she has stood by me the entire time,now i would like to give her back my normal self. I just dont know where to find him. Will this ever ease up? And if so, when? Any advice would ne greatly appreciated. Thank you

[Zerokewl]

Welcome aboard.  What you are feeling is normal. It will take some time to recalibrate to the post adderall world.  Adderall really fucks with your brain chemistry.  The depression and  anger you are feeling are a symptom of withdrawal.  It will take some time to get back to normal. How long? It varies based on your age, length of use, commitment to sobriety etc. 

 

   You may want to consult with a doc about anti-d's the first stage depression is a motherfucker.  Anti-d's are not a magic bullet. You have to actively manage your depression with  diet, exercise and meditation. 

 

  There are lots of great resources on this site. Read the articles, poke through the forum.  You are embarking on an amazing journey to an adderall free life. The first stages are not pleasant my advice is sleep, netflix, diet, exercise and mediation. It gets better it really does. It just takes time to heal.  Post often!

 

Try to save your semester to the best of your ability. Maybe drop classes if need be to focus on just a few. Make things as easy for your self as possible laying in bed all day is not good for depression. Make yourself do something.

 

BTW 300mgs is a fuck-of-a-lot BE CAREFUL.  Thats the most I ever heard of anyone ever taking ever!

[Jon]

May I ask, how many years did you binge use and at what levels, before this last big one? They will be the biggest determining factors in how long your recovery will take.

 

I think you have the right stuff to stay quit after this last scare. Batton down the hatches and be ready for whatever storm lies ahead.

 

We are here to walk through it with you, but you alone must endure the pain. Hold fast and stay close to this forum.