thekid

It was 3 weeks ago today i crashed,realzied i had a problem that only i couldnt see. I was not a daily user,but i did binge. 4 weeks ago i began a binge that i believe has changed my life forever.in a 5 day span i finished off 30 tabs of 30 mg addies.i barely slept and i barely ate. That week was the one of my girlfriends birthday. and the night going into it was when i went too far. Eating about 300 mg in about a two hour span, with no idea why i took so much.i spent that night convinced i was dying researching liver failure instead of enjoying the eve of my gfs bday.i slept for a few hoirs and awoke feeling crazed.i soent the day trying to sober up,but i took so much i was still high off my ass.the next day i had to cone clean to my gf as to howmuch i took because i was too paranoid to take her to the broadway play that was her present. We both agreed i needed to go to the hospital,and so we went.i calmed down in the er but after releasing me i was erratic and overly emotional. This is when the crash began.i spent the night crying on my gfs couch unable to speak. The next day i was supposed to work,but i was out of my mind.i had to come clean to my parents. My gf brought me to my father's house where they called my mother to come into town to helo take care of me.under the counseling of my psychiatrist my gf and mother took care of me the next week while i layed in bed going through mood swings and horrible depression.three weeks have passed since my last dose,and i no longer feel crazy. I do feel aan enormous amount of guilt and depression that has gotten in the way of me getting anything accomplished, especially my hw.i have a 4.0 gpa but i know i will probably lose that this semester. I layed in bed all weekend imstead of getting my school work done. Im angry an hate life. I love my girlfriend and she has stood by me the entire time,now i would like to give her back my normal self. I just dont know where to find him. Will this ever ease up? And if so, when? Any advice would ne greatly appreciated. Thank you