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Zerokewl

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I've spoken with him on email once or twice in regard to moderating the site. It would be nice to hear a post from him, I've read some of his old posts which are brilliant. I believe he's 5 years + sober so I think he's living proof that we get over it eventually and don't need the support.  Proof that a full recovery is possible.  Most NA/SMART meetings pass the hat once and while to cover costs.  This site costs $500-$1000 yearly to operate so contributing $5-$20  isn't too much to ask. The site is advertisement free and a life line for people seeking help and understanding their addiction to Adderall and the lengthy recovery process.

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ashley, i find it to be bothersome because this is one of the hardest things i've ever been through. I'm sure everyone would agree. I've hit 1 year and still dont feel exactly right. Still deal with random bouts of depression and anxiety and it really saddens me. What gives people hope on this site are the people who have come out of this horrible tunnel through the other side and are feeling good. 

 

It would be nice if Mike contributed to let us know how he's doing and to comment on exactly the things we are feeling too. I'm still pretty scared about all this. I mean, I know im doing better than a year ago, but is this it? Is this the plateau? Because if this is how im going to feel for the rest of my life, its a scary thought. 

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Hey Everybody!

 

I’m touched that you guys actually started a thread about donating. I really appreciate the gesture, and thank you so much for the donations that some of you have already sent. A single dollar donated by you here glitters and shines for me like it’s laced with magic and happiness, and it makes it easier to keep the lights on too, which is nice.

 

I believe he's 5 years + sober so I think he's living proof that we get over it eventually and don't need the support. Proof that a full recovery is possible.

 

6 years! And this^. A hundred times this. I wrote about quitting Adderall the most fervently when it was a hard, daily struggle for me. Nowadays, I don't really struggle with it. Given the right task, I can concentrate for 12+ hours happily. It's not an issue of finding the will to work or finding the focus anymore. It's finding the hours. 

 

Time-wise, I’m basically living three lives: I’m a software developer, an aspiring PhD student in psychology, and a web-entrepreneur/writer guy.

 

I'm studying Industrial-Organizational psychology in school, which is essentially "psychology of people at work." Figures, right? As you can imagine, a lot of what I’m learning is obscenely relevant to the process of quitting Adderall and climbing your way back up to superstar-producer status.

 

I really want to come back to QuittingAdderall, write new articles, and be more present here on the forums, but right now it's a time issue. The good news is that later this year I’ll get some extra hours in my week, and I plan to dedicate some of those hours to QuittingAdderall.com. 

 

In addition to coming back to articles and the forums, I may write an eBook on quitting Adderall. It would include all new tips, plus relevant psychology for the quitting process. Does that interest you guys?

 

Once I start grad school, there won’t be room in my meager PhD student stipend for server fees, so I have a year to make my sites pay for themselves somehow. I figure a $5-10 eBook might be a better at generating a little income from the site, versus depending on donations (which are wonderful, but too inconsistent to rely on). If you guys have ideas, I’m all ears. And let me know what you'd like to see in the book!

 

Until I’m officially back I will continue to keep the forum software up-to-date, and respond to any issues that the admins notify me about. 

 

Thanks again for this thread. It really made my day to see it. Sorry for being so AWOL for so long. As Zerokewl suggested, it's because of my successful recovery that I'm so damned absent. 

 

Do you remember the analogy of the giant stone wheel in Dr. Jekyll's Hangover? Well, I spent so many years trying to get the wheel moving, and now it's spinning so fast that I'm getting friction burns. I kind of have 3 wheels: work, school, websites. My goal is to eliminate the "day job" wheel so that I can focus on making the school and website wheels spin way faster. But until I can do that, I have to keep running between wheels like a madman, keeping their momentum up.

 

For Sebastian05...

 

1 year and still dont feel exactly right.

At year 1, I felt awkward and kind of formless. I think my depression peaked around year 2 or 3. So not to scare you: But it might even get worse. This is such an agonizingly long, slow journey. You're basically changing you're whole life's course, and that takes a ton of time and effort. It's kind of like how a cruise ship has a really large turning radius.

Set your expectations for success farther into the future. That will help you cope with not being "right" yet, and will set your threshold for size-of-noticeable-change lower. When you expect the journey to be really long, it's easier to appreciate small uplifts that suggest you're headed in the right direction (versus expecting all the success and happiness to hit you at once).

 

Still deal with random bouts of depression and anxiety and it really saddens me.

 

So do I, but they pass more quickly. My depression/anxiety episodes used to last weeks, now they're down to minutes. The best advice I can offer you here? Action breaks the cycle of worry. Modify the stressor. Always, always fight the stressor as fast and hard as you can. This is called active coping. Instead of just telling yourself that it's going to be alright, you effortfully modify the situation so that it is less painful (not pain-free, just less painful). If you make this a habit, it will do you a world of good. 

 

Also, mindfulness meditation helps with both anxiety and the ADD. Now when I encounter an anxiety trigger, I start doing a little mini-meditation, and it helps make me less reactive. It's like: 1. Huge stress. 2. QUICK GO ABSTRACT BEFORE YOU FREAK OUT.

 

The idea is that if you practice active coping (modify the stressor) enough, it becomes compulsive. And that's wonderful. You'll find yourself fighting the situation before you've let your anxiety run away with itself. And 75% of the time, all it takes to make a situation less stressful is seeking out more information --- filling in knowledge potholes that you're currently pouring anxiety and pessimism into.

 

I know im doing better than a year ago

^That should be your only criteron for success. Growth, not attainment. Better, not perfect.

 

, but is this it? Is this the plateau?

This is not it. Not if you keep pushing and getting a little better one year at a time. Plateaus happen. And they suck. But if you keep pushing, you'll break them. Feeling like you've hit a plateau may mean that you just need a novel challenge to pull you up to that next level. At least, that's what keeps working for me.

Does that help?

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Mike its great to hear from you.  As almost 7 month guy still battling. I love hearing success stories! 

 

I like the ebook idea. A practical guide as to what to expect especially in the later months/years.  Also a definitive nutrition supplement guide would be helpful. There are a lot of varying opinions, I really do think the supplement approach needs more study.  

 

    Just out of curiosity what does it cost to keep this site up and running?  I will do my best to do a few more funding drives a few times a year.  All the smart meetings I've gone to ask for donations I don't know why this place should be different.  I would hate to see advertising on this site.  

 

Also Sebastian the one thing I did to combat depression that really helped was adopting a cat. 

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@Zk - Noted about the supplements! There are some that have been covered in psychology studies, so I can start with those and try to cut through the BS a little.

You were actually pretty accurate with your cost estimate. The site costs about $800/year to run.

I don't think you'll ever see ads on this site. Once the site started getting popular I got offers from advertisers, and turned them all down. I'd rather run the site at a loss than junk it up.

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Mike, your message above is why we miss your input on the site so much. You have a great communication style and it is helped so many of us. If $800 is what you need to keep things running then we should be able to raise that over the course of a year. If we have 20 "active" members that equates to about $.10/day each.

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Ok, more like $0.11/day or $3.30/month. Are you willing to give up 1 trip to Caribou or Starbucks a month for the benefit you get from this site?

JustinW I am definitely down for that. that is about $40/year. I think if everyone can, they should drink one less starbucks coffee a month.  

 

Mike, it is good to hear the update from you and that you are doing well!!!! PhD?? That is awesome!

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