**One Year**

[Sebastian05]

Hey All:

 

It has been a while since I've last posted, but I'm still going strong.

 

My last refill was december of 2012 (60 10mg pills). I still have 50 of the 60 left in that bottle and I just keep the bottle sitting on my desk.

 

So It has been a year. I'm def doing much better than I was last year this time.

 

I remember last year during new years, i was so burdened with depression and severe anxiety that I didn't even want to leave the house, but i forced myself to because my friends and I had a really amazing night planned in Manhattan.

 

I think im still trying to make my way back to the way I was  before adderall. For those of you who don't know, I took 10-20mg a day for about 3 years and then for the last year was pretty much only taking 10mg a day. I was able to make a one month script last 2 months.

 

My point is, i never abused it. I took it as prescribed (if not less than prescribed) but getting off of it has still been really tough. 

 

I really miss feeling energized all the time. I really miss being able to have laser focus on anything, but I'm sure this is better off in the long run.

 

I take L-Tyrosine (1000mg) daily. I also take L-Theanine and CDP Choline and Alpha GPC as well as L-Dopa Mucua. All of these supplements are supposed to boost Dopamine levels as well as re-sensitize your dopamine receptors.

 

Anyways, I noticed that someone recently posted about coming out of 20 months pretty strong. I noticed that she mentioned she's also taking Wellbutrin and Klonopin (as needed).

 

As much as I'd love to take Wellbutrin, I just cant bring myself to getting dependent on another pharmaceutical med.

 

I hope everyone is doing well. Looks like a lot of new people on board to the site. I wish the veterans would post more.

 

I still kinda consider myself a newbie, but I guess I now have a pretty decent amount of time under my belt.

 

Last year this time, I was not doing too well. I was not sleeping AT ALL because the anxiety from the withdrawal was so intense. I am sleeping better now but definitely not as well as I'd like to. I really hope this will continue to get better.

 

So I'm just chugging along, guys. Everyone who knows me knows im extremely stubborn and when i set my mind to something, i achieve it.

 

After i quit, i gained weight for sure. I'm still working on losing that. I do spend a lot of time in the gym and my strength has gone through the roof. I've always been a gym rat. I'm not fat, but i'm definitely not as solid as I once was.

 

Last year this time, i would go weeks without even working out because i was just so tired. Now im in the gym 5-6 days a week.

 

I'd like to think things are moving forward.

 

I'm still not as zesty and enthusiastic about life as i once was prior to the adderall. I hope this comes back.

 

For those of you with a lot of time under your belts, please let me know if my progress is good/normal/to be expected.

 

Thanks

 

S

[Zerokewl]

Congrats on one year! I'm 7 months along. The only advice I can give you is to try Melatonin and a good sleepy time tea for better sleep. Thank-you for posting a positive story. I'm amazed you still have the pills on your desk. I would have totally relapsed but I was more of a fiend user than you.  At any rate toss the pills they've expired any how.  

[Jon]

_{Congratulations Sebastion year one of sobriety. I don't have more time than you, so I can't help you with senior advise.}

 

_{I am pleasantly surprised to hear the positive tone in your post. It is hard to be positive when you're hurting, so I know you are doing good. You have helped me today and I thank you for that.}

 

_{I'm sure you can look forward to zest and vitality returning to you as you move further along your journey.}

[JustinW]

Congratulations Sebastion, I am a couple of months behind you but your thoughts echo many of mine.  I did not abuse but used consistently for 3 years at the 25mg a day level.  I miss many of the same feelings as you and have experienced the weight gain and lack of enthusiasm.  I don't have much to offer as far as hope since I am not as far along in my journey as you are, but I can say that I feel very similarly to what you have described.  I thought that things would be close to normal at the 1 year point but I don't see that happening; I would be thrilled with 80% at this point.  Try to savor the good days; that's the best I can offer.

[BeHereNow]

Congrats on one year Sebastian!!!!!

[oyvey]

Congrats on your year. Give yourself a huge pat on the back. I can't BY ANY MEANS say what it's like to be that far along, but it's definitely a goal of mine. It's clear you weren't abusing, but I still hope the pills on the desk disappear anyway. I hope your 2014 brings the extra zest you've been missing. Thanks for posting where you are and not buttering it up. 

[Cat]

Congrats on one year Sebastian. Curious why you keep the bottle of 50 pills around? Maybe it would give you more of a committed feeling or peace of mind if they were out of your life. Maybe not. Who knows.

 

Glad to see you are still around as we are on similar time frames. I'm about a week short of one year. Like you I've resisted Wellbutrin as I don't want to become dependent on another pharmaceutical, though I'm sure it helps others. Nice work going to the gym 5-6 days a week. Exercise is currently my go-to antidepressant.