Freebird Posted January 14, 2014 Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 I am a stay at home mom to now two grown teenage boys. I am a long time user of adderall. I started using adderall around 15 years ago. I quit using adderall in May of 2013. When I had to face the devastation decisions I made while taking adderall, and hope that my husband and my two sons would be willing to give me another chance if I QUIT adderall. It has not been an easy task to do to say the least as you all know. I happen to stumble across this website a couple of weeks ago and I could not believe it!!!! I thought I had search every site on the internet that talked about adderall abuse. But I NEVER came across this site. Anyway I am SOOOO THANKFUL I did!!!!! Actually I couldn't believe it at first because it seemed like for the longest time (7 months) that I was the only one that had this problem. But for the last two weeks I have been obsessed with reading every article and all the forum discussions. And finally I don't feel all alone. Everyday is still a struggle and I wonder if I have caused permanent damage taking such a high dose of adderall for such a long time. There doesn't seem to be a lot of information out there. But all I can do is take one day at a time. I realize I am very lucky that I am able to take time to recover without having the responsibility of a 'job' outside my home. And thank goodness my husband has been very supportive. Because even my few responsibilities at home seem to mount into unreachable goals. And I am just talking about doing laundry, going to the grocery store, etc. I was also diagnosed with depression and social anxiety at the same time I was diagnosed with ADHD and started taking adderall. However I never really did take my antidepressant, Wellbutrin, as prescribed because adderall seemed to 'fix' everything. Now that I am no longer on adderall symptoms of my depression are more prevalent than ever. So I have started, for the first time really and taking it correctly, wellburtin, about 3 weeks ago. Anyway that's my story... part of it anyway I will spare you guys the details lol. Thanks for listening and again I am so very thankful I found this site and even though I might not have made any comments YET on topics or individual stories believe me I am reading EVERYTHING I can get my hands on and taking it all in. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted January 14, 2014 Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Welcome to the site! 7 months is a huge accomplishment, give yourself a pat on the back because we can't do it. You haven't done permanent damage but it will take time to heal. We are all here to support each other so feel free to vent about the good and bad; we'll listen without judgement. I am happy to hear that your family is standing behind you as that is a big help on the bad days. I understand the struggle of tasks building up into unreachable goals. My strategy / coping mechanism is to picture each task in it's own 1' cubed moving box, not allowing myself to think about the details of the tasks. Then, as I get energy / motivation, I open one box at a time and deal with that one task. It helps me not focus so much on the forest and just work on one tree at a time. Maybe that will help? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freebird Posted January 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 THANK YOU SO MUCH, Justin, IT REALLY DOES!!!! (wiping tears) I don't even know how to explain. You guys seem to do such a wonderful job explaining how I am thinking and feeling or what to do... Etc. when I can't seem to be able to even put a sentence together. But I am not going to worry about that right now. Again I am just happy I found you guys!!! I really appreciate ANY words of encouragement! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted January 14, 2014 Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 We are happy that you found us too! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted January 14, 2014 Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Hello and welcome. I quit in May 2013 also and can relate to everything you are saying. For me the depression has been the worst part of this lengthy recovery stage, I'm currently taking anti-d's. Focus , motivation etc are slow to return to me as well. Everyday I am more steadfast in my decision to stay quit. The small improvements i'm making are turning into big improvements. It takes time, but I know in time I will be better than ever. Welcome to the site. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freebird Posted January 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2014 Thank you zerokewl- I am still figuring out how to use site not sure exactly how or where to post. so bare with me until I get the hang if it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted January 15, 2014 Report Share Posted January 15, 2014 Welcome FreeBird! I'm glad you found us too. It is horrible to feel alone in this. I would have kept using had I not found the site. You have made it 7 months all by yourself and that is awesome. I am only minutes behind you in sober time and struggle with similar issues. I am still mixing my color and white laundry due to energy issues. I live in a townhouse. Lots of steps. We have to be survivors. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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