tinybuddha Posted January 16, 2014 Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 Hi, I found that morning time became my biggest obstacle. Even now after a shorter relapse I am struggling in the morning again(never was completely over that, but bad again now). Suffering through the insomnia even with ambien and herbal sleep aids. Oddly instead of sleeping(crashing for 24hr at times) like I used to when I would binge and then stop back in the day. Instead when I quit it is like all my body wants is to rest, but my mind will not allow it. In the last year if I was lucky a good night was 4-5 hours. Anyway, I was wondering what time of day is most difficult and how you handle it? There are mornings I pull myself right back into my depression struggling and then hating myself and feeling guilty. It sounds lazy, but in the morning I feel unmotivated and depressed and I struggle to start my day without it. I always used to take it hour before 2nd alarm and I would wake up with all this energy. Well, at least for first couple of years of my addiction. I am living back in a cold climate(it really is depressing) and do not have many social activities here. That is another story. Thanks for any feedback! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted January 16, 2014 Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 My worst time of day is usually about 2 - 5 in the afternoon as I don't have the stamina to keep up the pace that I want to. I try to remember to cut myself some slack and power through it. I've never been much of a morning person either. If it weren't for the kids going to school, I would be late to work every day. This winter weather is starting to drag on me too as the only time I get to spend outdoors is when I am removing snow from the driveway and sidewalk. Soon the days will start to get noticeably longer and then spring will be here before you know it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oyvey Posted January 16, 2014 Report Share Posted January 16, 2014 Im goin with 3-6pm ...sun goes down and the mind starts to go to darker places and memories I'd like to block out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted January 17, 2014 Report Share Posted January 17, 2014 Tinybudda, I had the same sleeping problems that you described, just last night. It was very uncomfortable. I went through fits of it initially, but over time has calmed down. I had been having fantastic success sleeping using 5-HTP amino acid (I use the NOW brand. I got it on Amazon) in capsule form, so you can take only 1/3 of the powder. If you take full 100mgs pill, you’ll probably sleep for 16 hours and have a sleep hangover. I don’t know why it didn’t work last night, except I was trying to cut back the dosage even more to avoid the grogginess the next day. It got me off the Ambien. I had been down to .5mg (half a pill) for about a month. But I don’t need it with the 5-HTP. By the way the Ambien is a hypnotic type drug (not that addictive, except psychologically) and it will only keep you asleep for about 5 hours after using it for a while. The grogginess it leaves is subtle, but definitely present. I think it is sabotaging you into sleeping only for 5 hours. Try the 5-HTP. I am on the same page as you when it comes to the mornings as the worst time of day. It’s first thing in the morning upon awakening and slumbering in bed because you feel so horrible you bring on a morning depression that keeps you in bed. Without hope for the promise of having a good day, why not stay in bed, is the attitude. Two months into my quit, I had to give up coffee because it was causing me a lot of pain. This was a 30 year habit ripped out from under my feet! So now I have no morning routine that is productive. I think structure is important in recovery. It’s important in general, but more so in recovery. I work 3 PM – 11 PM and 11 PM – 7 AM alternately. Mostly during my quit I’ve been on 3-11. It’s good to have the lead time to get into work, but doesn’t force me to charge my way through the uncomfortable mornings. I never was a morning person anyway, which is one of the items on the check off list for ADD. “Not a morning person. Give ‘em Adderall.†I have to be ready for the day before 2 PM, (the exception is overtime at work—I drag myself to the job because it's a life or death situation) which is the earliest I am available for a telephone call or engaging in a social activity….or anything human. This has got to change! Most of my friends are up at 6 AM! They want to eat dinner at 5:30 PM. It’s normal human behavior and it eludes me utterly. Cold, with short sunlight hours to get out and take a walk, is a real depression making machine. Isolation caused by working 3 PM – 11 PM and 11 PM – 7 AM. I feel your pain. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckyducky Posted January 17, 2014 Report Share Posted January 17, 2014 I have to say everytime I have had some clean time In the past the hardest time was 3-5. I get home from work with kids and am completely overwhelmed with dinner, chores and kids homework. I let my self this week take a 45 min nap when I get home. I have always felt guilty for naps but it's better guilt from a nap than guilt from my old friend addy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted January 19, 2014 Report Share Posted January 19, 2014 Good question! For me, there isn't really any one set time of day. It's more dependent on day and context, whether it's a PAWS day, whether I have a huge project to get done, whether I'm depressed, etc. Morning is sometimes really tough for me though, I can definitely relate to that, but it's getting easier. But afternoon can be a trigger as well. I think a lot of it has to do with how you approach the day. What kind of flow or rhythm I set up in the beginning sets the pace for the rest of the day, which affects whether and when triggers happen. I think I'm finally starting to realize that sleeping late is bad for me. I have to be extremely self-scheduled and if I don't get up and get started early--if I go back to sleep or lounge around or whatever--I never get the chance to really get moving. I get nothing done and find myself freaking out or feeling like a fraud/failure and wishing for adderall by 4 pm. So, as nice as it is, sleeping late can be a major adderall trigger. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinybuddha Posted January 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2014 Hate to admit that is probably true for me as well. It such a vicious cycle of not being able to sleep and then sleeping late. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyper_critical Posted January 24, 2014 Report Share Posted January 24, 2014 Right now. Up late for work, got 3-3.5 hours sleep last night. Wouldn't it be nice to pop a little pill to get me through the day? FFFFF THAT - I love being a human being again! Spent the last hour waking up: praying/meditating, now listening to some music before driving two hours for an afternoon of high-pressure meetings. I've got to remember: be grateful for struggle...it's a necessary precursor to growth. Feelings are NOT facts, and everything is exactly how it's supposed to be in this moment. And, the most important gift that I've gotten from recovery - I never HAVE to use Adderall again! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted January 24, 2014 Report Share Posted January 24, 2014 be grateful for struggle...it's a necessary precursor to growth. Feelings are NOT facts, and everything is exactly how it's supposed to be in this moment. so glad I read this today. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyper_critical Posted January 25, 2014 Report Share Posted January 25, 2014 Had a great day at work yesterday. As per, wasn't nearly as bad as I had built it up in my mind, even though I wasn't "perfectly prepared" and couldn't control every aspect of every interaction I had... ; ) Got back last night, watched a little Parks and Rec, and just woke up after eight hours of deep, rejuvenating sleep. I was nearly dead 288 days ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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