SquirrelTail Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 I came off Adderall and Vyvanse rather abruptly after an unforeseen opportunity to evaluate my existence sans medications (of which there were quite a few). I was miserable - I can attest to that. I've been off all stimulants for almost 3 1/2 months now. It's not been an easy road. In all honesty, I don't really have much of a life at all. I do laugh a lot more now and I'm okay as long as I'm living a dependent, low-responsibility existence. The issue arises in the immense amount of shame and guilt I experience on a daily basis because of the meaningless state my life has become. I'm not ambitious. I'm frightened and intimidated of even simple tasks or trivial experiences. I have no faith in myself and my lack of drive only compounds that. I know a lot of this is mental - if not all of it, but sensing the impatience of those around me and seeing the order and productivity of my life collapse around me makes resorting back to stimulants incredibly tempting. Having a pleasant mood wasn't an option for soooo long, but now - when confronted with what's more acceptable to those around me and what might make me feel less useless, I feel forced to choose between being happier or being productive. Will I ever get that drive back? Or will I have to sacrifice contentment for a justifiable existence? - Squirrel Tail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cassie Posted March 13, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 I can definitely relate and yes, you do get your drive and productivity back. It's a long road though. I know it feels like an eternity but you should realize that 3 months isn't a long time to be off any substance. Your brain is only just beginning to heal. I basically sleep walked through my first year of recovery doing the bare minimum at work and home and watching a ton of netflix. Netflix and food were my only hobbies for a long time. People won't notice your laziness as much as you think. You just have to keep trudging and let time pass to get over your stimulant addiction. I also had that fear/intimidation feeling and that took the longest to improve of anything. In the early stages of my recovery, I read this scholarly article about relapse prevention that talked about the major symptoms of addiction, and there was one that really stood out to me. "The belief that a chemical substance will compensate for some personal weakness or lack of skill." I knew that as long as I felt that way about amphetamines, I wasn't yet over my addiction. I'm happy to say I no longer feel that way. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted March 13, 2014 Report Share Posted March 13, 2014 Give yourself time; at 3 months you will still be mush. Things will get better just keep plodding along. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post quit-once Posted March 14, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted March 14, 2014 The answer to your topic question is HELL YES! Living in an addiction is not really living at all...at best it is an existence. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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