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16 Months and Still struggling


Jazzy7

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Congratz on all the clean time. I definitely continued to gain more energy and feel less depressed after the 16 months. This will not be the way it is for the rest of your life.  Its a continuous process of improvement from all that dopamine and norepinephrine depletion in your brain. I can say that even though I face intense adderall cravings , as recently as yesterday (For me, it tends to hit hard when i get on school break after a very difficult semester of work and studying and my brain chemicals react to what ive been through), I feel confidant that i would never ever go back to adderall. I think that confidence should continue to grow with you. The more clean time you get away from it, the more confidance you will get in your despisement of it... if that makes any sense.

 

Congratz on the 16 months. That's really awesome. You should pat yourself on the back for what you accomplished.

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I remember feeling pretty crappy around the 18 month mark. I actually went to a few Pills Anonymous meetings around that time. I feel much better a year later. I'm actually considering eliminating coffee from my diet because I feel really sensitive to caffeine now, even just one cup of coffee a day. When I drink a cup of coffee as late as noon I feel wired and anxious at night. On Adderall I could drink coffee all day and it was never enough, and when I quit I was basically immune to caffeine. So, I think you will get more sensitive to stimulants (in a negative way) as time goes on, and I agree with InRecovery that you will get more confident in your hatred of speed as time goes on too. At 16 months I was still romanticizing Adderall a lot. Now, I think of it as a pill that would make me feel wired and creepy, and give me a massive headache and muscle tension.

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I remember feeling pretty crappy around the 18 month mark. I actually went to a few Pills Anonymous meetings around that time. I feel much better a year later. I'm actually considering eliminating coffee from my diet because I feel really sensitive to caffeine now, even just one cup of coffee a day. When I drink a cup of coffee as late as noon I feel wired at night. On Adderall I could drink coffee all day and it was never enough, and when I quit I was basically immune to caffeine. So, I think you will get more sensitive  to stimulants (in a negative way) as time goes on, and I agree with InRecovery that you will get more confident in your hatred of speed as time goes on too. At 16 months I was still romanticizing Adderall a lot. Now, I think of it as a pill that would make me feel weird, wired and creepy.  

Cassie, you are a huge encouragement for me to keep going.  I had actually put your name in my original post because I was thinking about your experience when I wrote it.  Thank you so much!

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I was prescribed and took Adderall for 2.5 years. I feel as if I took too much but never took more than the prescribed dosage. I would take 30mg a day about 3-4x a week and occasionally got up a little higher in dosage than that. I was prescribed 30mg 2x a day.

 

I have been off Adderall for 16 months and haven't felt 100% normal at any point in the past 16 months. My brain feels like it was fried during those 2.5 years. I have had blood work to check for deficiencies and do not have any. Has anyone else struggled with what I am dealing with? I constantly feel disoriented. I am obviously cognitively slower than when on Adderall and keep thinking I would return to normal but it hasn't happened. I have a full time job and just built a house but feel dumb all of the time. Could someone please help. Thanks!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Jazzy I have also been sober for 16 months (and 11 days as of today) I really relate to what you posted. I have times where I feel like my energy and motivation is coming back moreso but then it seems to go away again. It could be related to a move I just made from Florida back home to Illinois for me. I'm not sure but I am definitely going to wait it out and see as I don't feel normal yet either. I'm having high hopes for year two. I have also gained 30 pounds since getting sober and it is driving me CRAZY. Granted I know I was a skeleton on adderall and I do also have an eating disorder but really it is driving me crazy that this weight has not gone away (I was hoping it would just naturally come off after the first year)... But at the same time I'm not working out so maybe if I start that will help. Anyways I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and that I'm glad you posted because it's nice to know someone is going through the same thing I am. Stay strong and God Bless. 

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  • 1 month later...

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