AddyFiend Posted June 15, 2014 Report Share Posted June 15, 2014 Flashback to the end of 1st semester of Freshman year of college: A buddy got ahold of some Adderall 30 mg XR's and was selling them for final exams. I decided to buy 1 because I hadn't been to any Calc lectures all semester. I went to bed early that night and woke up at 6 AM. Normally I would go back to sleep for 6 hours but I decided to pop the 30mg XR and see what happens. I literally understood every bit of information on the Calc final after 15 hours or so of work. The following semester I popped (even snorted a few when I was coming down late at night and wanted to study more) 20-30 Adderall's. That semester I also slacked off and smoked weed all the time, and on the final day of exams I smoked after bingeing on Adderall and had a panic attack/psychosis/some messed up shit. I thought my friends were talking about me behind my back and then when I got back to my room I had a panic attack and thought I was dying. After that semester I became depressed and that summer just flatout sucked. Then first semester of sophomore year I couldn't even wake up for class so I took the semester off to try and beat the depression. During this semester I took only a couple Adderall as well so it had been a good 6 months since I was using it at all regularly. I managed to get a little better thanks to Wellbutrin but ideally I want to be on no meds. I fell back into old habits when I returned to college second semester and started taking Adderall whenever I had any necessary work to do simply because I could not motivate myself to study or do anything except watch movies and play videogames. I snorted it on more occasions than not. so now here I am - psychiatrist prescribed me Concerta (he thinks I have ADD or I guess at lest depressed enough to need this shit just to function). I abused it right away as well as after the next refill. I have just got it refilled a third time last week and I have snorted/taken half the bottle. I obviously have some issues but I think the main one is my depression is so bad that I am completely unfocused, unmotivated and unable to remember simple things like what someone said 2 seconds ago. I have no cravings for more stimulants once the medication wears off, but during the comedown I go crazy with anxiety and practically need to redose. Yesterday I worked 15 hours and I'm still awake at 8 AM and I just wanna sleep but I have work in 3 hours which only adds more anxiety. But yeah I'm tired of typing thanks for hearing me out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted June 16, 2014 Report Share Posted June 16, 2014 OK, so what are you going to do about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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