Adding, not subtracting

[BeHereNow]

"The hard-drinker who keeps thinking of not drinking is doing what he can to initiate the acts which lead to drinking.  He is starting with the stimulus to his habit.  To succeed he must find some positive interest or line of action which will inhibit the drinking series and which by instituting another course of action will bring him to his desired end.  In short, the man's true aim is to discover some course of action, having nothing to do with the habit of drink which will take him where he wants to go."

 

John Dewey

 

 

I just discovered this quote, and I think it's so right.   If we're trying to quit something, and we spend our time dwelling on that thing, we're staying in the addiction cycle and we're more likely to give in to it.  

 

If we want to stop a bad habit, we have to fill our lives with good things and activities and people that have nothing to do with that bad habit, and that distract us and that make our lives so full that eventually it would be absurd to consider returning to that habit.  

 

Instead of approaching quitting anything as a loss or subtraction, I want to try to think about it in terms of what new things can be gained, what new directions and possibilities open up.  What good new things can I fill my life with, what do I need, what could I add that would be positive and beneficial and FUN?  

 

So, right now I'm focusing on abstaining from alcohol, which is also helping with my adderall-related quitting issues.  But rather than think of it in terms of what I CANT have or do, I want to fill my life with exciting things I GET TO DO.  

 

With adderall, it might be harder, though everyone is different.  Does anyone use this technique?  It might be more of an "advanced" quitting approach--at least, in the beginning few months, I know I was pretty obsessed with the pills.

 

Healthy foods, supplements, and vitamins

Moving my body

Generally being healthy

Reading books -- and finishing them!!!

Decluttering, keeping my space clean and aesthetically pleasing

Spending time with good friends (especially sober)

 

Planning to:

Take a painting class

Start doing yoga

Probably a lot of things I'm forgetting right now

 

Anything else to add to this list?  I'll probably keep adding.  I think this is important.

[Perullo]

Totally agree.  Giving up an addiction is effectively an act of creating a vacuum in your life - and as we all know, nature abhors a vacuum and will eventually fill it with something.  It's our job to make sure we don't fill it back up with the thing we tried to get rid of to begin with.  That requires focusing on something positive outside of our addiction.

 

For me, my new found love is cooking.  Not sure why, but I'm able to do it with or without Adderall, and fills the time (and belly) nicely.  Going to also get back into my exercise routine within the next few days.

[Zerokewl]

Good post Occasional I think I need to do some adding.

[SweetCarolinee]

OBSESSED with this post! I couldn't agree with you more You are a genius Occasional. I have to run, shower and get ready for work but I will follow up with a longer response later! 

[Greg]

Totally agree. Giving up an addiction is effectively an act of creating a vacuum in your life - and as we all know, nature abhors a vacuum and will eventually fill it with something. It's our job to make sure we don't fill it back up with the thing we tried to get rid of to begin with. That requires focusing on something positive outside of our addiction.

For me, my new found love is cooking. Not sure why, but I'm able to do it with or without Adderall, and fills the time (and belly) nicely. Going to also get back into my exercise routine within the next few days.

Learning to cook with online videos was one of my post adderall distractions as well!

[LILTEX41]

EXCELLENT Occassional!  You are EXACTLY right!!!

[Shambo]

I took a screen shot of your post @occasional. That's good stuff. Thanks for sharing.