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Attempt 3 at quitting. I think I'm hitting the wall.


Hesperus

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This is normal. For me, the first month wasn't that bad. Months 2-4 were the worst in terms of depression and 'hitting the wall'. Understand that recovery is a long slow process that you don't have much control over. Realize that 30 days is a very short time to be off of any drug. In fact, expect the whole first year sober to be pretty depressing and don't try frustratingly to change it. You'll feel normal again in time. Best advice I have is to distract yourself as much as possible (with tv, weekend trips or any entertainment) so that the days go faster and you accumulate more clean time. And, cultivate patience.

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Hey welcome to the board. Early recovery is tough, all you can really do is make life easy as possible. Cassie's advice is  spot on. Recovery can be sort of non- linear too some days are better than others.  The supplements can be helpful but sleep is probably the best thing you can do for your brain right now. Welcome aboard please feel free to ask questions and post here as often as you like.   

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Thanks, everyone, for your responses and support.

 

I hate having to be patient like this. :/ But it gets better at some point, right?

 

I have some other specific questions, but it seems to make the most sense to ask those elsewhere. Thanks again for taking the time to welcome me here.

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Sweet Caroline - I am so HAPPY for you!  You sound AMAZING!

 

Hesperus,

 

Let me just tell you this.  The people on this board are amazing.  I have been on this board for some time now (been away a little too long), but to see all the progress everyone is making is FUCKING AWESOME!  They are absolutely right.  You just have to hang in there for dear life and DO NOT GIVE UP.  It is a battle WORTH FIGHTING through.  Yes, you are right.  You have not made it past the wall YET(until NOW).  You just keep telling yourself, "THIS DRUG IS NOT GOING TO BEAT ME.  I AM HURDLING OVER THE WALL THIS TIME AND I CAN DO THIS."  Keep thinking THOUGHTS OF VICTORY and do NOT allow yourself to think thoughts of defeat.  You CAN DO whatever you tell yourself you CAN DO and I'm telling you right now that YOU CAN DO THIS.  Your life without this drug is LIMITLESS and FULL OF POTENTIAL.  You can stay stuck on the hamster wheel and keep getting the same results as you've been getting or you can CHOOSE to get off, collapse for a period (it will eventually pass), and then CARRY on to live a life you deserve - a GOOD life. 

 

Stay strong and NEVER ever GIVE UP!

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I seriously appreciate the replies.

 

Right now, some days are better than others, but I seem to be past the heavy depression. (For now.)

 

Oddly, that happened right when I stopped taking Advil. I stopped taking it with the thought that maybe it would make the body aches go away to just force my body to deal with them on its own. My body aches subsided and my depression ebbed out. Weird, right? Maybe just a coincidence. Or maybe there's something more going on there.

 

Tonight's rough, but I seem to be okay. My eating habits are starting to become sane again. (I hate talking about health in terms of "weight gain," so instead I'll just say that at the beginning of July, I had plenty of clothes that fit well. Now, not so much.) I want to become more physically active, but that's hard to talk myself into at times. And my sleep schedule is way out of whack.

 

I hit Day 35 in just 18 minutes here. :) I'm to the point where I just feel happy that I made the choice. But now I have to re-integrate my schoolwork and freelancing and all that. It's ... beh, it's intimidating.

 

Anyway. Mostly just wanting to say thanks again, and also that I love how many people have their "since quitting" counter in their signature. It's really encouraging just seeing how many people have made it through.

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It is what it is. Kind of an annoying statement but in early recovery your mind grapes are re-calibrating and it just takes time. Focusing on diet,exercise and overall health is really all you can do to get through it. I'm going to write you a prescription for Netflix documentaries and HBO.   

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  • 1 month later...

Hey, look at this. I'm at day 60-something, and doing okay.

 

(Man, that "day 30 to 40" period was hard!)

 

Thanks for your support, all. It's still tough, but I'm okay. Which, compared with so much of these last few years, is pretty damn great.

good job

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  • 1 month later...

Hey, look at this. I'm at day 60-something, and doing okay.

 

(Man, that "day 30 to 40" period was hard!)

 

Thanks for your support, all. It's still tough, but I'm okay. Which, compared with so much of these last few years, is pretty damn great.

good to know you are okay. Hang in there, and keep it up :)

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