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thriceasnice

I need help

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     Long story short, I entered college my freshman year and my first semester I barely got a 2.0. A majority of my family has ADHD and i went and got tested. Got prescribed adderall and took it as prescribed. Next semester I got a 4.0, got back into the honors system at my university and also became the president of a large fraternity.

     Fast forward to now, a junior in college, and i am prescribed 60mg vyvance and it has no effect at all. Everyday, I often take 60mg vyvance along with about 40mg IR adderall and this is just to get me out of bed and go about my day. I really want to quit, but its so hard to do so while being in school with honors classes and college responsibilities. I've lost my personality, interests, and am struggling with everything in life. What should I do? I am afraid of failing out of school and I really can't afford to do so. I have tried quitting and its just so difficult at this time with schoolwork and tests. Please, anyone that could help, I would appreciate it.

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Hey, welcome. Sorry to hear you're struggling. I know I speak for a lot of people on this site when I say I've been there and can totally relate.

The "I really want to quit, but....[insert reason]" will always be there. You probably won't ever feel 100% ready and there probably won't ever be a perfect time. Especially when you're at the point where you feel like you need a pill to wake up and function at all. Some times are better than others though - example, I wouldn't suggested trying to quit during finals week. Do you have a nice long break in December/January like many colleges do?

Quitting is really hard and you'll be tempted to go back on it anytime you feel overwhelmed or when you need to be on your A game, which might feel like all the time in college! So you'll need a game plan for quitting and staying clean. I force myself to look at a list of all the negatives and visit this site. Read the stories here so you know what to expect (spoiler alert: lots of sleeping, eating, and being pretty depressed). But it gets better eventually! :)

If it helps at all, I quit about a year after graduating college and never thought I'd be able to function without Adderall at my job in corporate America, but I did it. Today is 89 days clean. I was a complete sloth for the first month, then things slowly started improving.

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My situation was very similar to yours. I started taking adderall senior year of high school and my grades improved drastically. Took it all the way through my senior year of college (which I am in right now--I've been off of it for 6 months). I got to the point where I had to take 60mg of adderall or vyvanse just to get out of bed...and most days I was taking up to 120mg. I completely lost interest in all things and my life began to deteriorate. Going off of it (especially such a high dose) was super hard, but so worth it. I agree with the post above, try to go off of it when you have a long break from school. Make sure you have lots of support (friends, family) to help you, especially during the first month. I had tried to quit before, & it took me three or four tries to stay off of it for good. When I first went off of it, I basically slept for a week straight. The lack of energy/motivation was my biggest problem off the adderall. What has really helped me is exercise (even though you won't feel like doing it AT ALL) and a supplement called l-tyrosine (you can get it at gnc). I take 1000mg of l-tyrosine every morning now.

Good luck, I know what a horrible spot you are in, but just know it will get better!

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I completely lost interest in all things and my life began to deteriorate.

 

That one little sentence means so much.  It's really weird how the adderall makes you loose interest in pretty much everything. I'm at that point where I don't "like" anything and I've chased away all friends, barely talk to family....it's scary

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