BeverlyM Posted April 23, 2015 Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 Ive been on this site all day. And I've read so many posts ab ppl taking a lot a one time when they relapse, and it made me think to go count the pills I have left from my prescription I had filled 4 days ago. Before I make myself look like a giant ass, I'd like to say that this is what happens when I get so far in that I'm afraid to even come back to reality. It's so scary when I can feel everything become pointless and its like somebody pushes a button in me that makes me quit caring ab anything BC its all pointless anyway. So I take another one. Ive taken 15 30mg pills in 4 days. That's 450 mgs in 4 days. Im 25 years old, I weigh 120 pounds. I don't even work. I can't because I have seizures from head trauma from an accident that happened when I was ab 6 or 7. But my POINT is that I MYSELF don't have an excuse for this other than in afraid not to. Honestly, I feel like a giant asshole. I really didn't realize how fast those lil orange bastards add up. I do want to fix this, but I'm completely clueless on where to start and how. Telling my mom isn't an option. It would get worse. And im just not brave enough to flush them. I would literally hate myself within the next hour or 2 when I come down. Geez, if this wouldn't make you feel like a failure, I don't know what would. Im so disappointed in myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeverlyM Posted April 23, 2015 Author Report Share Posted April 23, 2015 And I have no idea why my posts keep posting twice. Sorry I know that's annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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