Preparing to quit - Which days are the worst?

[CosmiKitten]

Hey everyone, I've been visiting this site now for the past six months or so, and just about every day this month. I'm getting ready to quit... I can say for sure that I can't live this way much longer. I'm losing my personality, social skills, sex drive, health, sanity, the list goes on.

I've read the "How to Quit" page and I think its a good plan of action. So whats holding me back? My fears of course.

My greatest fear right now: My withdrawal affecting my job

Once when I was unable to get an appointment to refill before my prescription ran out, I had to go 2 days without adderall. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal, I had quit adderall once a couple years prior with little trouble; I was fed up with it, the very thought of continuing to take it made me sick. But this time it was HORRIBLE.

I wasn't just tired, I was TIIIIRREEED. One of the things I love about adderall is NEVER EVER BEING TIRED. Sure, you get sleepy, and sometimes its hard to wake up, but I know that when I pop the pill, I'll feel awake, with a little euphora and excitement sprinkled on top. So I am ready to expect the dreadful fatigue and exhaustion, considering that not only is it natural during stimulant withdrawal, but even more painful considering I've practically forgotten what tired feels like.

I work at a bank. During those two days without my prescription, I could barely keep my head up at my desk. I made a lot of mistakes... Bad ones. Like handing out too much money cause I was looking at the wrong numbers, poor data entry that caused accounts to bounce... and just a few days ago I had my review in which these things came up and affected my grading and salary increase poorly. I want to quit adderall and get back to my normal self, but I'm afraid of losing the best job I ever had.

So I'm wondering... Should I start on a weekend? Should I try to get time off and take a week? Does it get better or worse after the first few days? How can I schedule this so I can keep myself from losing my job? Is my going off medication something that I should disclose to coworkers, or privately to HR? Should I do some kind of detoxing, cleansing thing to help get it out faster?

I was also going to ask if anyone had any supplement/health suggestions for the withdrawal period, but I see a post is the works, looking forward to it!

I'm so glad there are message boards up now, I really hope more people come and start posting, its obvious we greatly need each other's support.

[Lilah]

Hi CosmiKitten,

Absolutely try to take some time off. At minimum get a four day weekend. This will allow you to just sleep through the very worst of the crash. Also, if you can taper down first, the level of crash you will experience will be significantly less. Also, look for my Cushion Your Crash Landing: Nutritional Needs After Adderall posts on this site. It addresses your dietary and supplement questions.

Best of luck!

[CosmiKitten]

Lilah-

Thank you so much for your response. After a lot of thinking, I've formulated a great plan to quit, with the perfect date: January 1st, 2011! I decided about halfway through december that I didn't want to get a new prescription, and when I counted my pills I realized I had enough to taper myself off by 5 mg or so every few days until the new year, so hopefully that will make it a little easier. And I was able to get the 3rd and the 4th off from work, leaving me with a four day weekend.

I read your post about cushioning the crash, very well written and informative! I have a little shopping list ready to fill my house with some good foods, which I look forward to wanting to eat and actually enjoy

As I said, this quitting thing has been coming for me for months, and I have a lot of support. My fiancee, a most wonderful person, the love of my life, who knew me before I started taking adderall has loved me even when I stopped being me. His faith that I'm in here somewhere gives me hope.

I told my mom about my struggle. She knew that I was on ADD medication and that it helped me get things done, but I don't think she knew that it was "speed" per se. When I told her I was quitting for new years, I found myself explaining everything, how good they made me feel, all the terrible side effects they had, and how addicted I was. I was so grateful and surprised when she didn't judge me at all, she just told me how much she loved me and that I could call her any time that I needed to, and she said those things many times.

I even told several people at work, three of my bosses. I was especially surprised at their support. I didn't say I was addicted, but I did tell them it would be hard to stop, that I wasn't sure if I could function without it. One woman said "You won't know unless you try". I keep thinking about that, it meant so much to me. They were totally find with giving me a couple extra days off, and when I explained that I would probably be tired and sluggish for awhile and that I was scared of making mistakes, they were lighthearted and told me not to worry, that I would be okay and they would keep an eye on me.

So I have all the tools and the plan to succeed. I strongly advise anyone who really wants to quit to tell as many people as you feel comfortable with about your plan. I know it will be very hard to go get another Rx when i've confessed all the trouble its caused to so many people who care about me.

So I'll be here a lot, I'm sure. I could write books with what I would like to say about adderall, and I know it will help me a lot.

I can't thank everyone on this site enough, Mike, Lilah, and everyone who has posted here, I think I've read every inch of this site now! I wouldnt be ready to quit without reading the experiences and struggles that have so strongly echoed my own. And even though I haven't quit yet, I don't think its too early to say that you've all saved my life. I really felt alone in this for a long time, and you've all given me the strength to make this plan.

My love and thanks to all of you.