Did you ever feel smarter/superior during interactions with others while taking adderall?

[Traceme]

This topic gets touched on here and there on the forum but I wanted to know more specifically how you felt about your interactions with other people.

 

1.  Did you feel as though other people couldn't keep up with your thought process?

 

2.  Did other people seem confused or without understanding during conversations?

 

3.  Do you feel differently now looking back on your interactions with others?

 

4.  Did you ever feel as though you were dumbing yourself down to talk with friends or family-even if it was just about casual things?

 

Just curious. Personally, I have a hard time keeping up with our conversations while he is actively using.  (Between my partner and myself) He has come right out and  mentioned some of the above to me-I just feel like a lot of words get spewed when he is talking but linking everything together is where I just am left scratching my head sometimes.  I should mention that I am dyslexic and sometimes open conversation is hard for me because I am not great at expressing myself.  However, I am  a good listener.  This has been one of the toughest challenges of our relationship. 

[Frank B]

1. Yes always

2. Most often

3. Yes I was a impatient jerk.

4. No one really mattered except my own thoughts. I'm still battling being a better listener something you almost have to relearn.

[Traceme]

This is good.  Did you know these things before you quit...and if not how long into your recovery did it come to light?.  I am still amazed by how this drug can steal away your-well I guess your personality for lack of a better term.  You probably won't be the same before you started taking it...but I bet you grow enough during your recovery to see, that might not necessarily be a bad thing.  Thank you Frank B.

[Frank B]

I always deep down knew but didn't really care now being off it forces me to reflect on the negative times on adderal. Over the last year or so on it I lost a few clients because they would just not listen to my advice. Looking back I knew that if I had more patience and not been so angry I could have probbably resolved the situation without loosing a customer. When I was on this stuff the ability to step out and look at another persons perspective was gone. I'd get stuck in the technical aspects of my work not considering even though I'm right the people I'm talking to have no clue what I'm saying. Pretty much if they just did not say without question go ahead I got angry. Also sometimes I would do a lot of work that was needed but I fully did not explain before hand what I was doing or the costs. Some clients thought I was ripping them off although everything I did was needed. I moved so fast I hated to stop and explain every little problem I found. Now my outlook is changed before I was doing more work but making less money because I just loved to fix every little problem. Now my focus is fixing the problem yet making much needed money for my family I sure won't fix 20 different things and hope the client understands and are willing to pay. They say work smarter not harder on adderal you just want to work hard but not very smart lol.

[Traceme]

This is such great insight.  It is helpful for me to be reminded as well, that it seems as though you-or anyone really-never means any harm or disrespect intentionally to anyone you may of came across.(There is always that exception but...)  You just had those adderall blinders on and hit the ground running.  Again Frank B - so so helpful.   

[dadof3finallyfree]

Thanks Traceme for asking these questions and thanks Frank for the responses.  

 

Trace me not trying to hijack your thread at all but hoping to ask a question on here with Frank mentioning the below if ok?  I hear so many people talk about having FOG brain when they run out before their refills and for up to sometimes 2 years after they successfully quit.  Does adderall cause memory loss at all??? meaning do you recall most of the bad situations, lies, things said or regretted that well? My ex wife always had the best memory way back to her child hood telling detailed stories... just wondering if shell remember the crap shes doing to me and the kids while either using and if she does quit?  And if so if its blurred or clear?  Think I read quit-once mention it comes back in a flood with alot of regret they didnt feel while doing it?

 

I ask b/c Im hoping those returned feelings can help keep them motivated to stay quit once they take that step...Thanks!

 

"I always deep down knew but didn't really care now being off it forces me to reflect on the negative times on adderal."

[Traceme]

I hoped that quote would someday resonate with me too Dadof3... Not that I need someone to reflect in a negative way for me to feel better about myself-but so it makes you uncomfortable enough in your life to want to make some positive changes.  Good questions as well Dadof3. 

[BeHereNow]

This topic gets touched on here and there on the forum but I wanted to know more specifically how you felt about your interactions with other people.

 

1.  Did you feel as though other people couldn't keep up with your thought process?

 

2.  Did other people seem confused or without understanding during conversations?

 

3.  Do you feel differently now looking back on your interactions with others?

 

4.  Did you ever feel as though you were dumbing yourself down to talk with friends or family-even if it was just about casual things?

 

Just curious. Personally, I have a hard time keeping up with our conversations while he is actively using.  (Between my partner and myself) He has come right out and  mentioned some of the above to me-I just feel like a lot of words get spewed when he is talking but linking everything together is where I just am left scratching my head sometimes.  I should mention that I am dyslexic and sometimes open conversation is hard for me because I am not great at expressing myself.  However, I am  a good listener.  This has been one of the toughest challenges of our relationship. 

 

When I was on adderall, I could hardly even keep up with my own thoughts, and others definitely had trouble keeping up with me a lot of the time.  I definitely felt like my thoughts were smarter/faster/superior to others', that I had more going on in my mind than other people could "understand," that my ideas were elaborate, deep, and extremely important (but also never good enough.)  Now looking back, I see that this was a serious kind of narcissism.  Adderall feeds this kind of narcissism and it can become a kind of intellectual arrogance.  I can see this trait now in people who take the drug vs. in people who don't.  I had a level of self-importance that led me to undervalue other people, their ideas and thoughts and feelings, and their roles in my life.  I didn't adequately appreciate things others did for me, or them just being there as good listeners.  I know better now, but in a lot of areas my life has been permanently damaged by this phase, even now that I'm quit.

[BeHereNow]

Since you are the partner of an adderallic, make sure you're being treated as an equal in your relationship.  Don't let anyone treat you as if you were inferior, or say things that undermine your sense of self-worth or intelligence.  Don't let yourself be "narcissistic fuel" for anyone else's adderall world.  It only fuels their problem in the end, while undermining you and your relationship. 

[Traceme]

Advice taken graciously.  It took me a while to not be "nice." (pushover)  I was not an equal and in my head that was always so important to me, but actually being equal or thought of as so was another thing entirely.  Fortunately for me-I stick up for myself better now...although it really looks like I'm being a bitch to him.(Although I admit-after many months this too is starting to change for the better)  There is love behind my attitude...hands down-without a doubt(Deep down I know he knows this)...but now I also love myself, and that's the  true difference.  I owe this knowledge to the only one who inspired/forced me to find it...my adderalic.  If I only had to pick one thing out of this mess to be thankful for...I actually would surprisingly have a lot...but this would be number one.  Thanks for your insight as well.  It gives me a little wind in my worn tired sails.

[Searchingsoul9]

Posted 07 May 2016 - 12:03 AM

 

1.  Did you feel as though other people couldn't keep up with your thought process?

I felt like i myself couldn't even keep up with my thought process. I am sure i sounded neurotic and frantic from someone elses perspective. 

 

2.  Did other people seem confused or without understanding during conversations?

Not to my knowledge. I did notice though that close friends or family were curious as to why i was suddenly so chatty and manic. Now if i get hyper or talkative naturally i fear they think i am using. 

 

3.  Do you feel differently now looking back on your interactions with others?

Yes. I usually ended up saying too much. Being too emotional. Writing a freaking research paper sized text message on why i appreciate their friendship so much and then a few hours later when i was crashing never answering their replies because i couldn't be bothered. 

 

4.  Did you ever feel as though you were dumbing yourself down to talk with friends or family-even if it was just about casual things?

Not intentionally. I thought i was the shit on adderall. Mistakenly so. I probably came off as more of a know it all.  

[Traceme]

Thank you Soul.  It's so good to hear these things.  As I was reading your answers I suddenly felt guilty for asking all of these questions.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the insight but maybe I should ask one last question (s).  Is it hard to answer questions like these-or should I ask...do you think it's helpful to talk about this? Does it help or does it make people sad thinking about the past? Thank you again

[Searchingsoul9]

Thank you Soul.  It's so good to hear these things.  As I was reading your answers I suddenly felt guilty for asking all of these questions.  I can't tell you how much I appreciate all the insight but maybe I should ask one last question (s).  Is it hard to answer questions like these-or should I ask...do you think it's helpful to talk about this? Does it help or does it make people sad thinking about the past? Thank you again

 

It's my pleasure. I personally love talking about it. I no longer romanticize my relationship with adderall. Yes, i slip up from time to time, but i don't spend my sober days pining after the 'old times' 

I do not mind any questions, if it can help someone else than that is wonderful.

I sometimes feel like i would like to get into some line of work where i could spread awareness of adderall addiction because it is not a very common topic. Yes, A LOT of young kids and adults abuse adderall, but it is not talked about enough. The dangers and the way that it robs you of your soul and your true identity is not a well known fact.

To answer your question, Yes...it helps me very much so, and hopefully it can help others who are considering quitting.