The effect on personality

[diehard_dodger_fan]

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[oswhid]

The personality change is real.  My husband's personality changed 180 degrees.  He went from a friendly, easy going, happy person who was an optimistic glass half full person to an angry, nitpicking, pessimist.  He used to love to socialize but turned into someone who never wanted to do anything. When in public he could still fake the friendliness but as soon as he got home he pretty much had something negative to say about everyone.  It was so surreal because he used to find something to like about everyone.  I say was surreal because after being with him 18 years prior to adderall and then 11 years of adderall hell, he is currently 96 days sober.  I feel like I have woken up from an 11 year nightmare.  He has his ups and downs and has all the typical paws symptoms but all in all is doing very well. 

I think you do have an advantage of having a couple of weeks a month to get through to her.   Since my husband never ran out and only abstained on weekends which wasn't enough time to clear the mind, it was almost impossible to reach him.

[Frank B]

Trying to talk to somone about relationships really high in stimulants never really gains much ground. Maybe tell her your worried want to go with her to the doctors and voice your concerns about her doubling her dose. Of course she will probbably flip the fuck out then maybe ask her why is she acting like this if nothing is wrong? She knows it's fucked up but she doesn't want to really own up to it.

[BeHereNow]

The personality changes are real.  I was in a great relationship for my 3+ years on adderall.  And, I felt my personality changing. But I kept going.  I felt myself not wanting affection (which is crazy because now, affection is ALL I want!!!)  I wanted to be left alone to go into my adderall world.  I thought I was smarter and stronger than my partner (how narcissistic is that?!)   Little windows would come through when I ran out, but literally nothing she said or did could have changed me.  Then she left me.  For a lot of reasons.  Mainly because she needed more commitment and more affection, and I wasn't giving it.  

 

Sometimes that's what partners of addicts have to do.  Sometimes leaving is the only way to get them clean and help them hit rock bottom.  

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I wouldn't recommend even trying to get through.  The adderall wall is practically impenetrable.  You might have to watch and wait as your partner slowly spirals downwards.  But we cannot change other people.  Addiction sucks for everyone involved and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[hyper_critical]

Well said, BHN. That was similar to my experience as well.

[Traceme]

The personality change-as many above concur-is unfortunately very real.  When my love and I were together I tried to gently point out certain things I noticed that were so different from how I knew he really was.  It usually didn't go well and most of the time I was redirected to take a look at myself and how crazy I had become. ( Maybe a little truth to that considering we all know this crap has a spider-web affect on every living thing around it)  I never did-but always wanted to-record the Jeckll to show it to Hyde-(or vise versa)-but never quite had the guts to do it.  Plus I never knew if it would of been a "safe" decision on my part considering there was a bit of a violent side to him.  I always had that window of time when he would run out-after over using-and I was sure that if he saw this person he became-it would shock him into stopping.  I am living a parallel life to yours Bones...I am just living it alone now.  Keep educating yourself-you are here-and it's like a giant answer book thanks to all the members who are trying for a better life.  Much thanks and appreciation to them for the time they share with us here.