TodayDeterminesTomorrow Posted October 18, 2016 Report Share Posted October 18, 2016 Hi all- so the last time I posted on here was months ago and somehow or another, I was able to quit cold turkey and make it several months without a pill. onviously you see where this is going...6 weeks ago I convinced myself I could try taking a pill or two and I was a changed man that understood how moderation works. I was wrong. Fast forward and while I haven't used daily, occasionally a week or so without use even- I feel worse than ever and today took at least 100mg's with a full script filled and waiting. Really I just wanted to write to you guys bc of how much everyone helped in the past. I am legitimately so scared- when I quit months ago I was able to flush what I had and was convinced I hated this crap, but I need to be honest and tell you all that while I desperately want to feel that way now, I just dont- and that's scaring me to hell. Any thoughts. Opinions, suggestions or anything really would be beyond appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank B Posted October 18, 2016 Report Share Posted October 18, 2016 I would look to join a NA group which should help you out a lot. Sounds like you don't really use everyday but more or less go on binges every couple days which is very in line with most people in NA groups. I tried quitting at 3 separate times before I got where I'm at now which still is not a safe place to say "I beat this drug" I don't think you can ever really have that outlook the minute you don't tell yourself your powerless over this drug is when you become the weakest. Wish you the best let us know how your doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted October 19, 2016 Report Share Posted October 19, 2016 Hi TDT, What I hear you saying is that this pill has a strong hold on you and right now it's got you good. You got urges 6 weeks ago and allowed the addictive voice to convince you back into it by rationalizing moderation would work. Tonight it sounds like you are in trouble as the violation effect has taken place and you've binged on a 100mgs. Yes, I agree. I would be scared too. You know the consequences of taking that much are not going to be good. You're waiting for the rest of your script and ambivalent about how to proceed. I think this is where you need to play the tape forward. What is going to happen as a result of continuing this binge? What will your life be like in another month, 3 months, 6 months, or even a year from now? Are you prepared to deal with the consequences of taking all this speed once again (hallucinations, hearing voices, isolation, social withdrawal, falling back into the addiction, and God knows what else) OR do you want to end this crap now and for good?? So what you slipped up and lapsed. It happens. It's a flat tire. Fix it and move forward in recovery. That is your other option and I can promise you that is a very safe option. There won't be any trauma involved, psychosis, psych ward trips, or falling off the deep end. Imagine yourself taking the script back to the pharmacist and saying no, I made a mistake. I don't need this and walking out of there with your head held high. You don't have to let this take you back to square one. You just pick up right where you left off. There is a good life for you ahead if you will set yourself free. The decision is yours. You are stronger than you think. You have everything within you to get through life without this drug. It is your choice and it boils down to what you want in your future. I am with you and I am rooting for you. You have the strength. Do not give up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted October 20, 2016 Report Share Posted October 20, 2016 How's it going TDT?? Are you doing okay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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