11 month check-in

[oswhid]

Husband reached 11 months today.  He's been trying to work out more.  It's hard with his work schedule to be consistent because he has to have a good nights sleep or he can't get up in time to work out.   One thing I've always worried about is the fact that I "broke the rules" when pushing him to quit this stuff.  Everyone says that it has to be something they really want but I knew he would never come to that on his own.   Our situation was somewhat unique in that we had almost two decades and 3 kids together before he started taking this stuff.   I didn't have to wonder what life would be like without it.  He was 49 when he started taking it and 60 when he stopped.  I was certain if I could get him off of it long enough to get back to his prior self then he would want to stay off of it.   It's been an anxiety filled fifteen months, first the "all in" push to get through to him which was not an easy task and then the worry about relapse until he was completely on board.

After a false start where he mostly pretended to taper for 3 months, he informed me exactly one year ago yesterday (4/13/16), that he had refilled his prescriptions.  That was a dark, dark day.  Then another month of trying to get through until he  announced that he quit as of 5/14/16.   It took him another couple of months to flush the pills.  

Slowly I have seen him go from doing it for me to doing it for himself.   He has become motivated to get off of his two blood pressure meds that he had to start taking as soon as he got on the speed.  He cut down and then stopped the one that made his legs swell first.   He probably should have tapered his remaining BP med but as he lost weight, it was making him dizzy because the dose he was on was now too strong.  But he just stopped**.  He is still having some residual dizziness in the morning but it's slowly getting better.   His BP ranges from normal to borderline to a little high but not dangerously so.   He found that while on it, it really limited his ability to work out as he was always short of breath as a side effect.  As he loses the rest of the weight and gets fit, I think he will get completely back to normal.   He has now read up on his BP meds and realizes how he basically has ALL the side effects. 

** I know he theoretically should have consulted is doctor about the BP meds but as long as it wasn't in the danger zone, I figured it could be on the high side for a couple or months with out any long term effect.   Also I am not thrilled with his doctor who just kept upping BP meds on a 49-60 year old previously healthy marathon runner patient without confronting him about what was really causing it.   His GP doctor is part of the same clinic as his psych doctor so he had access to his records and knew what he was on.

Every day I breath a little easier.  I know I have painted a pretty rosy picture of the last 11 months.  To be honest - my bar was so low that it has seemed pretty rosy to me but of course there has been bumps.  His emotions can still be volatile at times, mostly when he gets his defenses up about something, though nothing nearly as bad as before. Any insight into how long that takes to go away?

So I will end by saying that my daughter, son-in-law and 4 month old grandson arrive tonight for a week visit.   What a difference 11 months makes!

Have a happy Easter everyone.

 

[Frank B]

His emotions may never completely change back to pre adderall. I know a lot of things for me will never be the same I still at times feel very emotionless in some situations on the other hand I can go off over something very small. 

[LILTEX41]

That's so great to hear!  The longer he's off it, he will stabilize and go back to his normal self.  In the beginning, it's such a drastic change. His brain will eventually recalibrate though.  In Smart they have a thing called the 3 p's (patience, persistence, and practice).  Hang in there!